Why (and how) women cheat?

 Auzubillahi minash shaitan ir rajeem,

Bismillah ir rahman ir rahim,

So far we have understood from Zaman, that he accepts that a man commiting adultery is in sin ... there are several hadith to that but what he wants to see, is if that sin also amounts to cheating his wife or not.  I do not know a direct hadith, I try to respond to two of his posts to me.

Zaman,

First off, when a man marries more than one wife, there is no question about cheating. He does not have to obey his wife for not marrying etc, nor does he have to obey any of his wives, in loving them equally.

The subject you have brought is that of illegal relationship - a relationship that islam does not recognise as dignified or pure.

Please be informed, i am not saying a man cannot marry more than once if he wishes to ... like the western societies so vehemently scream about. My concern is his illegal relationship, not a legal marriage with another woman.

You said: 

Yes, I agree, a man cheats his family if he does not give all of the available time he has, to his family,...

 One, his family consist of his wife.

Two, when he has an affair outside marriage,  he gives his time to that affair, which he should have otherwise given to his wife and children.  

You answered the definition of cheating by comparing it with disobedience.

Not obeying someone is not always cheating, thus the two cannot be compared. If your parents asked u to run an errand and u did not, just because u were lazy, or you forgot, does not mean you cheated them. you simply disobeyed them.

It is true that a man is not obliged to be obedient to his wife, however he is obliged to be loyal, truthful, and trustworthy in his relationship with her.  On the contraty when he engages in a relationship outside marriage, he breaks that bond of trust and loyalty.

A woman is legally allowed to take divorce on these grounds - and there is no blame on her, given the fact that her husband had been cheating, and is not of an upright character.

Whatever you have said with regards to a woman's duty in marriage, there is no denying those facts, I am not disputing that subjetct with you.

Maa salaama,

Nausheen

Nausheen wrote: Auzubillahi minash shaitan ir rajeem, Bismillah ir rahman ir rahim, Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullah, Zaman, please define cheating. It seems if person A is obviously and materially harmed by another (B), where A and B are locked in a situation when they are not supposed to do this, only then you call it cheating. If the actions do not bring any obvious material harm, then for you it is not cheating. Is this so?  If a man is having sex in any relationship other than a legal marriage, he is cheating his own soul even if he does not believe to have cheated his wedded wife! - because he committed adultery, thus followed his nafs and corrupted his soul. Marriage is a commitment, and that commitment entails one not to commit infedility. When a man engages himself in a relationship which he is not supposed to engaged in, he commits infedility to the one who is in an intimate legal relationship with him ie his wife.  Not only this, if there are children from his marriage, he is even cheating his children, if he spends his time and attention outside the household in a haram setup. If a man gambles, or spends his money in any other illegal way, that deprive his wife and kids, even that is cheating, then how come, spending his emotions, his attention, and his time in an illegal way, that deprive his wife and kids of these benefits will not be cheating? Maa salaama, Nausheen

I know,a man must give equal attention to all his wives, otherwise, he is neglecting some of them.

But duties of woman to her husband include obeying him. Duties of husband is essentially to fullfil her materialistic needs. (This I believe to be natural human trait because this was practised,  in all the human societies, including the islamic ones). And it is possible for man to protect more than one woman, but not for woman to follow more than one man at the same time. That is the reason, I believe that man doesn't cheat his wife by having sex outside marriage, he cheats another man, though. That was the norm followed in all the societies of the world before modern western ideas were accepted.

Also, I am not absolving or defending the man who has sex outside marriage. I am only opposing this particular western (and non-islamic) concept that is increasingly being accepted by the Muslims.