Depression

I've come to the conclusion I am depressed.  It's been a problem for quite a few years.  I think it is because of certain events in my life which were very devastating.  In sum, my father left me when I was six, my fiance left me four years ago and a new woman I fancied, just recently rejected me.  I guess I'm really sensitive and rejection has taken its toll on me.

I'm pursuing a degree in medicine so I've self-diagnosed.  I don't really enjoy life very much and I feel incredibly guilty because I know a Muslim isn't supposed to be like that.  I haven't had suicidal ideation, however, I've sort of wished for death, but it makes me feel worse because I know Muslims aren't supposed to do that.

I've been feeling miserable for about a year, to the point where it's affecting my work so I have postponed med school.  I have also stopped praying.  I only have my mother but she's old and doesn't understand.

My feelings initially translated into hatred towards women, however, it's translated into hatred towards everyone.  I get this feeling that people just use me and when they've had what they want, they just leave me.  I used to feel empathy towards my patients, but I look at every person with contempt now, so I've put my career on hiatus. 

One of my colleagues has suggested that I take antidepressants, however, I am strongly against antidepressants.  What I am afraid of is that if I continue this behaviour, I will not be worthy in the sight of Allah for not praying and for not contributing to society etc.  I've also lost all interest in marriage and interest in all women(don't worry I'm not gay :P). 

I have a strong feeling I will feel like this for quite a while.  What is the Islamic thing to do?  Do I take antidepressants and become a zombie, numbing my senses?  Or shoud I be patient and ride this thing out?  What if it takes me a decade to snap out of this?  What if I die in this state of not being a good Muslim?  Please help.