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Sahih al-Bukhari 3781 (Book 63, Hadith 6) #3609
Generosity and Kindness in Marriage

SUMMARY: The hadith is about the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) encouraging generosity and kindness in marriage, even if one does not have much to give.

Narrated Anas: When 'Abdur-Rahman bin 'Auf came to us, Allah's Messenger ﷺ made a bond of fraternity between him and Sa'd bin Ar-Rabi' who was a rich man, Sa'd said, "The Ansar know that I am the richest of all of them, so I will divide my property into two parts between me and you, and I have two wives; see which of the two you like so that I may divorce her and you can marry her after she becomes lawful to you by her passing the prescribed period (ie 'Idda) of divorce'.Abdur Rahman said, "May Allah bless you your family (ie wives) for you". (But 'Abdur-Rahman went to the market) and did not return on that day except with some gain of dried yogurt and butter. He went on trading just a few days till he came to Allah's Messenger ﷺ bearing the traces of yellow scent over his clothes. Allah's Messenger ﷺ asked him, "What is this scent?" He replied, "I have married a woman from the Ansar". Allah's Apostle asked, "How much Mahr have you given?" He said, "A date-stone weight of gold or a golden date-stone". The Prophet ﷺ said, "Arrange a marriage banquet even with a sheep".
حَدَّثَنَا قُتَيْبَةُ، حَدَّثَنَا إِسْمَاعِيلُ بْنُ جَعْفَرٍ، عَنْ حُمَيْدٍ، عَنْ أَنَسٍ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ أَنَّهُ قَالَ قَدِمَ عَلَيْنَا عَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنُ عَوْفٍ، وَآخَى رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَ سَعْدِ بْنِ الرَّبِيعِ، وَكَانَ كَثِيرَ الْمَالِ، فَقَالَ سَعْدٌ قَدْ عَلِمَتِ الأَنْصَارُ أَنِّي مِنْ أَكْثَرِهَا مَالاً، سَأَقْسِمُ مَالِي بَيْنِي وَبَيْنَكَ شَطْرَيْنِ، وَلِي امْرَأَتَانِ، فَانْظُرْ أَعْجَبَهُمَا إِلَيْكَ فَأُطَلِّقُهَا، حَتَّى إِذَا حَلَّتْ تَزَوَّجْتَهَا‏.‏ فَقَالَ عَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ بَارَكَ اللَّهُ لَكَ فِي أَهْلِكَ‏.‏ فَلَمْ يَرْجِعْ يَوْمَئِذٍ حَتَّى أَفْضَلَ شَيْئًا مِنْ سَمْنٍ وَأَقِطٍ، فَلَمْ يَلْبَثْ إِلاَّ يَسِيرًا، حَتَّى جَاءَ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ﷺ وَعَلَيْهِ وَضَرٌ مِنْ صُفْرَةٍ فَقَالَ لَهُ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ ‏"‏ مَهْيَمْ ‏"‏‏.‏ قَالَ تَزَوَّجْتُ امْرَأَةً مِنَ الأَنْصَارِ‏.‏ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ مَا سُقْتَ فِيهَا ‏"‏‏.‏ قَالَ وَزْنَ نَوَاةٍ مِنْ ذَهَبٍ، أَوْ نَوَاةً مِنْ ذَهَبٍ، فَقَالَ ‏"‏ أَوْلِمْ وَلَوْ بِشَاةٍ
TOPICS
marriage  *  generosity  *  kindness  *  ansar  *  mahr

QUICK LESSONS:
Be generous in marriage; show kindness towards those less fortunate than you; accept offers made out of goodwill; celebrate your union with others; be humble in all matters related to marriage

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith speaks of the importance of generosity and kindness when it comes to marriage. It tells the story of 'Abdur-Rahman bin 'Auf who was welcomed into the community by Sa'd bin Ar-Rabi', a wealthy man. Sa'd offered to share his wealth with 'Abdur-Rahman by offering him one of his wives as a bride. Despite having little money himself, 'Abdur-Rahman accepted this generous offer with gratitude and went on to marry her after she became lawful for him through divorce proceedings. The Prophet Muhammad then encouraged them both to celebrate their union with a banquet even if they could only afford a sheep for it. This hadith teaches us that generosity is an important part of marriage and that we should be kind towards those who are less fortunate than us when it comes to matters such as this.

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