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Sahih al-Bukhari 6073-6075 (Book 78, Hadith 103) #5832
Forgiveness is Better than Vows

SUMMARY: Aisha made a vow not to speak to Ibn Az-Zubair, but was eventually persuaded by Al-Miswar and 'Abdur-Rahman to forgive him and manumit forty slaves as an expiation for her vow.

Narrated 'Aisha: (the wife of the Prophet) that she was told that 'Abdullah bin Az-Zubair (on hearing that she was selling or giving something as a gift) said, "By Allah, if 'Aisha does not give up this, I will declare her incompetent to dispose of her wealth". I said, "Did he ('Abdullah bin Az-Zubair) say so?" They (people) said, "Yes"'.Aisha said, "I vow to Allah that I will never speak to Ibn Az-Zubair". When this desertion lasted long, 'Abdullah bin Az-Zubair sought intercession with her, but she said, "By Allah, I will not accept the intercession of anyone for him, and will not commit a sin by breaking my vow". When this state of affairs was prolonged on Ibn Az-Zubair (he felt it hard on him), he said to Al- Miswar bin Makhrama and 'Abdur-Rahman bin Al-Aswad bin 'Abu Yaghuth, who were from the tribe of Bani Zahra, "I beseech you, by Allah, to let me enter upon 'Aisha, for it is unlawful for her to vow to cut the relation with me". So Al-Miswar and 'Abdur-Rahman, wrapping their sheets around themselves, asked 'Aisha's permission saying, "Peace and Allah's Mercy and Blessings be upon you! Shall we come in?" 'Aisha said, "Come in". They said, "All of us?" She said, "Yes, come in all of you," not knowing that Ibn Az- Zubair was also with them. So when they entered, Ibn Az-Zubair entered the screened place and got hold of 'Aisha and started requesting her to excuse him, and wept. Al-Miswar and 'Abdur Rahman also started requesting her to speak to him and to accept his repentance. They said (to her), "The Prophet ﷺ forbade what you know of deserting (not speaking to your Muslim Brethren), for it is unlawful for any Muslim not to talk to his brother for more than three nights (days)". So when they increased their reminding her (of the superiority of having good relation with Kith and kin, and of excusing others' sins), and brought her down to a critical situation, she started reminding them, and wept, saying, "I have made a vow, and (the question of) vow is a difficult one". They (Al-Miswar and 'Abdur-Rahman) persisted in their appeal till she spoke with 'Abdullah bin Az- Zubair and she manumitted forty slaves as an expiation for her vow. Later on, whenever she remembered her vow, she used to weep so much that her veil used to become wet with her tears.
حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو الْيَمَانِ، أَخْبَرَنَا شُعَيْبٌ، عَنِ الزُّهْرِيِّ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي عَوْفُ بْنُ مَالِكِ بْنِ الطُّفَيْلِ ـ هُوَ ابْنُ الْحَارِثِ وَهْوَ ابْنُ أَخِي عَائِشَةَ زَوْجِ النَّبِيِّ ﷺ لأُمِّهَا ـ أَنَّ عَائِشَةَ حُدِّثَتْ أَنَّ عَبْدَ اللَّهِ بْنَ الزُّبَيْرِ قَالَ فِي بَيْعٍ أَوْ عَطَاءٍ أَعْطَتْهُ عَائِشَةُ وَاللَّهِ لَتَنْتَهِيَنَّ عَائِشَةُ، أَوْ لأَحْجُرَنَّ عَلَيْهَا‏.