mom sharing a bed with her kids |
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rookaiya
Senior Member Joined: 04 May 2005 Location: South Africa Status: Offline Points: 385 |
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Posted: 30 January 2007 at 3:05am |
asalamu aliakum i would like to hear objective views on the above topic. i know a sister who is married for the second time. she has a seventeen year old son. each time the sister has a fallout withe her hubby, she moves out of the bed, and sleeps on the floor in the other bedroom. and when this happens, her seventeen year old son sleeps with her in the same bed. her husband is very upset about this. apprarently this is a common practice in this area. in fact some married couples even share a bed with members of their extended familes. they see nothing wrong with this, according to them its an old practice and they are not acting in an unacceptable way secondly, some single moms, may opt to share a bed with their young children. e.g u have a single mom sharing a bed with her 3 year old son. at what age should this practice stop. when does this behaviour become inappropriate? then theres the issue of nudity? being a single mother of boys, at times it hard to know when to draw the line. often at night its so hot and u dont wanna wear too many items of clothing. yet at the same time, u dont wanna expose your children (especially males) to your nudity? is there any ruling on these issues? what is the islamic position here? |
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USA-NIQAABI
Senior Member Joined: 09 January 2007 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 167 |
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Assalamu'Alaikum, Insha'Allah I think the extended family thing would depend. Are you talking about a young child or sister-in-law etc...If it was a female member like your mother-in-law and you were sharing a bed with females or young children out of necessity if you were travelling or whatever the situation was I think that would be fine.....but the husband and other older male members should have their own seperate area to sleep. About your own children...when my boys were very small and I was still nursing them I had a little moses basket/bassinet that I kept in the middle of the bed between my husband and myself so if they fell asleep and it was one of the late...late night feedings I'd just put them to sleep in their little bassinet on the bed....also it was large enough so I didnt' worry about the rolling issue during sleep.... I have older boys and when we travel we often end up sharing a large bed...I have no issues with it but I would also not dress in less than pajamas with top and pant bottoms or house jilbab with full pant bottoms.... I think that if it's a temporary issue due to travels or maybe the child is ill and you want to watch them thru the night it's fine. But once they are weened they should sleep in their own bed or you and your husband need to find another area to have intimate realations to avoid the children from waking and viewing this type of activity. Or if you are living in a one room flat to hang a curtain across part of the room so that the children would not see. Edited by USA-NIQAABI |
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USA-NIQAABI
Senior Member Joined: 09 January 2007 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 167 |
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Assalamu'Alaikum, I forgot but in my last post I used the term "you" meaning in general to all muslimahs...I didn't want you to think I misread your posting as it was relating to your friends situation....Insha'Allah |
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amah
Moderator Group Female Joined: 18 March 2006 Status: Offline Points: 1334 |
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Bismillahirrahmanirraheem Assalaamualaikum The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: �Teach your children to pray when they are seven years old and smack them if they do not do so when they are ten years old, and separate them in their beds.� Narrated by Ahmad, 6689; Abu Dawood, 495; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani. wassalaam |
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Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
(Surah An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #45) |
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UmmTaaha
Senior Member Joined: 10 August 2006 Location: Japan Status: Offline Points: 159 |
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Assalamualaikum Rookaiya, Insha allah you are able to see things through. Though there is no problem in sharing a bed with a grown up son, when all other prorprieties are taken care of, but there is always a message of hikmah within all the hadith from our beloved prophet (saw) - in ref, to Amah's post. If there is no necessity a mother should not share beds with her grown up children. Especially she should regard what is annoying her husband, and try to make efforts to please him.
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Adab with Allah is the proper fruit of obedience - Habib Ali Jifri
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rookaiya
Senior Member Joined: 04 May 2005 Location: South Africa Status: Offline Points: 385 |
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thanks for all the replies. i will convey the message to the sister.
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Hayfa
Senior Member Female Joined: 07 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2368 |
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Neither should a father sleep with his grown-up daughters.. |
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When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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rookaiya
Senior Member Joined: 04 May 2005 Location: South Africa Status: Offline Points: 385 |
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definately hafya i agree. in some households the father helps around with chores and ive come across people who allow the fathers to bath thier daughters. to me this is unaccpetable. i know of a father who used to bath his 4 year old daughter, in an effort to help his wife. but when his mom learnt of this, she put an end to it, cos she felt it was rather inappropriate. mothers on the other can should and can give their sons a bath. but up till what age? when does it become inappropriate for a mother to bath her son?
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