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Sahih al-Bukhari 4005 (Book 64, Hadith 56) #3831
The Marriage Proposal of Hafsa bint 'Umar

SUMMARY: This hadith is about how Umar bin Al-Khattab offered his daughter, Hafsa bint 'Umar, to Uthman bin 'Affan and Abu Bakr for marriage but they both declined due to the fact that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) had already proposed her.

Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Umar: 'Umar bin Al-Khattab said, "When (my daughter) Hafsa bint 'Umar lost her husband ____Khunays____ ibn Hudhafa As-Sahrni who was one of the companions of Allah's Messenger ﷺ and had fought in the battle of Badr and had died in Medina, I met 'Uthman bin 'Affan and suggested that he should marry Hafsa saying, "If you wish, I will marry Hafsa bint 'Umar to you,' on that, he said, 'I will think it over'. I waited for a few days and then he said to me'.I am of the opinion that I shall not marry at present'. Then I met Abu Bakr and said, 'if you wish, I will marry you, Hafsa bint 'Umar'. He kept quiet and did not give me any reply and I became more angry with him than I was with 'Uthman . Some days later, Allah's Messenger ﷺ demanded her hand in marriage and I married her to him. Later on Abu Bakr met me and said, "Perhaps you were angry with me when you offered me Hafsa for marriage and I gave no reply to you?' I said, 'Yes'. Abu Bakr said, 'Nothing prevented me from accepting your offer except that I learnt that Allah's Messenger ﷺ had referred to the issue of Hafsa and I did not want to disclose the secret of Allah's Messenger ﷺ , but had he (ie the Prophet) given her up I would surely have accepted her".
حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو الْيَمَانِ، أَخْبَرَنَا شُعَيْبٌ، عَنِ الزُّهْرِيِّ، قَالَ أَخْبَرَنِي سَالِمُ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، أَنَّهُ سَمِعَ عَبْدَ اللَّهِ بْنَ عُمَرَ ـ رضى الله عنهما ـ يُحَدِّثُ أَنَّ عُمَرَ بْنَ الْخَطَّابِ حِينَ تَأَيَّمَتْ حَفْصَةُ بِنْتُ عُمَرَ مِنْ خُنَيْسِ بْنِ حُذَافَةَ السَّهْمِيِّ وَكَانَ مِنْ أَصْحَابِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ﷺ قَدْ شَهِدَ بَدْرًا تُوُفِّيَ بِالْمَدِينَةِ قَالَ عُمَرُ فَلَقِيتُ عُثْمَانَ بْنَ عَفَّانَ فَعَرَضْتُ عَلَيْهِ حَفْصَةَ فَقُلْتُ إِنْ شِئْتَ أَنْكَحْتُكَ حَفْصَةَ بِنْتَ عُمَرَ‏.‏ قَالَ سَأَنْظُرُ فِي أَمْرِي‏.‏ فَلَبِثْتُ لَيَالِيَ، فَقَالَ قَدْ بَدَا لِي أَنْ لاَ أَتَزَوَّجَ يَوْمِي هَذَا‏.‏ قَالَ عُمَرُ فَلَقِيتُ أَبَا بَكْرٍ فَقُلْتُ إِنْ شِئْتَ أَنْكَحْتُكَ حَفْصَةَ بِنْتَ عُمَرَ‏.‏ فَصَمَتَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ، فَلَمْ يَرْجِعْ إِلَىَّ شَيْئًا، فَكُنْتُ عَلَيْهِ أَوْجَدَ مِنِّي عَلَى عُثْمَانَ، فَلَبِثْتُ لَيَالِيَ، ثُمَّ خَطَبَهَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ فَأَنْكَحْتُهَا إِيَّاهُ، فَلَقِيَنِي أَبُو بَكْرٍ فَقَالَ لَعَلَّكَ وَجَدْتَ عَلَىَّ حِينَ عَرَضْتَ عَلَىَّ حَفْصَةَ فَلَمْ أَرْجِعْ إِلَيْكَ قُلْتُ نَعَمْ‏.‏ قَالَ فَإِنَّهُ لَمْ يَمْنَعْنِي أَنْ أَرْجِعَ إِلَيْكَ فِيمَا عَرَضْتَ إِلاَّ أَنِّي قَدْ عَلِمْتُ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ﷺ قَدْ ذَكَرَهَا، فَلَمْ أَكُنْ لأُفْشِيَ سِرَّ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ﷺ ، وَلَوْ تَرَكَهَا لَقَبِلْتُهَا‏.‏
TOPICS
marriage  *  proposal  *  refusal  *  respect  *  zawaj  *  iqtirah  *  rafdh  *  ihtiram

QUICK LESSONS:
Be respectful towards your elders/authority figures .

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith is about how Umar bin Al-Khattab offered his daughter, Hafsa bint 'Umar, to two of the companions of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ; Uthman bin Affan and Abu Bakr. Both men refused the offer as they knew that Prophet Muhammad ﷺ had already proposed her. This shows us the respect and reverence these companions held for Prophet Muhammad ﷺ as they did not want to go against his wishes or disclose any secrets he may have shared with them. It also teaches us that we should always be respectful towards our elders and those in authority over us. We should never go against their wishes or try to do something without their permission even if it seems like a good idea at first glance.

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