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Sahih Muslim 1433a (Book 16, Hadith 128) #10663
Marriage Advice from the Prophet

SUMMARY: A woman was married to two men, one of whom she wanted to return to due to his strength and the other's weakness. The Prophet advised her that she should not return until both had tasted each other's sweetness.

'A'isha (Allah he pleased with her) reported: There came the wife of Rifa'a to Allah's Apostle and said: I was married to Rifa'a but he divorced me, making may divorce irrevocable. Afterwards I married Abd al-Rahman b. al-Zubair, but all he possesses is like the fringe of a garment (i. e. he is sexually weak). Thereupon Allah's Messenger smiled, and said: Do you wish to return to Rifa'a. (You) cannot (do it) until you have tasted his sweetness and he ('Abd al-Rahman) has tasted your sweetness. Abu Bakr was at that time near him (the Holy Prophet) and Khalid (b. Sa'id) was at the door waiting for the permission to be granted to him to enter), He (Khalid) said; Abu Bakr, do you hear what she is saying loudly in the presence of Allah's Messenger ?
حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، وَعَمْرٌو النَّاقِدُ، - وَاللَّفْظُ لِعَمْرٍو - قَالاَ حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ، عَنِ الزُّهْرِيِّ، عَنْ عُرْوَةَ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، قَالَتْ جَاءَتِ امْرَأَةُ رِفَاعَةَ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ فَقَالَتْ كُنْتُ عِنْدَ رِفَاعَةَ فَطَلَّقَنِي فَبَتَّ طَلاَقِي فَتَزَوَّجْتُ عَبْدَ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنَ الزَّبِيرِ وَإِنَّ مَا مَعَهُ مِثْلُ هُدْبَةِ الثَّوْبِ فَتَبَسَّمَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ فَقَالَ ‏ "‏ أَتُرِيدِينَ أَنْ تَرْجِعِي إِلَى رِفَاعَةَ لاَ حَتَّى تَذُوقِي عُسَيْلَتَهُ وَيَذُوقَ عُسَيْلَتَكِ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَتْ وَأَبُو بَكْرٍ عِنْدَهُ وَخَالِدٌ بِالْبَابِ يَنْتَظِرُ أَنْ يُؤْذَنَ لَهُ فَنَادَى يَا أَبَا بَكْرٍ أَلاَ تَسْمَعُ هَذِهِ مَا تَجْهَرُ بِهِ عِنْدَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ

TOPICS
marriage  *  divorce  *  sweetness  *  strength  *  zawaj  *  talaq  *  lazza  *  quwwa

QUICK LESSONS:
Be patient when dealing with difficult situations in life and relationships; Take time getting used to each other before making major decisions; Respectful relationships; Show understanding towards others; Have compassion towards others; Follow advice from the Prophet (ﷺ) .

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith is about marriage and divorce advice given by the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. In this hadith, a woman came to him asking for advice on whether or not she should go back to her first husband who divorced her after their marriage. The Prophet ﷺ advised that she should not go back until both of them have tasted each other’s sweetness. This means that they should get married again and experience being together before making any decisions about staying together or divorcing again. This teaches us that it is important for couples in a marriage relationship to take time getting used to each other before making any major decisions about their relationship such as divorce or separation. It also teaches us that we must be patient when dealing with difficult situations in our lives and relationships as it may take some time before we can find a solution or make a decision on what is best for us in the long run.

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