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(Book 28, Hadith 14) #36174
Staying with Spouses in Turn

SUMMARY: The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) offered to stay with his wife Umm Salama for seven nights, but she chose three nights instead.

Yahya related to me from Malik from Abdullah ibn Abi Bakr ibn Muhammad ibn Amr ibn Hazm from Abd al-Malik ibn Abi Bakr ibn Abd ar- Rahman ibn al-Harith ibn Hisham al-Makhzumi from his father that: when the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, married Umm Salama and then spent the night with her, he said to her, "You are not being humbled in your right. If you wish, I will stay with you for seven nights as I stayed seven nights with the others. If you wish, I will stay with you for three nights, and then visit the others in turn". She said, "Stay three nights".
حَدَّثَنِي يَحْيَى، عَنْ مَالِكٍ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ أَبِي بَكْرِ بْنِ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ عَمْرِو بْنِ حَزْمٍ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الْمَلِكِ بْنِ أَبِي بَكْرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ الْحَارِثِ بْنِ هِشَامٍ الْمَخْزُومِيِّ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ حِينَ تَزَوَّجَ أُمَّ سَلَمَةَ وَأَصْبَحَتْ عِنْدَهُ قَالَ لَهَا ‏ "‏ لَيْسَ بِكِ عَلَى أَهْلِكِ هَوَانٌ إِنْ شِئْتِ سَبَّعْتُ عِنْدَكِ وَسَبَّعْتُ عِنْدَهُنَّ وَإِنْ شِئْتِ ثَلَّثْتُ عِنْدَكِ وَدُرْتُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَقَالَتْ ثَلِّثْ

TOPICS
marriage  *  equality  *  respect  *  choice  *  zawaj  *  musawat  *  ihtiram  *  ikhtiyar

QUICK LESSONS:
Treat your spouse equally and show them respect by giving them a choice in your relationship arrangements .

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith is about the Prophet Muhammad's marriage to Umm Salama and how he showed her respect and equality by offering her a choice of how long he would stay with her. He offered to stay with her for seven nights, as he did with other wives, but she chose three nights instead. This shows that the Prophet respected Umm Salama's wishes and gave her an equal choice in their marriage arrangement. It also teaches us that spouses should treat each other equally and show respect for each other's wishes in their relationship.

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