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Brother123 View Drop Down
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Joined: 22 April 2005
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Brother123 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 April 2005 at 1:03pm

Asslamualikum,

one can marry a christain women if she is an honourable women . menaing that she has not indulged in sex outside marraige or kissing etc.

however if a Chrsitaisn women ( or any kaffir women for that matter) converts to islam then her past sins are wiped out.

Also a person should be encouraged to convert if they believe Islam is the truth. If they are not prefect Muslims then them still it is better than them being kaffir.

 

As long as they do not believe or do things that invalidate their Islam.

Thinks that invalidate Islam please read on my site www.shariahway.com

walikum salam

Abuubaida

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bissmillah View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bissmillah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 May 2005 at 10:53pm
Quran(12:177 "It is not righteousness That you turn your faces Towards the East or west But it is righteousness To believe in God And the Last Day,And the Angles,and the book, And the messanger; To spend of your substance,Out of love for him, For your relatives,for orphans,for the needy, for the wayfarer,for those who ask,And for the freedom of slaves, To be steadyfast in prayers,And practice regular charity,To fullfil the agreements Which you have made..."    
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umsami View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote umsami Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 May 2005 at 4:39am

Assalamu Alaikum:

As a revert, I've seen far too many women revert for a guy... without fully understanding Islam and what they are agreeing to.  They do it because they want to marry him... and for his family to accept them.  I usually counsel reverts to wait at least one year after reverting (preferably two) before marrying or considering marriage.  Why?? Many times after they do revert, if they are sincere, they find out that this guy (who they may/may not have been sleeping with prior to reverting) is not the type of Muslim they want for a husband!

If she's determined to revert, they should at least take a cooling off period before marrying... and the girl needs to make sure she has an excellent wali who can investigate this guy and stand up for her rights!

Peace.



Edited by umsami
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UmTayyab View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote UmTayyab Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 May 2005 at 7:23pm
Originally posted by Brother123 Brother123 wrote:

Asslamualikum,

one can marry a christain women if she is an honourable women . menaing that she has not indulged in sex outside marraige or kissing etc.

however if a Chrsitaisn women ( or any kaffir women for that matter) converts to islam then her past sins are wiped out.

Also a person should be encouraged to convert if they believe Islam is the truth. If they are not prefect Muslims then them still it is better than them being kaffir.

 

As long as they do not believe or do things that invalidate their Islam.

Thinks that invalidate Islam please read on my site www.shariahway.com

walikum salam

Abuubaida

The allowance to marry Christian and Jewish women states that they are acceptable as wives for Muslim men if they are CHASTE women of the book.  They must be practicing their religion, avoiding sin, worshipping Allah as their religion has outlined, not just a card carrying Christian or Jew, because that's what their parents say they are.

The Christian and Jewish women at the time of the Prophet salla Allahu alaihi wa salam covered themselves in proper hijab.  This was part of their religion then.  They obeyed their husbands, this was also part of their religion.  They didn't mix with other men.  They stayed in their homes and cared for their families. What you see today is not what the Prophet salla Allahu alaihi wa salam experienced when he married Maryam.

I have seen the heartbreak of some brothers who married non-muslim women and when the children begin to grow, the brother begins to take his Islam seriously, but his wife cannot bear what she has been taught is oppression and possessiveness.  It tears the family apart.  And in the western nations, she has all the rights on the children.

Please advise your brother to find a better bride.  Love has nothing to do with it, what he is feeling is fleeting and will fade within the first year.  Real love and commitment takes time and patience, years!  He could find a better wife marrying a stranger who holds the same beliefs and boundries that he does.  No matter how much you think you love someone, if there is constant conflict in the home, you will eventually resent your spouse and destroy your family.



Edited by UmTayyab
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UmTayyab View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote UmTayyab Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 May 2005 at 7:26pm
Originally posted by umsami umsami wrote:

Assalamu Alaikum:

As a revert, I've seen far too many women revert for a guy... without fully understanding Islam and what they are agreeing to.  They do it because they want to marry him... and for his family to accept them.  I usually counsel reverts to wait at least one year after reverting (preferably two) before marrying or considering marriage.  Why?? Many times after they do revert, if they are sincere, they find out that this guy (who they may/may not have been sleeping with prior to reverting) is not the type of Muslim they want for a husband!

If she's determined to revert, they should at least take a cooling off period before marrying... and the girl needs to make sure she has an excellent wali who can investigate this guy and stand up for her rights!

Peace.

Masha'Allah, very very good insight and advice.  I have seen so many converts marry the man they were dating when they took shahadah, only to far surpass their husband's iman and ibadah, and regret having not taken the time to learn Islam before chosing their spouse.  Most brothers resent the wife who surpasses them in Islam, and will always challenge her status as a muslim ("You think you are a better muslim than me??? I was BORN a muslim!"), and will quite often throw her unchaste past in her face.



Edited by UmTayyab
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mail2aamir View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mail2aamir Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 May 2005 at 9:55pm

Salaam brothers and sisters in Deen,

Well when i started this topic i was very skeptical abt the insights tht i wud get. however, i held an assurance in my heart regarding the good quality of members on this discussion forum. Thus i always expected gud and insightful replies and suggestions.

I am so happy and feel content today to get what i wanted. You ppl have done a remarkable service by providing righteous suggestions.

After a lot of brainstorming and thinking over the subject and keeping in mind suggestions posted here, it has been finally decided NOT to marry this woman. Because we also chalked out a plan and tried to test this woman on Islamic perspectives.

We asked her many questions indirectly and gave her various scenarios over this period of a month (and all Questions and scenarios related directly or indirectly to Islamic rules).

This lady at the end turned out to be the modern day Christian who is as far from the true/right path as possible.

According to her respecting parents and giving thm time is crap and outdated. She says tht bozzing if done in control is infact gud for health. And many more...

Once again i thank all of you for replies to the topic. And helping a brother to keep to Righteous PAth.

Well i think i wud yet again bounce a query to all of u. This time a matrimonial one. If there are any sisters who r luking smone for marriage may consider this Guy of age 25, 5'11" height, fair color, average built, extremely intelligent and highly educated (from a very respectable family of the region), working as Consultant in a world's most reputed and one of the Fortune 20 IT organization. Currently settled in India. Highly Islamic upbringing and a very respectable guy because of his knowledgable and insightful views on almost any subject.

So u see tht i hav converted this topic to a matrimonial thing. i believe this wud help and i pray May Allah allow response from most suited partner for him, Inshallah.

May peace, blessings and mercy of Allah (swt) be on all of us, Ameen.

ur brother in Deen

Aamir

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mail2aamir View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mail2aamir Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 May 2005 at 9:57pm

salaam,

u can contact or write to [email protected]

Allah Hafiz

aamir

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UmTayyab View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote UmTayyab Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 May 2005 at 6:56am
May Allah reward your friend for his patience and steadfastness, and bless him with the best wife, Ameen.

Edited by UmTayyab
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