‏ فَقَالَتْ أَهُوَ قَالَ هَذَا قَالُوا نَعَمْ‏.‏ قَالَتْ هُوَ لِلَّهِ عَلَىَّ نَذْرٌ، أَنْ لاَ أُكَلِّمَ ابْنَ الزُّبَيْرِ أَبَدًا‏.‏ فَاسْتَشْفَعَ ابْنُ الزُّبَيْرِ إِلَيْهَا، حِينَ طَالَتِ الْهِجْرَةُ فَقَالَتْ لاَ وَاللَّهِ لاَ أُشَفِّعُ فِيهِ أَبَدًا، وَلاَ أَتَحَنَّثُ إِلَى نَذْرِي‏.‏ فَلَمَّا طَالَ ذَلِكَ عَلَى ابْنِ الزُّبَيْرِ كَلَّمَ الْمِسْوَرَ بْنَ مَخْرَمَةَ وَعَبْدَ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنَ الأَسْوَدِ بْنِ عَبْدِ يَغُوثَ، وَهُمَا مِنْ بَنِي زُهْرَةَ، وَقَالَ لَهُمَا أَنْشُدُكُمَا بِاللَّهِ لَمَّا أَدْخَلْتُمَانِي عَلَى عَائِشَةَ، فَإِنَّهَا لاَ يَحِلُّ لَهَا أَنْ تَنْذُرَ قَطِيعَتِي‏.‏ فَأَقْبَلَ بِهِ الْمِسْوَرُ وَعَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ مُشْتَمِلَيْنِ بِأَرْدِيَتِهِمَا حَتَّى اسْتَأْذَنَا عَلَى عَائِشَةَ فَقَالاَ السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكِ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ، أَنَدْخُلُ قَالَتْ عَائِشَةُ ادْخُلُوا‏.‏ قَالُوا كُلُّنَا قَالَتْ نَعَمِ ادْخُلُوا كُلُّكُمْ‏.‏ وَلاَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ مَعَهُمَا ابْنَ الزُّبَيْرِ، فَلَمَّا دَخَلُوا دَخَلَ ابْنُ الزُّبَيْرِ الْحِجَابَ، فَاعْتَنَقَ عَائِشَةَ وَطَفِقَ يُنَاشِدُهَا وَيَبْكِي، وَطَفِقَ الْمِسْوَرُ وَعَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ يُنَاشِدَانِهَا إِلاَّ مَا كَلَّمَتْهُ وَقَبِلَتْ مِنْهُ، وَيَقُولاَنِ إِنَّ النَّبِيَّ ﷺ نَهَى عَمَّا قَدْ عَلِمْتِ مِنَ الْهِجْرَةِ، فَإِنَّهُ لاَ يَحِلُّ لِمُسْلِمٍ أَنْ يَهْجُرَ أَخَاهُ فَوْقَ ثَلاَثِ لَيَالٍ‏.‏ فَلَمَّا أَكْثَرُوا عَلَى عَائِشَةَ مِنَ التَّذْكِرَةِ وَالتَّحْرِيجِ طَفِقَتْ تُذَكِّرُهُمَا نَذْرَهَا وَتَبْكِي وَتَقُولُ إِنِّي نَذَرْتُ، وَالنَّذْرُ شَدِيدٌ‏.‏ فَلَمْ يَزَالاَ بِهَا حَتَّى كَلَّمَتِ ابْنَ الزُّبَيْرِ، وَأَعْتَقَتْ فِي نَذْرِهَا ذَلِكَ أَرْبَعِينَ رَقَبَةً‏.‏ وَكَانَتْ تَذْكُرُ نَذْرَهَا بَعْدَ ذَلِكَ فَتَبْكِي، حَتَّى تَبُلَّ دُمُوعُهَا خِمَارَهَا‏.‏
TOPICS
forgiveness  *  vow  *  expiation  *  istighfar  *  yamin  *  kaffara

QUICK LESSONS:
Strive for peace between yourself and others instead of holding grudges or taking revenge on them; Keep your promises; Be forgiving towards those who have wronged you; Accept intercession from people when needed; Manumit slaves as an expiation when necessary .

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith speaks of the importance of forgiveness in Islam. It tells us that even if we make a vow, it is better to forgive someone who has wronged us than to keep our word. In this hadith, Aisha made a vow not to speak with Ibn Az-Zubair after he said something she didn't like. However, Al-Miswar and 'Abdur Rahman reminded her of the importance of having good relations with others in Islam and eventually persuaded her to forgive him. As an expiation for breaking her vow, she manumitted forty slaves. This hadith teaches us that it is important for Muslims not only to keep their promises but also be forgiving towards those who have wronged them. We should always strive for peace between ourselves and others instead of holding grudges or taking revenge on them.

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