should men ask their wives to marry a second woman

abuayisha wrote: Allah bless you Peace, and please know that the onus is upon claimant, which is why I asked for evidence - I'm here to learn as well.

abuayisha wrote: "I think the writer has tried to convey the Islamic spirit that should prevail prior to practicing polygamy. If that spirit is absent, it is very likey that this practice would be abused."   Yeah I understand, but I think often these writers also seek to somehow justify plural marriage in contemporary times.  Prior to Islam these marriages were common and Islam only limited the number and sought to ensure justice between the wives.  No conditions such as those commonly stated by writers today were mentioned by Allah or His Prophet.  We many times see written that only if the wife could not have children, or widows in times of war, sickness, etc.  As time passes Muslims begin to adopt these writings as if they have textual basis and there are none- at least to my knowledge.

"I think the writer has tried to convey the Islamic spirit that should prevail prior to practicing polygamy. If that spirit is absent, it is very likey that this practice would be abused."

I think the best way for already married women to deal with the "possibility" of sharing their husband with another is not to obsess about it. I think if a wife constantly fears/worries that her husband might do something like that - she is going to lose all her trust, self-confidence and self-esteem.... and when that happens, she is going to worry all the time. This is going to effect her mood, humor, temper, personality and emotional connectivity. If that happens, even if the husband wasn't planning such a thing - he is going to find her less interesting or attractive. So even if he never marries, it still ended up destroying the marriage relations. (this applies to all women in all relationships who may obsess about the possibility of their partner cheating or straying)..not only muslim 2nd marriages)


So Muslimahs should be strong and confident. We can only manage/control things to an extent, beyond that its no longer in our control, so its better not to try and take on burdens that were never meant for us i.e. don't fret about something that you have no control over - and leave the rest to Allah. 

But still... don't be a door-mat and let your husband get away with anything while leaving it to fate - like Abuayisha said, be proactive and make it clear that such an event would make you unhappy. (in a nice way, or humorously perhaps). Sometimes husbands need their wives to step up and show a bit of strength... (right?)