Ceaseless talks about the increase in electricity prices in the Northwest United States and California got me worried. My fears intensified as I grabbed my latest electric bill and carefully opened it to learn that this month's increase was 50 dollars.

Of course I wasn't happy, but I was somewhat relieved. So what if I pay extra 50 dollars as long as my two daughters stay warm this winter season? I hurried to my checkbook and paid the bill without a second thought.

That same day I read a recent a statement made by a spokesman for the World Food Program in Geneva, Christiane Berthiaume describing the condition of thousands of Afghanis living in six refugee camps in the western Herat province.

"The 80,000 people at Heart are living in deplorable conditions with no protection from the cold," she said. In two days, between Jan 29-31, 480 people froze to death as severe lack of food, tents and blankets left the few doctors at the camp with no choice but to constantly amputate limps of helpless men, women and children.

Erik De Mul, the UN humanitarian coordinator told reporters in Islamabad, Pakistan while narrating the misery of the Afghani people in general, " this situation is desperate. Most Afghans have lost everything. They have hit rock bottom, totally destitute."

In addition to Herat's refugees there are some 155,000 new refugees who escaped to Pakistan, and many more are stranded in various parts of the country, mainly on the Afghani northern border with Tajikistan. They are aimlessly seeking refuge from a war that wouldn't end for 20 years, and a drought that is said to be the worst in 30 years.

I was ready to find someone to blame.

The Russians are to blame. After all they were the ones who started this wicked war when they ravished the country following their invasion in 1979. They killed 1.8 million Afghanis, and left one million orphans, over half a million maimed, and nearly 300,000 widowed.

But the Russians left the country, and the war continued. The Afghani wound never ceased on bleeding as a civil war replaced the Mujahideen war for liberation. Death and despair became the daily routine in a country that was in an urgent need for hope, food and medicine.

Now that the Russians are out, the Afghanis no longer became the noble worriers that the United States once aided. They are now perceived as ruthless savages as the American propaganda machine continues to churn out images of "extremists" who harbor "terrorists".

In recent months, the former Cold War enemies, the US and Russia announced that they are "working together" to impose additional UN sanctions on the already desperate nation. The close cooperation between the two has in fact proved successful as new sanctions were introduced and approved by the UN this past January. Thanks to the US's hunt for Osama bin Laden, another nation shall bear the burden of the US's blind and inhumane foreign policy.

While the Untied States and its faithful allies are easily mobilized to declare a war or an embargo on poor nations, they are abhorrently cheap when humanitarian help is needed to aid those nations. Only 3.5 million dollars are needed to supply Herat's refugee camps with its basic supplies so that innocent and defenseless people will not freeze to death. For months, after the World Food Program issued its warning, only 200,000 dollars were promised and still are yet to be delivered.

So whose to blame, the Russians, the warring Afghani factions, the indifferent Muslim nations, the Untied States, the UN sanctions Or maybe all of the above?

I finished reading the UN report and came to a decision to blame everyone for the Afghani tragedy. But as I sat the report aside and got ready to leave the room, I glanced at my check for my electricity bill this month as it sat on the table ready to be delivered. An unexpected question jumped into my mind: how many lives in Heart's refugee camps or elsewhere in Afghanistan can this money save? How many limbs can it prevent from being amputated? How many Afghani children will live through this cold winter season to tell his children how cold this year's winter was?

I tried to escape my feelings of shame as my hand found its way quickly to my credit card. I sat on my desk browsing the internet for charity organizations that extend services to Afghanistan.

As I punched my numbers in, one resolved thought occupied my mind; before I blame anyone, I should blame myself.

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Ramzy Baroud is a freelance writer living in Seattle, Washington and a regular columnist for iviews.com.