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Sahih al-Bukhari 4324 (Book 64, Hadith 354) #4127
Discouraging Physical Attraction in Marriage

SUMMARY: The Prophet (ﷺ) warned women to not let effeminate men enter their homes and discouraged them from marrying a woman based on her physical appearance.

Narrated Um Salama: The Prophet came to me while there was an effeminate man sitting with me, and I heard him (ie the effeminate man) saying to 'Abdullah bin Abi Umaiya, "O 'Abdullah! See if Allah should make you conquer Ta'if tomorrow, then take the daughter of Ghailan (in marriage) as (she is so beautiful and fat that) she shows four folds of flesh when facing you, and eight when she turns her back". The Prophet then said, "These (effeminate men) should never enter upon you (O women!)". Ibn Juraij said, "That effeminate man was called Hit". Narrated Hisham: The above narration and added extra, that at that time, the Prophet, was besieging Taif.
حَدَّثَنَا الْحُمَيْدِيُّ، سَمِعَ سُفْيَانَ، حَدَّثَنَا هِشَامٌ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ زَيْنَبَ ابْنَةِ أَبِي سَلَمَةَ، عَنْ أُمِّهَا أُمِّ سَلَمَةَ ـ رضى الله عنها ـ دَخَلَ عَلَىَّ النَّبِيُّ وَعِنْدِي مُخَنَّثٌ فَسَمِعْتُهُ يَقُولُ لِعَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ أَبِي أُمَيَّةَ يَا عَبْدَ اللَّهِ أَرَأَيْتَ إِنْ فَتَحَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْكُمُ الطَّائِفَ غَدًا فَعَلَيْكَ بِابْنَةِ غَيْلاَنَ، فَإِنَّهَا تُقْبِلُ بِأَرْبَعٍ وَتُدْبِرُ بِثَمَانٍ‏.‏ وَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ ‏ "‏ لاَ يَدْخُلَنَّ هَؤُلاَءِ عَلَيْكُنَّ ‏"‏‏.‏ قَالَ ابْنُ عُيَيْنَةَ وَقَالَ ابْنُ جُرَيْجٍ الْمُخَنَّثُ هِيتٌ‏.‏ حَدَّثَنَا مَحْمُودٌ حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو أُسَامَةَ عَنْ هِشَامٍ بِهَذَا، وَزَادَ وَهْوَ مُحَاصِرٌ الطَّائِفَ يَوْمَئِذٍ‏.‏

TOPICS
marriage  *  attraction  *  discouragement  *  men  *  nikah  *  zawj  *  jinsiyyah  *  khubzah

QUICK LESSONS:
Choose your partner carefully by looking at his/her character & faith instead of only focusing on his/her looks .

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith is about the Prophet Muhammad's warning to women not to let effeminate men into their homes. He also discouraged them from marrying someone based on their physical appearance. The Prophet Muhammad was concerned that people would be attracted to someone because of how they look rather than for the right reasons such as character and faith. He wanted people to focus on finding a spouse who has good qualities and values rather than just looks. This hadith teaches us that we should be careful when choosing our partners in life and make sure we are looking for someone with good qualities instead of just focusing on physical attraction.

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