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Female Circumcision

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Angela View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Angela Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 February 2008 at 2:01am
Israfil,

To offer proof (which you never seem to accept) that men are more likely to cheat...  here's some US statistics

http://www.menstuff.org/issues/byissue/infidelitystats.html

What Do Infidelity Statistics Mean?


Recent studies reveal that 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship (Atwood & Schwartz, 2002 - Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy)

Do these infidelity statistics seem a bit startling?... Or, Perhaps Not!

Basically, what these findings suggest is that approximately one half of all married men and women seek intimacy outside of their committed relationships.

But what does this really mean? Why are the number of men and women having extramarital affairs so high? I'll tell you - these staggeringly high infidelity figures mean that something is really lacking in their marriages to lead them to look else where.

Lacking... So is it Sex? Or something else?

This may come as a complete surprise, but most extramarital affairs are NOT about sex! If not sex, then what? Pay attention - the reason most people find intimacy with someone outside of their marriage is because their emotional needs are not being met. Yes, it's true! Most cases of infidelity are about wanting to feel emotionally connected to someone.

I realize that what I am suggesting may not be particularly popular, especially among men and women who are on the receiving end of infidelity. Clearly, finding out that your spouse or partner has cheated on you is both shocking and painful. Realizing that you are just another infidelity statistic is not something one is wants to flaunt.

The reality is that there are a lot of unsatisfying and empty relationships out there. However, the reason why infidelity statistics are as high as they are is because people place a higher value on their careers, children, friends or hobbies and not on their relationships with their partners. Think about it - if you neglect any of these others, certainly they would falter and fail. Is it not surprising that your relationship would likewise fail?

The bottom line is - if you want to avoid becoming yet another infidelity statistic, then you must nurture and prioritize your relationship with your spouse or partner. As you may have already figured out, just like planes, relationships cannot be maintained on "auto-pilot" indefinately.




Edited by Angela
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peacemaker View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote peacemaker Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 February 2008 at 10:57am

Assalamu Alaikum,

It seems the link I posted in my last post is not working. Therefore, I am posting again.

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=10&ID=1702& ; ;CATE=89

May Allah guide us all.

Peace



Edited by peacemaker
Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
Qur'an 55:13
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Nur_Ilahi View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Nur_Ilahi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 February 2008 at 7:46pm
Originally posted by Israfil Israfil wrote:

She ilves in a patriarchal society where men's might is right. She will not see it that way. Even if she is coming from a perspective of a woman

I thought I only wanted to take a peep today, but seeing this, wow! how could I just leave this alone?

Well in this era of globalisation, my dear Israfil, what you stated above is not only wrong, but full of ignorance. Perhaps it applies to uneducated women wherever they are.

The reason why men cheat is because humankind do not follow the command of God AlMighty, that is men were not given their right. Like it or not Allah had given permission for men to have four wives but with conditions attached of course. If they satisfy these conditions, cheating and fornication I believe will be much much less.

(I am sure I am poking a hornet's nest )

Ilahi Anta Maksudi, Wa Redhaka Mathlubi - Oh Allah, You are my destination, Your Pleasure is my Intention.
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Hayfa View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hayfa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 February 2008 at 1:16pm

Nur,

You may have a pint, but it is not completely the totally answer. It may be one aspect of it. But let's face it, not many men can fulfill those conditions. You have the economic aspect alone will eliminate many men. Then you have the treating equally.. half the men cannot handle being resonsible for one wife, let alone more.

Although one could say that if men had more then one wife, the'y be too busy to do much more with the responsibilites that entails.. lol

And really again, it still is about self-control, respect, fear of Allah etc.  Can we gibve men a pass for "cheating" because the laws of that country are different they cannot exercise this option?

