Pray for me please

also, I'm hoping to relocate to another area. I've gone through that disillusioned phase with our ummah and am not seeking any type of support at least in person. The pay back for doing so is just too much for me and now that I'm a mama I really don't have the energy to deal with fitnah.

Ive tried very hard to be patient, tolerant, proactive, and solutions oriented but to no avail.. SupanaAllah..

I seek refuge from Shaytan the outcast

Dear Sister-In-Islaam,  May Allah, The All-Knowing protect and guide you and your daughter. 

Mrs. Dia: Amen

I would say that very often we can't find the things we're looking for.  Maybe it is that we have to reacess our strategy of how we search and be open to new possibilities for answers.  When something isn't working, it's good to try a different way of achieving our goals.  And maybe we need a new set of goals. 

Mrs. Dia: I agree with you 100%. It's obvious that my method isn't working for me and it's up to me do something about it. I've found a Psychologist and I'm planning on taking this year to really sort through my feelings, experiences, needs, and life goals so that I can make a decision and just move on. Peace is important to me. I believe that your faith should offer an oppurtunity for inner peace and contenment.

I've experienced so much negative side effects as a result of being a convert Muslim that the degree and quanitity of those side affects is beginning to out weight any good, and that is where I'm falling off at.

But our Loving Lord will guide us.  What are His goals for us?  What is our fate?  Only He knows.  We can only try to follow the Islaamic way of life and be patient in terms of our faith and belief that Allah is One, Eternal, that He is neither male nor female and has no partners. 

Mrs. Dia: Yes, Allah is Yal-Hadi! And boy is Allah's guidance the best of them all! As for patience, some times, I'm feeling confused about being patient versus becomming a marytar. Recall that hadith about a woman is like a bint rib. You can bend, and bend, and bend, and bend, but if you bend too hard, too long, it will snapp or break off. That describes my emotional and spiritual place at the moment. I'm completely shocked and caught off guard as I thought I had worked my way through this.

Prayer strengthens our spirit.  Fasting strenghthens our ability to be patient.  Hajj unifies us with our community.  Zakkah opens us up to Allah's generosity for us.

Mrs. Dia: Ma'sha'Allah, thank you for the reminder and the way it is said is very poetic.

Don't leave Islaam.  Leave the path that is bothering you for one that is amenable to your Deen.  Ameen.

Mrs. Dia: You're abosoultely right! Leave that path that is bothering me...........

Sister, my psychologist told me I'm suffering from Post-Trumatic stress disorder as a result of my overal experience as a Muslim.  Her opinion is that as long as I remain Muslim in this manner in this type of community I'll never be able to heal and move forward with my life. What would you say about this?