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keema1 
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Female Joined: 21 August 2010 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2 |
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 Topic: helpPosted: 21 August 2010 at 9:14am |
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As Salaam u Alakium I am dealing with a matter that has caused me a great deal of stress. My ex huband has abanden his 8 month old daughter and moved on with his life. I have been struggling to raise her and I get no help from our local Iman. I have tryed to set up an appointment with him yet he has yet to call me back. I have begun to feel hopeless because my baby does not have a father, he walks around the belivers like he is a good brother but he does nothing for his child. i went through the courts and he still refuses to pay I am losing my faith in Islam and thinking that there has to be a better way. Please if anyone can advise me on this matter I need help!!
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peacemaker
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Male Joined: 29 December 2005 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 3057 |
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Posted: 22 August 2010 at 4:00am |
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Walaikum Salam, Welcome to the forum, sister. May Allah strengthen you in this difficult period. If you live in the US, here is a mosque locator: http://www.islamicity.com/orgs/ At this time, faith in Allah, prayers, and consultation would steer you out of crisis, insha Allah. May Allah guide us all. Peace |
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Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
Qur'an 55:13 |
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abuayisha
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Muslim Joined: 05 October 1999 Location: Los Angeles Status: Offline Points: 5105 |
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Posted: 22 August 2010 at 5:13am |
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I would suggest that you visit the Masjid instead of calling, and speak with the Imam directly after salat. You may also want to reach out to the Imam's wife to intercede on behalf with the Imam. Does your ex-husband have the ability to pay? What does he do for a living? Is he currently employed? Was he employed when he left? Is there an estrangement that prevents communication between you and him? What does he say when you request assistance? Have you sought other means of securing your needs; family, friends, or public assistance (welfare)? Here in Los Angles we have women's groups that specifically deal the needs of women with children - are there any in your city? Focus on more on securing what you need and less on insisting upon where it comes from, as often men may withhold to somehow punish their ex-wives sadly.
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keema1
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Female Joined: 21 August 2010 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2 |
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Posted: 22 August 2010 at 5:33am |
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I was at Jumah when I asked to speak with the Iman someone told me that I needed to make an appointment; he wrote my name and the nature of the problem and i got no response. HE and I both attend the same Masjid, and in regards to his employment he works for an Islamic funeral service, so he has the means to pay something. He has a facebook page and on this page he post that he is with someon else who is not Muslim and that he moved on with his life. We have no communcation what so ever; his family does not speak to me anylonger because of the things that he has said. They have walked right past me at jummah like i was nothing, I get no support from him or his family. He left me while i was pregant and has never looked back. I don't know where to turn!!!
Edited by keema1 - 22 August 2010 at 5:34am |
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Pati
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Female Joined: 10 April 2009 Location: Spain Status: Offline Points: 304 |
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Posted: 22 August 2010 at 10:02am |
Don't feel this way. Look at your daughter face and pray with Faith, and you will find the answer. You are already rich because you are not alone, and you have to think about how to go ahead with our life without your husband. Don't stop your life waiting for his help, just start looking for a job, and go ahead alone. Make your self stronger by the work, the love for your child and the Faith.
Lot of people doesn't have any Faith, but at the same time they show everyone that they are the best believers and having the perfect life. It's not happening only to you, but to millions of people, men and women. But Allah/God, He knows who is the good and who isn't good believer, and someone who abandones his family is not, and will have his deserved reward one day. Just go on with your small gift and think that he has already lost the best thing we may get in this life, the children.
All the best and please, be strong in this life and try to be independent. Work hard for yourself and your child.
Regards,
Patricia
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No God wants the killing, but the peace.
The weapons are carried by people, not by religions. |
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abuayisha
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Muslim Joined: 05 October 1999 Location: Los Angeles Status: Offline Points: 5105 |
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Posted: 22 August 2010 at 2:16pm |
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You mentioned that you don't know where to turn. Is this regarding money only? Without knowing details of your failed marriage you sound hurt and angry, but your primary focus must now be on your child and yourself. Do not worry about your husband or his family. Are you back living with your parents? Certainly you must qualify for public assistance, have you applied? There are programs that will also pay for childcare while you complete your studies. Have you considered going back to school? It is normal to feel a little confused after a divorce, but you must also move on. Take this time to study your religion. Join a group in the Masjid for memorizing Quran or learning Arabic. Try to stay busy and be as productive as possible - you'll get through this. Now is the time for patience and prayer, and especially during this Blessed Month of Ramadan. Don't worry about asking someone to speak to the Imam. When you see him walk directly up to him and tell him you have a very pressing matter that can not wait which is affecting your faith. Is the Imam an American? Tell him his office has not responded to your many requests and seek an appointment directly from him. Ask around for his cell phone number and call him direct. Do you know his wife or daughters? Speak with them concerning your pressing need. Could it be that your ex-husband's family are saying the same about you; that you walked right pass them without speaking? Have you attempted to take his mom's hand and explain your side of the story? Do you have any family members who attend this Masjid? Are you a new convert and new to this Masjid?
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keema1 wrote: