Words not spoken, kisses not delivered!

Category: Faith & Spirituality, Featured, Life & Society Topics: Family Values: Love, Spirituality Views: 15211

There are times when it seems that things are moving so slowly. We want to rush and move on. At other times, we feel like doing something good, but we procrastinate. In fact, time is moving at its pace, usually much faster than sometimes we like or realize. Any of you can look back and try to remember those slow moving moments. But now in reminiscence we see that a good part of our life is already spent. Many of us don't have a whole lot to account for what really have we accomplished for our journey toward the eternal life over those years. 

"I swear by the Time; Indeed, mankind is in loss; except those who believe and do righteous deeds, and enjoin each other to follow the Truth, and enjoin each other to be steadfast."
(Qur'an - Al Asr 103:1-3) 

This is the Qur'anic reality about time and life. Our precious moments of aakhirah (hereafter)-bound life are fleeting by the second, even though we often don't realize.

Furthermore, the notion that there is more time ahead might be no more than an illusion. There might be more time - the next hour, the next day, month or year - or, there may not be, especially for all the good things we want to do and good words that we want to say! Have you heard some sad stories like the following? 

A person had an argument with one of his friends in the evening and felt very bad. He wasn't able to sleep through the night. Next morning, he called his friend to say that he was sorry about the argument, and that he loved him. But the friend was already gone to work. He thought he would call the friend later that day. He did call, only to find out that his friend went to the Post Office that day and was killed in a shooting that took place at the Post Office. The friend passed away. The living friend always regretted that he did not have the time to say that he was sorry and that he loved him. What was unspoken remained unspoken!

The Prophet (s) said: "Value five things before five things: youth before senility, health before illness, solvency before poverty, free time before getting busy, and life before death." (Al-Haakim's Al-Mustadrak: 4-306) 

A father had a rough time with his teen-age son. One day he rebuked his son for his action. In the morning the father woke up late. He wanted to hug his son and tell him that even though he rebuked him last night, he loved him so much. The son woke up early and was gone to school. On the way back from his office, the father bought a present for his son. However, even before he reached his home, he received a call in his car that his son had a terrible traffic accident and died instantly. The father did not have the chance to present the gift or give the hug or a kiss, or say what he wanted to say. What was unspoken remained unspoken!

'A'isha reported that there came a few desert Arabs to Allah's Messenger and said: Do you kiss your children? He said: Yes. Thereupon they said: By Allah but we do not kiss our children. Thereupon Allah's Messenger said: Then what can I do if Allah has deprived you of mercy? (Sahih Muslim, 5735) 

Abu Huraira reported that al-Aqra' b. Habis saw Allah's Apostle kissing Hasan (grandson). He said: I have ten children, but I have never kissed any one of them, whereupon Allah's Messenger said: He who does not show mercy, no mercy would be shown to him. (Sahih Muslim, 5736)

A person felt regret about an action toward his parents. He wanted to seek forgiveness from them and also make repentance before Allah and seek His mercy and forgiveness. He did repent but could not speak to his mother, because she passed away overnight due to a heart attack. What was unspoken remained unspoken!

Narrated Anas ibn Malik: A man was with the Prophet and a man passed by him and said: Apostle of Allah! I love this man. The Apostle of Allah then asked: Have you informed him? He replied: No. He said: Inform him. He then went to him and said: I love you for Allah's sake. He replied: May He for Whose sake you love me love you! (Sunan Abu Dawood, 5106)

The above hadith is about loving someone among the fellow believers. This hadith, of course, is about anyone who is dear and beloved to us, about anyone to whom we feel a special affinity. While saying "I love you" is not a substitute for showing our love and action through our actions and conducts, it is also important that we communicate verbally. Let us not be among the hapless ones who have never said "I love you" to our beloved ones, whether our spouse, parents, children, and fellow believers, of course, if we feel special about someone.

Thus, let our bad thoughts, unworthy deeds, or unkind words wait until tomorrow, while may our good thoughts bloom, good deeds be acted on, regrets expressed and forgiveness sought, unspoken words of kindness and love be said, and undelivered kisses and hugs be rendered, not tomorrow, but today!

