A serious question that I truly need help with.

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   Assalaamaoalaikum Sayyeda. I  think that you should not tell him that. Yes it was wrong to lie to him about it, but you should have not told him about your past, unless you have a disease that will affect him if you all decide to get married. I am happy that you are praying to Allah(SWT) for forgiveness. Ask yourself how long have you being practicing  the islamic decorum? Really pray to Allah and ask HIM if you are ready for marriage now, and if this guy going to be a good husband for you? Sometimes people, hurry to get married after changing their life. I am not saying that marriage is not extremely important; Allah has that when a people marry then they have completed half of their religion. This is a wonderful thing. But I want you to be able to have that single life where you are able to concentrate on getting your life back where it needs to be. And have time getting use to living life like that so you are confident in the choices you make when it comes to choosing what is best for you.  If you are ready for marriage then, Alhamidullah. Just make sure that you when you marry, you are doing it the islamic way. NO talking to him by yourself, etc. Also too, I hope that your family will agree with him as well. If you start off right,. then you will get good results. Sorry, if you did not want this advice because you did not ask me for this opinion. I just want to see muslim sisters being careful when it comes to choosing their future husband. My marriage was arrange and I have been married for 4.5 years, and all of those years  brought much happiness to my life. Alhumdulillah. take care.

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lady Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 20 September 2006 Status: Offline Points: 314	Post Options Post Reply Quote lady Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 24 June 2011 at 7:05am
	Assalaamaoalaikum Sayyeda. I think that you should not tell him that. Yes it was wrong to lie to him about it, but you should have not told him about your past, unless you have a disease that will affect him if you all decide to get married. I am happy that you are praying to Allah(SWT) for forgiveness. Ask yourself how long have you being practicing the islamic decorum? Really pray to Allah and ask HIM if you are ready for marriage now, and if this guy going to be a good husband for you? Sometimes people, hurry to get married after changing their life. I am not saying that marriage is not extremely important; Allah has that when a people marry then they have completed half of their religion. This is a wonderful thing. But I want you to be able to have that single life where you are able to concentrate on getting your life back where it needs to be. And have time getting use to living life like that so you are confident in the choices you make when it comes to choosing what is best for you. If you are ready for marriage then, Alhamidullah. Just make sure that you when you marry, you are doing it the islamic way. NO talking to him by yourself, etc. Also too, I hope that your family will agree with him as well. If you start off right,. then you will get good results. Sorry, if you did not want this advice because you did not ask me for this opinion. I just want to see muslim sisters being careful when it comes to choosing their future husband. My marriage was arrange and I have been married for 4.5 years, and all of those years brought much happiness to my life. Alhumdulillah. take care.

semar Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Male Islam Joined: 11 March 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1830	Post Options Post Reply Quote semar Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 23 June 2011 at 11:38pm
	Salaam, Islam is about now and the future. We don't need talk to much about the past, specially the bad stuff. You don't need to tell everything, specially the bad stuff, many times bad story trigger unnecessary problem during marriage live specially in difficult situation. In case your future spouse ask about that, you can avoud that topic by topic by asking him " is that very important for you?". And start talk about the future. Umar ibn khattab was very-very bad person before Islam, but he was the one of the best human being after Islam.
	Salam/Peace, Semar "We are people who do not eat until we are hungry and do not eat to our fill." (Prophet Muhammad PBUH) "1/3 of your stomach for food, 1/3 for water, 1/3 for air"

sayyeda786 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Female Joined: 23 June 2011 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1	Post Options Post Reply Quote sayyeda786 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 23 June 2011 at 10:10pm
	Salam everyone who reads this, I was born a Muslim and have not practiced as much as I should have until recently. I always knew there was no God but Allah and Muhammad (PBUH) is his messenger. However, I did things in the past which I should not have - the specifics are unnecessary. However, I have been continuously praying and praying to Allah and have truly been asking for forgiveness. I am a much better muslim now, alhumdulilah, and abide by Islamic decorum. I have recently met a man whom I am suppose to wed. We were discussing our pasts and he asked me if I have even been with a man before, in any sense. The answer is yes, but I told him no because I do not want him to know of my past, but see me as pure (which I am in that sense). The only reason I told him no is because I truly asked for forgiveness and believe that Allah has forgiven me for all that I have done in my past. I don't think it is necessary for my soon to be husband to know any of this, but do you think it's wrong that I'm not telling him? I really don't want him to know and changed my ways completely solely for him. I know Allah has forgiven me, and I will continue praying that he does forgive me even further. I just need some advice as to what is the right thing to do. Jazak'Allah for anyone who can provide any insight. I truly appreciate it.