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Sahih al-Bukhari 5106 (Book 67, Hadith 44) #4890
Refusing an Unlawful Marriage Proposal

SUMMARY: The Prophet (ﷺ) was asked to marry a woman, but he refused because she was not lawful for him to marry due to her being his stepdaughter.

Narrated Um Habiba: I said, "O Allah's Messenger ﷺ! Do you like to have (my sister) the daughter of Abu Sufyan?" The Prophet ﷺ said, "What shall I do (with her)?" I said, "Marry her". He said, "Do you like that?" I said, "(Yes), for even now I am not your only wife, so I like that my sister should share you with me". He said, "She is not lawful for me (to marry)". I said, "We have heard that you want to marry". He said, "The daughter of Um Salama?" I said, "Yes". He said, "Even if she were not my stepdaughter, she should be unlawful for me to marry, for Thuwayba suckled me and her father (Abu Salama). So you should neither present your daughters, nor your sisters, to me".
حَدَّثَنَا الْحُمَيْدِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ، حَدَّثَنَا هِشَامٌ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ زَيْنَبَ، عَنْ أُمِّ حَبِيبَةَ، قَالَتْ قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ﷺ هَلْ لَكَ فِي بِنْتِ أَبِي سُفْيَانَ قَالَ ‏"‏ فَأَفْعَلُ مَاذَا ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ تَنْكِحُ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ أَتُحِبِّينَ ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ لَسْتُ لَكَ بِمُخْلِيَةٍ، وَأَحَبُّ مَنْ شَرِكَنِي فِيكَ أُخْتِي‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ إِنَّهَا لاَ تَحِلُّ لِي ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ بَلَغَنِي أَنَّكَ تَخْطُبُ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ ابْنَةَ أُمِّ سَلَمَةَ ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ نَعَمْ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ لَوْ لَمْ تَكُنْ رَبِيبَتِي مَا حَلَّتْ لِي، أَرْضَعَتْنِي وَأَبَاهَا ثُوَيْبَةُ، فَلاَ تَعْرِضْنَ عَلَىَّ بَنَاتِكُنَّ وَلاَ أَخَوَاتِكُنَّ ‏"‏‏.‏ وَقَالَ اللَّيْثُ حَدَّثَنَا هِشَامٌ دُرَّةُ بِنْتُ أَبِي سَلَمَةَ‏.‏
TOPICS
marriage  *  proposal  *  lawful  *  unlawful  *  zawaj  *  istikhaarah  *  halal  *  haram

QUICK LESSONS:
Abide by Islamic law and make wise decisions in life .

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith is about the Prophet Muhammad's refusal of a marriage proposal from Um Habiba. In this hadith, the Prophet Muhammad explains why it would be unlawful for him to marry Um Habiba's sister, who is his stepdaughter. He explains that Thuwayba suckled him and her father Abu Salama, which makes it unlawful for them to be married according to Islamic law. This hadith teaches us that we should always abide by Islamic law and not do anything that goes against it even if someone proposes something that may seem attractive or beneficial in the short term. It also teaches us about the importance of family ties and how they can affect our decisions in life.

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