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Sahih al-Bukhari 5122 (Book 67, Hadith 58) #4904
The Marriage of Hafsa bint 'Umar

SUMMARY: This hadith is about how Umar bin Al-Khattab offered his daughter Hafsa to Uthman bin 'Affan and Abu Bakr As-Siddique, but they both declined because they knew that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) was interested in her.

Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Umar: 'Umar bin Al-Khattab said, "When Hafsa bint 'Umar became a widow after the death of (her husband) ____Khunays____ ibn Hudhafa As-Sahmi who had been one of the companions of the Prophet, and he died at Medina. I went to 'Uthman bin 'Affan and presented Hafsa (for marriage) to him. He said, "I will think it over'. I waited for a few days, then he met me and said, 'It seems that it is not possible for me to marry at present'. " 'Umar further said, "I met Abu Bakr As-Siddique and said to him, 'If you wish, I will marry my daughter Hafsa to you". Abu Bakr kept quiet and did not say anything to me in reply. I became more angry with him than with 'Uthman. I waited for a few days and then Allah's Messenger asked for her hand, and I gave her in marriage to him. Afterwards I met Abu Bakr who said, 'Perhaps you became angry with me when you presented Hafsa to me and I did not give you a reply?' I said, 'Yes'. Abu Bakr said, 'Nothing stopped me to respond to your offer except that I knew that Allah's Apostle had mentioned her, and I never wanted to let out the secret of Allah's Messenger . And if Allah's Apostle had refused her, I would have accepted her'. "
حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الْعَزِيزِ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، حَدَّثَنَا إِبْرَاهِيمُ بْنُ سَعْدٍ، عَنْ صَالِحِ بْنِ كَيْسَانَ، عَنِ ابْنِ شِهَابٍ، قَالَ أَخْبَرَنِي سَالِمُ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، أَنَّهُ سَمِعَ عَبْدَ اللَّهِ بْنَ عُمَرَ ـ رضى الله عنهما ـ يُحَدِّثُ أَنَّ عُمَرَ بْنَ الْخَطَّابِ حِينَ تَأَيَّمَتْ حَفْصَةُ بِنْتُ عُمَرَ مِنْ خُنَيْسِ بْنِ حُذَافَةَ السَّهْمِيِّ ـ وَكَانَ مِنْ أَصْحَابِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ فَتُوُفِّيَ بِالْمَدِينَةِ ـ فَقَالَ عُمَرُ بْنُ الْخَطَّابِ أَتَيْتُ عُثْمَانَ بْنَ عَفَّانَ فَعَرَضْتُ عَلَيْهِ حَفْصَةَ فَقَالَ سَأَنْظُرُ فِي أَمْرِي‏.‏ فَلَبِثْتُ لَيَالِيَ ثُمَّ لَقِيَنِي فَقَالَ قَدْ بَدَا لِي أَنْ لاَ أَتَزَوَّجَ يَوْمِي هَذَا‏.‏ قَالَ عُمَرُ فَلَقِيتُ أَبَا بَكْرٍ الصِّدِّيقَ فَقُلْتُ إِنْ شِئْتَ زَوَّجْتُكَ حَفْصَةَ بِنْتَ عُمَرَ‏.‏ فَصَمَتَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ فَلَمْ يَرْجِعْ إِلَىَّ شَيْئًا، وَكُنْتُ أَوْجَدَ عَلَيْهِ مِنِّي عَلَى عُثْمَانَ، فَلَبِثْتُ لَيَالِيَ ثُمَّ خَطَبَهَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ فَأَنْكَحْتُهَا إِيَّاهُ، فَلَقِيَنِي أَبُو بَكْرٍ فَقَالَ لَعَلَّكَ وَجَدْتَ عَلَىَّ حِينَ عَرَضْتَ عَلَىَّ حَفْصَةَ فَلَمْ أَرْجِعْ إِلَيْكَ شَيْئًا‏.‏ قَالَ عُمَرُ قُلْتُ نَعَمْ‏.‏ قَالَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ فَإِنَّهُ لَمْ يَمْنَعْنِي أَنْ أَرْجِعَ إِلَيْكَ فِيمَا عَرَضْتَ عَلَىَّ إِلاَّ أَنِّي كُنْتُ عَلِمْتُ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ قَدْ ذَكَرَهَا، فَلَمْ أَكُنْ لأُفْشِيَ سِرَّ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ وَلَوْ تَرَكَهَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ قَبِلْتُهَا‏.‏

TOPICS
marriage  *  offer  *  decline  *  secret  *  nikah  *  ijb  *  radd  *  sirr

QUICK LESSONS:
Respect other people’s secrets even if it means sacrificing something you want or need yourself; Find suitable spouses for your children so they can be happy and content with their lives; Follow Islamic teachings when making decisions related to marriage; Show kindness towards others when offering them something; Be patient when waiting for an answer from someone else regarding an offer you made them; Have faith in God’s plan even if things don't go your way at first glance .

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith is about the marriage of Hafsa bint 'Umar. She was the daughter of Umar bin Al-Khattab and she became a widow after her husband Khunays ibn Hudhafa As-Sahmi passed away. Umar wanted to find a suitable husband for his daughter so he went to Uthman bin Affan and offered him the chance to marry her. However, he declined as he knew that Allah's Messenger was interested in her. He then went to Abu Bakr As-Siddique with the same offer but again he declined as he did not want to reveal Allah's Messenger's secret. Eventually Allah's Messenger asked for her hand in marriage and she married him instead. This hadith teaches us that we should always respect other people’s secrets even if it means sacrificing something we want or need ourselves. It also shows us how important it is for parents to find suitable spouses for their children so they can be happy and content with their lives.

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