Dr. Mohammad Omar Farooq is an associate professor of economics and finance at Upper Iowa University.

Homepage: http://www.globalwebpost.com/farooqm

The author welcomes volunteers who would like to translate this piece into their native language.

Email: [email protected]

  Category: Faith & Spirituality, Featured, Life & Society
  Topics: Family  Values: Love, Spirituality
Views: 15211

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Older Comments:
Thanks alot brother. You have reminded us of dangers of procrastinating in doing what is right. You have also shown the uncertainity and limitation of time. May Allah reward you, and may He guide and protect us all - ameen

If Muslims were to stick to this verse of the Quran in Surah Ankabut Verse 46 is sufficient to interact with the rest of people especially the People of the Book i.e Christians and Jews.
"And argue not with the people of scripture unless it be in good manner except with such of them who do wrong then say( to them)" We believe in that which has been revealed to us and revealed to you Our Ilah (God) and your Ilah (God) is One and to Him we have submitted (as Muslims). That's all.There is no need for any argument which leads to fitnah and unnecessary quarrel ending up in confrontation.We believe in what was revealed to us and what was revealed to you (ie messages of Jesus and Moses Peace be Upon them)(although you dont believe in Muhammad (peace be Upon Him) Yet our God and your God is the same God so what is the argument? Fullstop.

Absolutely good....I love it.

love is the most important fabric that bounds man and his creator. this piece has brought out the islamic bases for the existense of love between man and God, man and his fellow beings and even between man and animals.i love it.

I enjoyed readig this article very much. I appreciate the writer and may Allah (sw) reward him in this life and hereafter.

A thousand thank you for the article. Indeed true love for family, relatives and muslim brothers and sisters is a sign of blessing from Allah. Please pray for me, so Allah almighty showers his blessings on me and grant me the opportunity to love others and be loved.

Salaams.. The article has reminded the indifferent one of the better way of life, and the forgetful one of the existing beauty.
This world is still beautiful, but beauty definitely lies in the eyes of the beholder, so lets join hands to remind one another of the blooming lilies and blue skies. Jazakallah!

Thank you for this article, because my son says it is haram for a son to kiss & hug his mother, or for a mother to hug & kiss her son!! I dont know where he got that, but quite a few say so in Rander, Surat, India.
Please tell me if this is so

Just wanted to express my appreciation for this article! Very refreshing and positive! Thank you.

Yes brother you have reminded most of us which we all know but
tend be out of mind or has got the tendency to do it tomorrow/
lateron. But after reading your beautiful article I have promised to
believe and practise in doing NOW instead later on. May god bless

I think this article is really good and when you start reading it it's really sad and really tells you to do the right thing in life. Who ever wrote this should be very proud because it's really good.

Thank-you I appreciate this article. It denotes the true meaning of Islam.

Thank you for you beutiful article.May Allah bless you. People should see more of Islam, the truth. Inshallah I will send this article to everybody that I know. please send more articles. Allah bless you!!

Basically I am for this article but I do take issue with the afterthought of each of the exampled scenes. The afterthoughts I imagine are in accordance of the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet, Muhammad (SAW) but no afterthought was accorded for the passing of the Mother. Why is this. Are Mothers/Women in general not accorded the same sadness of loss as our fathers,brothers,husbands, and sons?

This is a nice article by umar Farooq.Everybody in this world is need of affection from his/her dear ones,but sometimes is not able to convey the other person about its sentiments which became his/her great regret through out the life-time.So its better to live in today than tomorrow and yesterday.This is my personal request that lets come to the bind the things not to depart them and try to forgive everyone in our life.

may the blessings of Allah be upon dr farooq,for this beautiful article,i love to have a personal contact with him .... plz send more islamic messages to us in nigeria,especially our islamic group,movement for islamic culture&awareness,abuja-nigeria.ma sallam.ramadan kareem

i really like this article it is a great inspiration for little kids

ASA, thank you for bringing us Allahs words, bringing us back to earth remembering the importance of mercy and love. As a muslimah these words are more than helpful. Shukria. Kirsty aka Aabia Asad

