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Sunan an-Nasai 3409 (Book 27, Hadith 21) #18021
The Sweetness of Marriage

SUMMARY: A woman was married to Rifa'ah Al-Qurazi and he divorced her, so she married 'Abdur-Rahman bin Az-Zabir. Khalid bin Sa'eed did not let him in when the woman was speaking to the Prophet. Abu Bakr advised her not to go back to Rifa'ah until they both tasted each other's sweetness.

It was narrated that 'Aishah said: "The wife of Rifa'ah Al-Qurazi came to the Prophet when Abu Bakr was with him, and she said: 'O Messenger of Allah! I was married to Rifa'ah Al-Qurazi and he divorced me, and made it irrevocable. Then I married 'Abdur-Rahman bin Az-Zabir, and by Allah, O Messenger of Allah, what he has is like this fringe;' and she held up a fringe of her Jilbab. Khalid bin Sa'eed was at the door and he did not let him in. He said: 'O Abu Bakr? Do you not hear this woman speaking in such an audacious manner in the presence of the Messenger of Allah?' He said: 'Do you want to go back to Rifa'ah? No, not until you taste his sweetness and he tastes your sweetness'."
أَخْبَرَنَا عَمْرُو بْنُ عَلِيٍّ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا يَزِيدُ بْنُ زُرَيْعٍ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا مَعْمَرٌ، عَنِ الزُّهْرِيِّ، عَنْ عُرْوَةَ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، قَالَتْ جَاءَتِ امْرَأَةُ رِفَاعَةَ الْقُرَظِيِّ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ وَأَبُو بَكْرٍ عِنْدَهُ فَقَالَتْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنِّي كُنْتُ تَحْتَ رِفَاعَةَ الْقُرَظِيِّ فَطَلَّقَنِي الْبَتَّةَ فَتَزَوَّجْتُ عَبْدَ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنَ الزَّبِيرِ وَأَنَّهُ وَاللَّهِ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ مَا مَعَهُ إِلاَّ مِثْلَ هَذِهِ الْهُدْبَةِ وَأَخَذَتْ هُدْبَةً مِنْ جِلْبَابِهَا وَخَالِدُ بْنُ سَعِيدٍ بِالْبَابِ فَلَمْ يُأْذَنْ لَهُ فَقَالَ يَا أَبَا بَكْرٍ أَلاَ تَسْمَعُ هَذِهِ تَجْهَرُ بِمَا تَجْهَرُ بِهِ عِنْدَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ‏.‏ فَقَالَ ‏ "‏ تُرِيدِينَ أَنْ تَرْجِعِي إِلَى رِفَاعَةَ لاَ حَتَّى تَذُوقِي عُسَيْلَتَهُ وَيَذُوقَ عُسَيْلَتَكِ

TOPICS
marriage  *  divorce  *  taste  *  nikah  *  talak  *  dakhal

QUICK LESSONS:
Take time out for one another before making any decisions regarding marriage or divorce; Respectfully communicate with your partner; Appreciate your partner's perspective on a situation; Make sure you understand each other before taking any action; Consider your partner's feelings before taking any action related to marriage or divorce .

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith speaks about marriage and divorce, and how it is important for couples to appreciate each other’s sweetness before making any decisions about their relationship. The wife of Rifa'ah Al-Qurazi came to the Prophet when Abu Bakr was with him, and she said that her husband had divorced her irrevocably. She then married 'Abdur-Rahman bin Az-Zabir but Khalid bin Sa'eed did not let him in as he thought she was speaking too audaciously in front of the Prophet. Abu Bakr then advised her not to go back to Rifa'ah until they both tasted each other's sweetness, which implies that couples should take time out for one another before making any decisions regarding their marriage or divorce. This hadith teaches us that relationships should be based on mutual understanding and appreciation rather than rash decisions made without considering one another’s feelings or perspectives on a situation.

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