Revert - How to

Salamalaikum,

I have to say there are MANY MANY non-Muslim women who marry Muslim men and convert immediatley after or upon marrige to the guy and they turn out to truly embrace Islam in the best of ways.

But what about your friend, does he mind knowing the only reason shes converting is because of him? If he doesnt, then I would question his intentions also. If he's not that religious then it doesnt matter, but we cant stop anyone from converting, their true intention is with Allah and we must leave it up to God if He accepts their conversion or not. It's not really for us to judge.

Good luck to your friend!

Salamah

Hi

I'd advise you to tell your friend not to convert to islam unless she actually believes in it. I am born muslim myself and I have a friend who is an English revert and married a muslim man approximately five years ago when she was 19. At the begininig everything in her marriage was fine for her and she was happy. She started to pray five times and then she even started to wear the head covering and she would fast in the holy month of ramadan . However I think she failed to understand that being a muslim is not just about wearing a veil and praying. It is about how you lead your entire life. Although her husband was Muslim when she married him he was not fully practising. But gradually he has become more and more islamic. In fact she now finds him too strict. He does not like her working in a non muslim environment, he does not like the clothes she wears (as she wears the head cover..but with jeans etc!?), he absolutely hates the idea of her talking to other men. She cannot understand this behaviour and finds it oppressive. He cannot understand why she does not listen to him and his feelings and love for her have just gone out of the window. This has resulted in her not praying her daily five prayers anymore, abandoning the muslim head dress and going to clubs and pubs with her male friends and leading a life she use to lead before she was muslim. She is actually rather bitter towards islam even though she chose to convert and no body forced her to. I myself after speaking to my friend have come to realise that she converted for the wrong reasons. I do not like people using my religion like the way she has done (basically to satisfy a man) and then abandoning it. Looking back at the situation now both parties feel as though the past five years have been a total waste of time.Therefore I would advise your Christian friend to put the man aside and think about it.....can she live like a Muslim? does she actually believe in this religion ? or is this just somthing she does not mind doing to satisfy this man. I feel its a very serious decision to make and hastiness and emotions could result in disaster.

Assla-mo-alekum to all of you,

sisters so many thanks for giving your opinions on the topic. WEll, i would agree with ANgel that this is not a necessary requirement to marry Christian girl. My only fear is that after marriage (even after observing me practicing Islam fully), if she decides not to revert, then what would be the consequences.

COncequences include long term topics, as in, child reearing, festive manners and behaviour, and much more.

mail2aamir wrote: Assla-mo-alekum to all of you, sisters so many thanks for giving your opinions on the topic. WEll, i would agree with ANgel that this is not a necessary requirement to marry Christian girl. My only fear is that after marriage (even after observing me practicing Islam fully), if she decides not to revert, then what would be the consequences. COncequences include long term topics, as in, child reearing, festive manners and behaviour, and much more.

Dear Bro

I think this is good that at least she has spoken for her relegious feelings rather than mere sentimental ones. This indicate that she has the courage to standby the faith which she considers to be true. Now the ball is in the court of your friend. If your friend has also some religious priorities in his life, then, I am hopefull that the boat of life will not sink but Inshallah be carried to the one right direction. However, if he is not of kind that cares for his religion, then the problem may appear as in the case narrated by Queenie where cultural obsessions start to take priority over everything else. If we look carefully in that narration, it was the man who was getting stingy about her "hijab with Jean" (which is atleast better than no hijab with jeans) and not initiated by the lady. I think, seeing this personality conflict within a muslim man resulted in a unhappy ending of a marriage life in that narration. So, in a nut shell, if your friend likes her beside all her background known to him, then he should rather remain contended with whatever happens during their future journey in life would not be worse, but may have a chance to improve when Allah may guide the girl to Islam. Rest Allah knows the best.