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Jami at-Tirmidhi 3307 (Book 47, Hadith 359) #28956
Prohibiting Wailing for the Dead

SUMMARY: This hadith is about the prohibition of wailing for the dead as it is against Allah's command and disobeying Him.

Shahr bin Hawshab said: "Umm Salamah Al-Ansariyyah narrated to us, she said: 'A woman said: "What is this Ma’ruf for which we are not to disobey in?" He (pbuh) said: "That you not wail." I said: "O Messenger of Allah! Verily Banu so-and-so comforted me in the case of my uncle, and I must reciprocate for them.’ But he refused to allow me. So I asked him again numerous times, then he permitted me to reciprocate for them. So after reciprocating for the, I did not wail for anyone else until this time. And there does not remain a woman except that she has wailed besides me.’"
حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ بْنُ حُمَيْدٍ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو نُعَيْمٍ، حَدَّثَنَا يَزِيدُ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ الشَّيْبَانِيُّ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ شَهْرَ بْنَ حَوْشَبٍ، قَالَ حَدَّثَتْنَا أُمُّ سَلَمَةَ الأَنْصَارِيَّةُ، قَالَتْ قَالَتِ امْرَأَةٌ مِنَ النِّسْوَةِ مَا هَذَا الْمَعْرُوفُ الَّذِي لاَ يَنْبَغِي لَنَا أَنْ نَعْصِيَكَ فِيهِ قَالَ ‏ "‏ لاَ تَنُحْنَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنَّ بَنِي فُلاَنٍ قَدْ أَسْعَدُونِي عَلَى عَمِّي وَلاَ بُدَّ لِي مِنْ قَضَائِهِنَّ فَأَبَى عَلَىَّ فَعَاتَبْتُهُ مِرَارًا فَأَذِنَ لِي فِي قَضَائِهِنَّ فَلَمْ أَنُحْ بَعْدُ عَلَى قَضَائِهِنَّ وَلاَ غَيْرِهِ حَتَّى السَّاعَةِ وَلَمْ يَبْقَ مِنَ النِّسْوَةِ امْرَأَةٌ إِلاَّ وَقَدْ نَاحَتْ غَيْرِي ‏.‏ قَالَ أَبُو عِيسَى هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ غَرِيبٌ ‏.‏ وَفِيهِ عَنْ أُمِّ عَطِيَّةَ رضى الله عنها ‏.‏ قَالَ عَبْدُ بْنُ حُمَيْدٍ أُمُّ سَلَمَةَ الأَنْصَارِيَّةُ هِيَ أَسْمَاءُ بِنْتُ يَزِيدَ بْنِ السَّكَنِ

TOPICS
wail  *  disobey  *  reciprocate  *  lahw  *  maruf

QUICK LESSONS:
Obey what God commands
EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith speaks about how one should not wail for the dead as it goes against Allah's commandment. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was asked by a woman if there was any maruf that they should not disobey in, to which he replied that they should not wail. He further explained that whoever does so will be disobeying Allah and His Messenger. This hadith teaches us to obey what Allah commands us to do even if we don't understand why He has commanded us to do so at first glance. It also teaches us to be patient when faced with difficult situations such as death of a loved one, instead of resorting to activities such as wailing which are prohibited in Islam.

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