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(Book 29, Hadith 108) #36324
Mourning with Moderation

SUMMARY: Mourning is a form of respect for the deceased and should be done in moderation.

108 Yahya related to me from Malik that he had heard that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, visited Umm Salama while she was in mourning for Abu Salama and she had put aloes on her eyes. He said, "What is this, Umm Salama?" She said, "It is only aloes, Messenger of Allah". He said, "Put it on at night and wipe it off in the daytime". Malik said, "The mourning of a young girl who has not yet had a menstrual period takes the same form as the mourning of one who has had a period. She avoids what a mature woman avoids if her husband dies". Malik said, "A slave-girl mourns her husband when he dies for two months and five nights like her idda'.' Malik said, "An umm walad does not have to mourn when her master dies, and a slave-girl does not have to mourn when her master dies. Mourning is for those with husbands".
وَحَدَّثَنِي عَنْ مَالِكٍ، أَنَّهُ بَلَغَهُ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ دَخَلَ عَلَى أُمِّ سَلَمَةَ وَهِيَ حَادٌّ عَلَى أَبِي سَلَمَةَ وَقَدْ جَعَلَتْ عَلَى عَيْنَيْهَا صَبِرًا فَقَالَ ‏"‏ مَا هَذَا يَا أُمَّ سَلَمَةَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَقَالَتْ إِنَّمَا هُوَ صَبِرٌ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ اجْعَلِيهِ فِي اللَّيْلِ وَامْسَحِيهِ بِالنَّهَارِ

TOPICS
mourning  *  respect  *  moderation  *  inqiyaad  *  tazkiyah  *  ittisaal

QUICK LESSONS:
Show respect for those who have passed away by grieving them appropriately; Be mindful of your own health and wellbeing during this time; Follow advice given by Prophet Muhammad ﷺ .

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith speaks about the importance of mourning for those who have lost a loved one. It is important to show respect and honor to the deceased by mourning them in moderation. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ visited Umm Salama while she was in mourning for her husband Abu Salama and asked her what she was doing. She told him that she had put aloes on her eyes as part of her mourning ritual. He then advised her to put it on at night and wipe it off during the day so that it would not become excessive or too much. The Prophet ﷺ also taught that young girls who have not yet reached puberty should mourn like mature women if their husbands die but slaves do not need to mourn when their masters die because they are not married to them. It is important to remember that although we must show respect for those who have passed away by grieving them appropriately, we must also be mindful of our own health and wellbeing during this time so as not to overburden ourselves with grief or sadness.

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