That is like saying that I have he option to take karate with men for the past 16 years (co-ed school.) I've never slept with anyone. I have the access. But I also have strobger moral codes. So I don't give men a "pass" cause some men cannot sleep around. (I don't agree with the anti-pologamy laws in the US. But if we we repeal that law all others will change. Watch the pepple petitioning for one woman and two husbands.. lol

And Nur, I know nothing about Singapore except its one of t he most expensive places to live in the world and you have alot of stores. lol

 

 

 

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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Israfil View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Israfil Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 February 2008 at 5:21pm

Angela give me a break!

 this thread is not about who cheats more its about making blanket statements without proof, quite the same with Nur who has made a statement about the libido based on her own cultural experiences. She lacks scientific evidence as well as Islamic evidence. It is already understood that clipping the the clitoris does not necessitate a reduction in the libido nor does it mean it will decrease sexual drive (in the sense that one will have more sexual partners). Having an enlarged clitoris does not mean one will have more sex or have the urge to commit haram acts. Any community regardless of geographical location is backwards in my opinion if they teach their people this kind of nonesense.

Who is to decide whether a certain size of the clitoris means she hs to circumcize herself male scholars? Human beings need to come down from the trees and actually pick up a book. I'm getting frustrated in repeating myself.

Well in this era of globalisation, my dear Israfil, what you stated above is not only wrong, but full of ignorance. Perhaps it applies to uneducated women wherever they are.

Nur your post is an example of male dominance......

The reason why men cheat is because humankind do not follow the command of God AlMighty.

This is nonsensical garb.

Men and women cheat for a variety of reasons. If you took the religious view yes men and women cheat because they don't heed the commands of God but this is not a valid explanation. What about people with exhibitionism who in fact are diagnosed with a disorder who are compelled (quite different than voluntarily acting) to have sex with multiple people? Are people with mental disorders sinful because they don't listen?

Like it or not Allah had given permission for men to have four wives but with conditions attached of course. If they satisfy these conditions, cheating and fornication I believe will be much much less.

What does this have to do with the cliping of the clitoris? Again this discussion is not about cheating its about an idiotic practice that has no medical merit? It's one thing to circumcize the male (because men are born with foreskin who, if left unkept can become very unhygenic) but another to clip the female because her clitoris is enlarge its a dumb reason I'm sorry. I would be damned if some Sheikh or scholar said her behavior of having multiple partners is the result of her enlarged clitoris....Come on people wake up

EDIT*****

So as to not sound mean this is not directed at anyone here in particular but those groups that endorse bad medical practice that has no merit in religious medicine

 



Edited by Israfil
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Nur_Ilahi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 February 2008 at 6:48am

Israfil, whatever you said, it would not have any difference at all.

This practice is dated way back I guess even before Muhammad's time. It is even in the books of Sunnah even if it is a weak one.

This is very common in our community especially for Muslims in South East Asia. At least with this topic, I had given you people a some new knowledge is it not.

Right. We leave it as it is and let start with a new thread - why men cheat.

See u there. Salam.

Ilahi Anta Maksudi, Wa Redhaka Mathlubi - Oh Allah, You are my destination, Your Pleasure is my Intention.
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Israfil View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Israfil Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 February 2008 at 9:27am
(Bangs his head on keyboard)
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Angela View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Angela Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 February 2008 at 5:09am
Originally posted by Israfil Israfil wrote:

Angela give me a break!

 this thread is not about who cheats more its about making blanket statements without proof



You asked for proof....you got it.  I'm just showing that a statement can be made that is generally known to be true that doesn't always require one to show "proof".

Generally, I can say that lemons are sour, asprin is bitter and peaches are sweet.  Does that mean I have to post the data every time.

The issue here is that proof after proof after proof has been given that the clitoris has nothing to do with libido.  Yet, the poster can't get it.  Its a cultural thing that has no medical fact. 

Religious tradition or not, there is ABSOLUTELY NO MEDICAL OR SOCIAL BENEFIT to trimming the clitoris.  Whereas, there is lots of scientific data to support a medical benefit to male circumcision to reduce infection and disease.

You need to stop being hypersensitive.  You're worse than a woman.
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