My brother John is known for his US political polling, while my company, Zogby Research Services, polls primarily in the Middle East. Given the wild and sometimes bizarre ride we've been forced to endure this election season, with all due respect to John's turf, I have constructed my own US presidential election survey. I invite readers of this column to complete and send responses or comments to me via Twitter @jjz1600.
1). Given the list below, which is the most disturbing flaw that should disqualify a candidate from the presidency?
a. Lack of knowledge of the most important policy issues facing the nation.
c. Repeated use of bankruptcy laws that resulted in leaving investors and dozens of small-business contractors holding the bag.
e. Calling for a ban on Muslims and terming Mexican immigrants rapists and criminals who should be deported.
f. Still more emails
g. Displaying a persistent pattern of crude and demeaning behavior that demonstrates no respect for persons of the opposite sex.
2). Which Republican presidential candidate claimed that his daughter was "so hot" that if she weren't related, he'd date her?
a. Marco Rubio
b. Jeb Bush
c. Ted Cruz
d. Donald Trump
3). During this election season, which of the following candidates did not pledge, as one of their first acts as president, to place a phone call to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu?
a. Donald Trump
b. Hillary Clinton
c. Marco Rubio
d. Ted Cruz
e. Bernie Sanders
4). When Donald Trump says that he wants to "make America great again", to which period of our history do you think he is referring?
a. 1850 - 1865 - during slavery and the Civil War
b. 1914 - 1930 - from World War I and the post-war anti-immigrant hysteria through the Great Depression
c. 1941 - 1955 - from World War II into the Cold War and the Senator McCarthy-led anti-Red hysteria.
d. 2001 - 2009 - from 9/11, through the Iraq War, up to the Great Recession.
5). Having seen Donald Trump on television for years now, can you recall the number of different directions his hair takes in order to get "that look"?
d. Impossible to tell - it's one of the great mysteries of this campaign season
6). If Hillary Clinton were elected president, what would be the proper title to use when addressing her husband?
a. First Husband (FHOTUS)
b. Mr. Former President
c. "Hey you"
d. Try to get his attention, wait until he makes eye-contact, and then start speaking.
7). Should Hillary Clinton win and Republicans retain control of the House of Representatives, in your opinion, how long will it take for Congress to launch impeachment proceedings?
d. They won't bother, they'll just hold multiple hearings and investigations in order to make her life miserable while insuring that nothing productive happens in Washington.
8). In your opinion, which of the following individuals would have had the best chance of having the GOP-controlled Congress pass their proposed progressive legislation?
a. Mother Theresa
b. Pope Francis
c. Abraham Lincoln
d. LeBron James
e. It doesn't matter who's president, nothing would be done by Congress.
9). In your opinion, what's scarier, Donald Trump winning and taking control of the White House, or Donald Trump losing, declaring "it's all rigged", and leading a revolt against the legitimacy of our electoral process?
a. Trump winning
b. Trump losing
c. Either way, we're in a mess.
10). What's an Aleppo?
a. The American League of Enlightened Professional Pundits Organization
b. A once beautiful city in Syria that's been on the front pages of newspapers everyday as we watch it being pounded to death.
11). Having considered all of the above, which country, in your opinion, has had the longest, ugliest, weirdest presidential election ever?
b. The United States of America
Remember to send your responses and/or comments to me via Twitter @jjz1600. I hope to collect them and use them in a future piece.