Why (and how) women cheat? |
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ZamanH
Guest Group Joined: 21 July 2004 Location: India Status: Offline Points: 448 |
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Sure, I will be grateful. i will answer Nausheen, after you show me the hadith. Edited by ZamanH |
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An enemy of an enemy is a fickle friend.
There will be more women in hell than men. ..for persecution is worse than the slaughter of the enemy..(Quran 2:191) Heaven lies under mother's feet |
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ZamanH
Guest Group Joined: 21 July 2004 Location: India Status: Offline Points: 448 |
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I know,a man must give equal attention to all his wives, otherwise, he is neglecting some of them. But duties of woman to her husband include obeying him. Duties of
husband is essentially to fullfil her materialistic needs. (This I
believe to be natural human trait because this was practised, in
all the human societies, including the islamic ones). And it is
possible for man to protect more than one woman, but not for woman to
follow more than one man at the same time. That is the reason, I
believe that man doesn't cheat his wife by having sex outside marriage,
he cheats another man, though. That was the norm followed in all the
societies of the world before modern western ideas were accepted. Also, I am not absolving or defending the man who has sex outside
marriage. I am only opposing this particular western (and non-islamic)
concept that is increasingly being accepted by the Muslims. Edited by ZamanH |
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An enemy of an enemy is a fickle friend.
There will be more women in hell than men. ..for persecution is worse than the slaughter of the enemy..(Quran 2:191) Heaven lies under mother's feet |
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firewall
Senior Member Joined: 06 November 2004 Location: Malaysia Status: Offline Points: 215 |
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adultery is forbidden (haram), be it for man or woman.
Edited by firewall |
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Israfil
Senior Member Joined: 08 September 2003 Status: Offline Points: 3984 |
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Well somebody beat me to it, but of course Zaman wants the Hadith regarding the bringing of another woman to the house of the man and whether or not its considered cheating. Obviously again he will not respond to me, perhap shaving met his match I don't know but its freggin common sense bro. Unless you cannot comprehend the concept of having an extra-marital affair. BTW the concept of having an extra-marital affair is not a western idea. Only an idiot (not including you) with a small wee pee brain would think that. In fact, many prmitive human socities had the one man one woman base. Of course there are tribes whose family is of polagamy, but a lot of times these are considered cheiftains or those who have authority prior to Bedouin culture. There are also some matriarchal societies where the woman is the "bread winner." Bro, like I told you in the AIDs forum test your hypothesis out and ask the woman you marry if what you're doing is right. I believe Zaman is just playing devil's advocate I don't believe you are that dumb to believe what you say.
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ZamanH
Guest Group Joined: 21 July 2004 Location: India Status: Offline Points: 448 |
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I never denied that. I believe he cheats another man, but not his wife. I don't understand, exactly what you meant by your question. But I hope that you get the answers from the following.
I believe, man betrays his family, as gravely, as a woman who betrays
her husband by having sex outside marriage, if he refuses to protect it,
simply, because he fears for his own life; or, by indulging in
wantonness to the point that he totally neglects his wives and
children. Similarly, a woman does not betray her husband, if she
refuses to protect him if that puts her own life in danger (I
think).
Edited by ZamanH |
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An enemy of an enemy is a fickle friend.
There will be more women in hell than men. ..for persecution is worse than the slaughter of the enemy..(Quran 2:191) Heaven lies under mother's feet |
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Nausheen
Moderator Group Female Joined: 10 January 2001 Status: Offline Points: 4251 |
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Auzubillahi minash shaitan ir rajeem, Bismillah ir rahman ir rahim, So far we have understood from Zaman, that he accepts that a man commiting adultery is in sin ... there are several hadith to that but what he wants to see, is if that sin also amounts to cheating his wife or not. I do not know a direct hadith, I try to respond to two of his posts to me. Zaman, First off, when a man marries more than one wife, there is no question about cheating. He does not have to obey his wife for not marrying etc, nor does he have to obey any of his wives, in loving them equally. The subject you have brought is that of illegal relationship - a relationship that islam does not recognise as dignified or pure. Please be informed, i am not saying a man cannot marry more than once if he wishes to ... like the western societies so vehemently scream about. My concern is his illegal relationship, not a legal marriage with another woman. You said:
One, his family consist of his wife. Two, when he has an affair outside marriage, he gives his time to that affair, which he should have otherwise given to his wife and children. You answered the definition of cheating by comparing it with disobedience. Not obeying someone is not always cheating, thus the two cannot be compared. If your parents asked u to run an errand and u did not, just because u were lazy, or you forgot, does not mean you cheated them. you simply disobeyed them. It is true that a man is not obliged to be obedient to his wife, however he is obliged to be loyal, truthful, and trustworthy in his relationship with her. On the contraty when he engages in a relationship outside marriage, he breaks that bond of trust and loyalty. A woman is legally allowed to take divorce on these grounds - and there is no blame on her, given the fact that her husband had been cheating, and is not of an upright character. Whatever you have said with regards to a woman's duty in marriage, there is no denying those facts, I am not disputing that subjetct with you. Maa salaama, Nausheen |
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<font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa
Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.[/COLOR] |
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ZamanH
Guest Group Joined: 21 July 2004 Location: India Status: Offline Points: 448 |
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I consider going back on what you promised to be cheating. It depends on what you promised. Since, its the duty of the wife to obey her husband, I consider that she promises to be obedient to him. Husband and wife can betray each other in various ways, (not just by adultery as you believe). For example, if a wife is extravagant and insincere with her husband's money she is cheating him then, too. Husband is also cheating her if he is miserly with her. My point is, all the betrayals are not equivalent. The betrayal of husband that can be considered equivalent to the betrayal of woman who has intercourse outside marriage, is his refusal to protect his wife, simply because he fears for his life, or, his indulges in wantoness to such an extent that he totally ignores his family. He does betrays his wife when he has intercourse outside marraige, but that is not equivalent to (it is actually much less serious) than betrayal of women to her husband when she indulges in sex outside marriage. Just as their duties to each other are complementary, the ways in which they can betray each other (i.e not performing their duties to each other) are also complementary. Edited by ZamanH |
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An enemy of an enemy is a fickle friend.
There will be more women in hell than men. ..for persecution is worse than the slaughter of the enemy..(Quran 2:191) Heaven lies under mother's feet |
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ZEA J
Senior Member Joined: 01 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 224 |
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how old are you ZamanH?
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"You will never attain piety and righteousness,(and eventually paradise)until you
spend of that which you love."(Al-Imran:92) |
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