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Sahih Muslim 715h (Book 17, Hadith 73) #10777
Consideration and Understanding in Marriage

SUMMARY: This hadith is about the importance of being considerate and understanding towards one's spouse, especially when they are newly married.

Jabir b. 'Abdullah (Allah be pleased with them) reported: We were with Allah's Messenger ﷺ in an expedition. When we returned I urged my camel to move quickly as it was slow. There met me a rider from behind me and he goaded it with an iron-tipped stick which he had with him. My camel moved forward like the best that you have ever seen. As I turned (my face) I found him to be Allah's Messenger ﷺ He said: Jabir, what hastens you? I said: Messenger of Allah, I am newly wedded. whereupon he said: Is it a virgin that you have married or one previously married? I said: With one previously married. He said: Why not a young girl so that you could play with her and she could play with you? Then when we arrived at and were about to enter Medina he said: Wait, so that we may enter by night (i. e. in the evening) in order that the woman with dishevelled hair may comb it, and the woman whose husband had been away may get herself clean; and when you enter (then you have the) enjoyment (of tho wife's company).
حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ يَحْيَى، أَخْبَرَنَا هُشَيْمٌ، عَنْ سَيَّارٍ، عَنِ الشَّعْبِيِّ، عَنْ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ، اللَّهِ قَالَ كُنَّا مَعَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ﷺ فِي غَزَاةٍ فَلَمَّا أَقْبَلْنَا تَعَجَّلْتُ عَلَى بَعِيرٍ لِي قَطُوفٍ فَلَحِقَنِي رَاكِبٌ خَلْفِي فَنَخَسَ بَعِيرِي بِعَنَزَةٍ كَانَتْ مَعَهُ فَانْطَلَقَ بَعِيرِي كَأَجْوَدِ مَا أَنْتَ رَاءٍ مِنَ الإِبِلِ فَالْتَفَتُّ فَإِذَا أَنَا بِرَسُولِ اللَّهِ ﷺ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ مَا يُعْجِلُكَ يَا جَابِرُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنِّي حَدِيثُ عَهْدٍ بِعُرْسٍ ‏.‏ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ أَبِكْرًا تَزَوَّجْتَهَا أَمْ ثَيِّبًا ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ قُلْتُ بَلْ ثَيِّبًا ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ هَلاَّ جَارِيَةً تُلاَعِبُهَا وَتُلاَعِبُكَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ فَلَمَّا قَدِمْنَا الْمَدِينَةَ ذَهَبْنَا لِنَدْخُلَ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ أَمْهِلُوا حَتَّى نَدْخُلَ لَيْلاً - أَىْ عِشَاءً - كَىْ تَمْتَشِطَ الشَّعِثَةُ وَتَسْتَحِدَّ الْمُغِيبَةُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ وَقَالَ ‏"‏ إِذَا قَدِمْتَ فَالْكَيْسَ الْكَيْسَ
TOPICS
marriage  *  consideration  *  understanding  *  companionship  *  nikah  *  muakhkhirah  *  shababah

QUICK LESSONS:
Show consideration for your spouse regardless of their age or marital status; strive to create an atmosphere of companionship between husband and wife so that both can benefit from each other's presence .

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith speaks to the importance of consideration and understanding in marriage. It was narrated by Jabir b. 'Abdullah who was on an expedition with the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ when he encountered a man who was urging his camel to move quickly as it was slow. The man turned out to be the Prophet himself ﷺ who asked him why he was in such a hurry. When Jabir told him that he had recently been married, the Prophet ﷺ asked if it was a virgin or someone previously married that he had wed. He then advised him to marry a young girl so that they could play together and enjoy each other's company when they arrived back home in Medina at nightfall. This hadith teaches us that we should always show consideration for our spouses regardless of their age or marital status; we should also strive to create an atmosphere of companionship between husband and wife so that both can benefit from each other's presence and enjoy each other's company fully.

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