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UmmAminata
Senior Member Joined: 21 October 2006 Status: Offline Points: 227 |
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And to be fair and honest, I recently just worked through a rough patch of my relationship with my husband as we have been struggling with my issues regarding personal advancement economically and educationally. That did put quite a damper on my spirit and make me look at what Islam really teaches about women. Alhamdilal our couneslor is helping us isolate problem areas of our relationship and attack the problem versus each and other. Salaam |
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Mrs. Dia
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USA-NIQAABI
Senior Member Joined: 09 January 2007 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 167 |
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rookaiya
Senior Member Joined: 04 May 2005 Location: South Africa Status: Offline Points: 385 |
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ummAminata, i dont know the nitty gritties of what the root of your problem is, but my advise to u is, let Allah SWT guide u in these troubled times. im very surprised to learn that u are a revert to Islam. i have read many inspirational posts from u in the past. i even once commented and asked what qualifications u hold, cos u were always able to get to the crux of the matter. whether a sister needed help with marital problems, had problem children, polygamy, u name it, but still u had a systematic approach as to how one should tackle the issue. and u even quoted the relevant sources. therefore im now surprised to learn that you are a revert to islam. cos u have vast knowledge and understanding n i have learnt so much about our beautiful religion from u. it would be a great loss if u decide to leave the deen. And Allah knows best. you and your daughter are in my duas. i pray that Allah SWT guides u and helps u find your path to true happiness. AAmeen
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UmmAminata
Senior Member Joined: 21 October 2006 Status: Offline Points: 227 |
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Salaam O Alaikum I'm feeling and doing much better now, alhamdilal! Thank you all for your support, understanding, and prayers. My husband and I had been experencing a rough patch for a couple of months and it just happened out of the blue . We hada very long talk and it turns out his company lost a 2.5 million dollar contract with our local government and the comapny is firing people left and right I had no idea this was going on. I couldn't understand the change in his behaviour. We have a very close relationship, so I didn't understand why he didn't tell me earlier instead of act crazy! LOL . So I'm grateful for the relief! He said he didn't want to alarm me, and make feel insecure about our financial conditions. So alhamdilal, that's over and done with. I know some men can't focus on a relationship if their money/career isn't right. We also talked intensely about relocating out the area. I've spent two years trying to convince him { you know gentlying pushing your husband ) and it's finally worked! Instead of five days in Michigan were going to stay two weeks and try to get set up and than just move. My parents have allot of social connections there so we will have contacts even if they are non Muslim. Just knowing that I'm leaving Virginia for good in sha Allah, brings so much comfort and joy to my heart, I don't know what to do Sisters I am so happy and I sure won't miss this place. I never want to live in high paced millitary area again. I was actually physcially assualted by a solider when I was 38 weeks pregnant. After that incident, I decided that something was going to have to change. I will not miss this place for anything. I personally believe this is a horrible community and a horrible place to live if you care enough about your own deen and that of your family. Thank you all again especially USA Niqabi Mrs. Dia |
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Mrs. Dia
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UmmAminata
Senior Member Joined: 21 October 2006 Status: Offline Points: 227 |
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Salaam O Alaikum Rookiyah You're such a sweet sister I am convert, of seven years now, which isn't a really long time I suppose. I never truly contemplated leaving Islam, however, I did think about disassocating my self from the Muslim community and the practice of Islam and seeking spiritual support from another place for awhile. The truth is Im Muslim to my bones, however, I'm human, and had just felt emotionally spent to the point where I was broke. I can only only tolerate so much negativity and dysfunction and than I just shut down. Alhamdilal, my problems are resolved and I'm just moving on. No one is perfect and I certiantly don't hold my self or others to a standard of perfection either. Based off the horror of dealing with Muslims here and my overal experience as a Muslim, when I relocate, I will implement the emotional, social, and spiritual skills I've learned as a reuslt of my past experiences. I'm only seeking community services for our daughter and subsquent children. I'm no longer seeking social or emotional support from Muslims, the price is too high. Thank you Rookiayh Mrs. Dia |
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Mrs. Dia
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rookaiya
Senior Member Joined: 04 May 2005 Location: South Africa Status: Offline Points: 385 |
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wa alaikum salam mrs Dia im glad that theres relief after difficulty for u. sorry to hear about the incident with the soldier when u were 38 weeks pregnant. Subhanallah! all the best to u and hubby in the futre. may u both proper and may allah SWT shower his blessing upon u. Aameen |
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UmmAminata
Senior Member Joined: 21 October 2006 Status: Offline Points: 227 |
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Ameen
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Mrs. Dia
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Hayfa
Senior Member Female Joined: 07 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2368 |
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I have found that it is important for me, and this is for me, is to not allow other people to affect my moral and inner self. The minute you do you give them too much power!! Islam is such a beautiful, oh, just beautiful. Here is a quote that helps me keep things in perspective. Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you. Dr Dyer
I liken this to making sure that I keep perspective on my life. First is not to �expect� things from people. For often they fail, just like I do. I have really good friends and then general friends. It can be hard to grasp, but no one person can really satisfy us. If we look externally then we are missing the point. So much of what determines our happiness comes from our mind. If someone has a bad day and is rude then so be it. I can let it affect me or not. Now this is not always easy. It is about the discipline of the mind. I also look at it from the other side. Sometimes people expect more from me then I can do or give. I cannot please all people. We are all limited human beings. I can only control myself. I try to take if people can give or help or act in a positive manner that is a gift form Allah. And if not so be it and I can take it as a learning time for me. What can I learn from this situation? I don�t blame you for wanting to leave, especially after the assault. You are taking positive steps to change. I am sorry you were assaulted. The jerk. This is another good quote by Joseph Campbell: We�re so engaged in doing things to achieve purpose of outer value that we forget the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive is what it is all about.�
Be strong and seek to live your life as is given to you by Allah and according to Allah. Take what you can that is good or you like from people and leave t he rest. They can deflect you from your ultimate growth as a Moslem and as a human being. Hayfa |
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When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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