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Sunan Abi Dawud 2135 (Book 12, Hadith 90) #22426
Equality in Marriage

SUMMARY: The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) would visit all of his wives equally and never showed favoritism. He would spend the night with the wife whose day it was, and when Saudah daughter of Zam'ah became old, she gave her day to 'Aishah.

Narrated Hisham b. 'Urwah: On the authority of his father that 'Aishah said: O my nephew, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ did not prefer one of us to the other in respect of his division of the time of his staying with us. It was very rare that he did not visit us any day (ie he visited all of us every day). He would come near each of his wives without having intercourse with her until he reached the one who had her day and passed his night with her. When Saudah daughter of Zam'ah became old and feared that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ would divorce her, she said: Messenger of Allah, I give to 'Aishah the day you visit me. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ accepted it from her. She said: We think that Allah, the Exalted, revealed about this or similar matter the Qur'anic verse: "If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part".. 4:128
حَدَّثَنَا أَحْمَدُ بْنُ يُونُسَ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ، - يَعْنِي ابْنَ أَبِي الزِّنَادِ - عَنْ هِشَامِ بْنِ عُرْوَةَ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، قَالَ قَالَتْ عَائِشَةُ يَا ابْنَ أُخْتِي كَانَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ لاَ يُفَضِّلُ بَعْضَنَا عَلَى بَعْضٍ فِي الْقَسْمِ مِنْ مُكْثِهِ عِنْدَنَا وَكَانَ قَلَّ يَوْمٌ إِلاَّ وَهُوَ يَطُوفُ عَلَيْنَا جَمِيعًا فَيَدْنُو مِنْ كُلِّ امْرَأَةٍ مِنْ غَيْرِ مَسِيسٍ حَتَّى يَبْلُغَ إِلَى الَّتِي هُوَ يَوْمُهَا فَيَبِيتُ عِنْدَهَا وَلْقَدْ قَالَتْ سَوْدَةُ بِنْتُ زَمْعَةَ حِينَ أَسَنَّتْ وَفَرِقَتْ أَنْ يُفَارِقَهَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ يَوْمِي لِعَائِشَةَ ‏.‏ فَقَبِلَ ذَلِكَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ مِنْهَا قَالَتْ نَقُولُ فِي ذَلِكَ أَنْزَلَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى وَفِي أَشْبَاهِهَا أُرَاهُ قَالَ ‏{‏ وَإِنِ امْرَأَةٌ خَافَتْ مِنْ بَعْلِهَا نُشُوزًا
TOPICS
equality  *  marriage  *  wives  *  istiqra  *  zawjatihinna  *  alnisaa  *  muhammad

QUICK LESSONS:
Treat your spouse fairly and without bias or prejudice towards any one person over another; Show love through other means such as giving extra attention or spending quality time together; Give something physically/materially if you are able; Offer your spouse something special even if you cannot give anything physical/material due to age/other factors

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith speaks about how Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) treated all of his wives equally and without any favoritism. He would visit each one every day, spending time with them before moving on to the next one until he reached the wife whose day it was, at which point he would stay with her for that night. When Saudah daughter of Zam'ah became old and feared that she might be divorced by him, she offered her day to Aisha so that he could spend more time with her instead. This is a great example for us today as it shows us how we should treat our spouses in marriage - fairly and without bias or prejudice towards any one person over another. We can also learn from this hadith that even if we are not able to give something physically or materially to our spouse due to age or other factors, we can still show them love through other means such as giving them extra attention or spending more quality time together.

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