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(Book 29, Hadith 30) #36247
The Right of Choice in Marriage

SUMMARY: A husband giving his wife the right of choice in their marriage is not considered a divorce.

Yahya related to me that Malik heard Ibn Shihab say, "When a man gives his wife the right of choice, and she chooses him, that is not divorce". Malik added, "That is the best of what I have heard". Malik said that if a woman who had been given the right of choice by her husband chose herself, she was divorced trebly. If her husband said, "But I only gave her the right of choice in one," he had none of that. That was the best of what he had heard. Malik said, "If the man gives his wife the right of choice and she says, 'I accept one', and he says, 'I did not mean that, I have given the right of choice in all three together,' then if she only accepts one, she remains with him in her marriage, and that is not separation if Allah, the Exalted wills".
وَحَدَّثَنِي عَنْ مَالِكٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ شِهَابٍ، أَنَّهُ سَمِعَهُ يَقُولُ إِذَا خَيَّرَ الرَّجُلُ امْرَأَتَهُ فَاخْتَارَتْهُ فَلَيْسَ ذَلِكَ بِطَلاَقٍ ‏.‏ قَالَ مَالِكٌ وَذَلِكَ أَحْسَنُ مَا سَمِعْتُ ‏.‏ قَالَ مَالِكٌ فِي الْمُخَيَّرَةِ إِذَا خَيَّرَهَا زَوْجُهَا فَاخْتَارَتْ نَفْسَهَا فَقَدْ طَلُقَتْ ثَلاَثًا وَإِنْ قَالَ زَوْجُهَا لَمْ أُخَيِّرْكِ إِلاَّ وَاحِدَةً فَلَيْسَ لَهُ ذَلِكَ ‏.‏ وَذَلِكَ أَحْسَنُ مَا سَمِعْتُهُ ‏.‏ قَالَ مَالِكٌ وَإِنْ خَيَّرَهَا فَقَالَتْ قَدْ قَبِلْتُ وَاحِدَةً وَقَالَ لَمْ أُرِدْ هَذَا وَإِنَّمَا خَيَّرْتُكِ فِي الثَّلاَثِ جَمِيعًا أَنَّهَا إِنْ لَمْ تَقْبَلْ إِلاَّ وَاحِدَةً أَقَامَتْ عِنْدَهُ عَلَى نِكَاحِهَا وَلَمْ يَكُنْ ذَلِكَ فِرَاقًا إِنْ شَاءَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى
TOPICS
marriage  *  choice  *  divorce  *  acceptance

QUICK LESSONS:
Respect your partner's decision; Give your partner an opportunity to make their own decisions; Be willing to accept your partner's decision even if it does not align with yours; Strengthen your relationship through understanding each other's wishes; Maintain peace between both parties involved in the relationship

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith discusses the importance of choice in marriage. It states that if a husband gives his wife the right to choose whether or not she wants to stay married to him and she chooses him then it is not considered a divorce. Malik added that if the woman only accepts one out of three choices given by her husband then she remains with him in her marriage and this is not separation. This hadith emphasizes on respecting each other's decisions and understanding each other's wishes when it comes to marriage. It also teaches us that we should always give our partners an opportunity to make their own decisions without any pressure from us as this will help strengthen our relationship with them. Furthermore, it teaches us that we should always be willing to accept our partner's decision even if it does not align with ours as this will help maintain peace between both parties involved in the relationship.

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