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Sahih al-Bukhari 6777 (Book 86, Hadith 6) #6519
Discipline with Kindness

SUMMARY: The Prophet ﷺ warned against using harsh words and physical punishment when disciplining someone, as it can lead to the person being overpowered by Satan.

Narrated Abu Salama: Abu Huraira said, "A man who drank wine was brought to the Prophet. The Prophet said, 'Beat him!" Abu Huraira added, "So some of us beat him with our hands, and some with their shoes, and some with their garments (by twisting it) like a lash, and then when we finished, someone said to him, 'May Allah disgrace you!' On that the Prophet said, 'Do not say so, for you are helping Satan to overpower him'. "
حَدَّثَنَا قُتَيْبَةُ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو ضَمْرَةَ، أَنَسٌ عَنْ يَزِيدَ بْنِ الْهَادِ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، عَنْ أَبِي سَلَمَةَ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ أُتِيَ النَّبِيُّ بِرَجُلٍ قَدْ شَرِبَ قَالَ ‏"‏ اضْرِبُوهُ ‏"‏‏.‏ قَالَ أَبُو هُرَيْرَةَ فَمِنَّا الضَّارِبُ بِيَدِهِ، وَالضَّارِبُ بِنَعْلِهِ، وَالضَّارِبُ بِثَوْبِهِ، فَلَمَّا انْصَرَفَ قَالَ بَعْضُ الْقَوْمِ أَخْزَاكَ اللَّهُ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ لاَ تَقُولُوا هَكَذَا لاَ تُعِينُوا عَلَيْهِ الشَّيْطَانَ

TOPICS
discipline  *  kindness  *  punishment  *  satan  *  tadharru  *  istighna

QUICK LESSONS:
Use gentle methods such as talking things out or providing guidance while disciplining someone .

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith is about how to properly discipline someone. The Prophet (ﷺ) was once presented with a man who had been drinking wine and he instructed that he be beaten. However, some of the people present went too far in their punishment and one of them said something harsh to him. The Prophet (ﷺ) then warned them not to do so as it would only help Satan overpower him. This teaches us that even when disciplining someone, we should still be kind and avoid using harsh words or excessive physical punishment as this will only make matters worse for the person being disciplined. We should instead use gentler methods such as talking things out or providing guidance in order for the person to learn from their mistakes without feeling overwhelmed by shame or guilt.

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