A very timely article. We need to show and tell those who mean much to us that we do love them. Ramadan is a perfect time to do just this. Each year I send a small note to each of my friends around the world. Just a small reminder that I love them and send wishes of joy for the new year. For each of my friends and family all hold a special place of the heart and a chance to catch up to the people that mater in life no matter how far away or the time since I have last seen. Now each year my friends look forward to my Ramadan greetings. If they are late I get dozens of worried phone calls, letters, or emails. Proffing that words can be powerful.

I would like to thank the good muslim for taking his time to shed light on this important yet almost neglected aspect of our everyday life.Most relationships- between parent and children,husbands and wives,masters and subordinates turn sour for the absence of the simple expression of love and care in words or by action.So long this has been reported in the prophet's tradition, practicing it against our personal desires or cultures will definitely be the best for us.

- short, sweet and to the subject; it makes you think how many times we miss giving importance to family members of friends and take them for granted. We should indeed consider what we have right now and not focus so many times on what we do not have. Thus only we realize the blessing of Allah.

As-Salaam Alaikum.A wonderful article for me as I approach Ramadan.I try to balance firmness and love,the struggle however is ongoing or ever pressing.But this article is a very good re-enforcement. I wish everyone a blessed Ramadan.

Yes I have heard many like those you relate. However how sad it really is depends on your beliefs of the hereafter. If you have a belief system that dictates only the one life rewarded by heaven or hell then of course you will, at times, be unable to be consoled. If, however, you believe in karma and multiple lifetimes then you will just see it as part of Gos's cycle of learning for each individual. Really, if you analyse death the survivor, on the main, cries for him/herself anyway.

Salaamu Aleykum! This is wonderful article. The Hadith and the Aya of the Holy Qur`an are inspirational, highly beneficial and a reminder.
May ALLAH make us those HE Called ` Qad aflahal Mu`minuun`.

Thanks for taking time to this article which is so urgently needed in
today's society.

May Allah ta'ala bless the author of this article. We need to be reminded to express our love for one another while all are able to hear and benefit from it. This article reminds me of a dream that I had. A few months ago,there was an instance in my life when I was able to call a non-believer to Allah before her death. I had not seen this former colleague in over 20 years. I dreamed of her making Shahada. One evening after making Magrib, this woman arrived at my door unannounced with her son assisting her to walk. She apologized for just dropping in, but stressed that she just had to come see me. As she removed her shoes to enter our home, I saw the years of suffering and pain she'experienced from her illness. The moment that I saw here, I remembered the dream and quickly invited her to have a seat. She was so happy to see me , she talked so fast about how I'd helped so many children and taught so many about God. It was at that momemt that I encouraged her to acnowledge the Oneness of God,being the only one worthy of worship. She agreed and beared witness to Allah being the One God. She accepted a beautiful dress that I wanted to give her. She said that God willing she would wear it to the big dinner event that was coming up the next week. She did not make the dinner, because she died a few days after her visit to see me. I am so grateful to Allah that we'd had the chance to have that visit and conversation. She'd agreed to the Oneness of God, whose name is Allah. I hope, InshaAllah, that it was truly in heart. From the smile on her face before she left my home that evening, she left happier than when she'd arrived. May Allah accept my deeds. May Allah(SWT) reward us for our good deeds and forgive us for our sins. This article is an encouragement to speak and act for the pleasure of Allah(SWT) while we have the opportunity. I pray that our actions are pleasing to Allah (swt) Peace be upon our Prophet. his family and his companions. SubhanaAllah!

Assalamu Alaykum Dr.Mohammad Omar Farooq,

Shookran Jazilan for this article. Our family had a discussion not too long ago about this very topic. We all should act like today is the last day of our life, for we can not know when our last day is, only Allah can know. Allah also know what is in our hearts and monds should so always strive to rid ourselves of ill thoughts.