Weddings

Assalamu Alaikum,

Good topic!  I was reading a fatwa one day regarding marriage and came across a question written by a "Christian" woman who was marrying a Muslim man.  I was amazed and the way this woman went on and on about the glories of this wedding day and all she had planned out.  And it didn't stop there, they were planning on a two week honeymoon in the Bahamas as well.  This woman was revealing all of this to the Imam and complaining that her soon to be husband's family was refusing to come to the even.  So much for allowing Muslim men to marry Christian women because the "man" is the head of the family.   It seems that today, most newlyweds start out with a debt big enough to put a siezable downpayment on a house.  There are countless couples getting divorced in the western world who are still in debt for their wedding.  It's utterly crazy!  I know women that have married for the wedding more than for the man they are getting married to.  So sad! 

Inshallah someday I will get married to a pious Muslim and I will be so happy to do it the way the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said.  I actually saw an Islamic wedding dress on line that I would be so happy to wear that day.  It is lovely and costs less than $100.  Also, the only real expense I want spent on my wedding is a dinner so that I can invite the poor to attend.  How better to start a blessed union than to do so by holding fast to the pillars of Islam?

PAZ, Khadija

Clara,

     You are more than welcome to give your opinions. It is beautiful to be "unique". I am referring to the Islam in our generation. The whole purpose of Islam is to accomplish our goals of being sincere to our religion. Yes, the west is influencing the concepts of the Islamic religion. And I am infuriated to see this happening. I do not intend any animosity or disrespect to any other religion.

I strongly emphasize the fact that most Muslims, either living in an Islamic community or not, are not following its� treasures.

When I see a Hindu woman, as an example only, wearing her Sari, Ghagra,  Choli, I am impressed; Or the Sikhs, that won a very long battle with the government to allow  them to wear the turbans because is was sacred to them. I think that it is great to be devoted and loyal to a RELIGION: Too many meanings to explain how pleasing it is to be of a certain religion. And I am thankful for being who I am and what I do or wear to satisfy my God ALLAH (swt).

�Being different is one thing, making a difference is another�

I don't wish to cause disharmony but wanted to point out that different cultures do things differently. What may be alien to one culture may be acceptable in another.

I was disheartened when on a television programme recently I saw that Christian churches have encroached on the beliefs of an ancient tribe in Africa. There was also a tribal woman, her hair braided and bound with earth, wearing beads and traditional dress of her tribe, in a supermarket! It looked bizzarre and made me sad. I was sad because I like the fact that there are people out there in our beautiful and varied world who are so far removed from modern life and that live the same way that they have lived for thousands of years.

We should understand that they have their way of doing things and other people have other customs. It is tempting to tell everyone about your faith/religion/culture because it makes you so happy. If we start saying that the way other people get married is wrong, then we run the risk of being seen as forcing our beliefs on others.

I personally enjoy difference. If we were all the same, our world would not be as full of variety as it is today. Yes it is sad that the cultures are getting diluted and I can see that the West has an effect on the rest of the world. I think the most important thing about a wedding day is that everyone, particularly those getting married has a wonderful day-a day to remember for a long time and that they are in love and honour that love the best they can. Those that disagree or are offended by the clothes of the couple could always not attend. As long as no-one is getting hurt.

There are many interfaith/ interculture weddings where it makes sense to blend the two as best the couple can.

Like I say, I do not wish to offend but wanted to put my point across. I may have opened up a can of worms here or perhaps just a good discussion

Clara

�Western-styled garments are designed primarily to emphasize the shape of the female body and to attract the attention of members of the opposite sex, these immodest apparels are worn by Muslim women who, in anticipation of the opportunity to show themselves off at impending weddings or engagements, start making preparations on a lavish scale by acquiring the more "modern" versions of these abominably styled clothing. What is even more deplorable is the practice of equipping the bride with several of these immodestly designed suits, and subjecting her to a most humiliating display on an elaborately prepared stage after clothing her in an exquisite western wedding gown and obliterating all her natural beauty with cosmetics. And to ensure perfection in the scrupulously observed rituals of the west, the bride is provided with a retinue of bridesmaids, flower-girls and page-boy, with their faces similarly disfigured with the same satanic object of attracting the maximum of lustful stares.�

I have read that in Islam weddings, the groom can hold a Walima (a banquet).

The relatives, neighbors, and friends are invited in order to make them aware of the marriage. Both rich and poor of the family and community are invited to the marriage feasts.