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(Book 28, Hadith 3) #36163
Proposing to Widows with Honorable Words

SUMMARY: This hadith explains that when proposing to a woman who is in her idda period after the death of her husband, one should use honorable words and not make troth with them secretly.

Yahya related to me from Malik from Abd ar-Rahman ibn al-Qasim that his father said about the word of Allah, the Blessed, the Exalted, "There is no fault in you about the proposal you offer to women, or hide in yourselves. Allah knows that you will be mindful of them; but do not make troth with them secretly without honourable words," (Sura 2 ayat 235) that it referred to a man saying to a woman while she was still in her idda after the death of her husband, "You are dear to me, and I desire you, and Allah brings provision and blessing to you," and words such as these.
وَحَدَّثَنِي عَنْ مَالِكٍ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ الْقَاسِمِ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، أَنَّهُ كَانَ يَقُولُ فِي قَوْلِ اللَّهِ تَبَارَكَ وَتَعَالَى ‏{‏وَلاَ جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا عَرَّضْتُمْ بِهِ مِنْ خِطْبَةِ النِّسَاءِ أَوْ أَكْنَنْتُمْ فِي أَنْفُسِكُمْ عَلِمَ اللَّهُ أَنَّكُمْ سَتَذْكُرُونَهُنَّ وَلَكِنْ لاَ تُوَاعِدُوهُنَّ سِرًّا إِلاَّ أَنْ تَقُولُوا قَوْلاً مَعْرُوفًا‏}‏ أَنْ يَقُولَ الرَّجُلُ لِلْمَرْأَةِ وَهِيَ فِي عِدَّتِهَا مِنْ وَفَاةِ زَوْجِهَا إِنَّكِ عَلَىَّ لَكَرِيمَةٌ وَإِنِّي فِيكِ لَرَاغِبٌ وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَسَائِقٌ إِلَيْكِ خَيْرًا وَرِزْقًا وَنَحْوَ هَذَا مِنَ الْقَوْلِ
TOPICS
proposal  *  widow  *  blessing  *  istikhaarah  *  arrajulah  *  aliddah  *  barakah  *  idda

QUICK LESSONS:
Use kind and respectful language when making marriage proposals .

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith explains the importance of using honorable words when proposing to a widow who is in her period of waiting after the death of her husband. The Quran states that there is no fault in you about the proposal you offer to women, or hide in yourselves. Allah knows that you will be mindful of them; but do not make troth with them secretly without honourable words,"( (2:235) Sura 2 ayat 235). According to this hadith, it is important for people proposing marriage to widows during their waiting period use kind and respectful language when making their proposal as Allah brings provision and blessing through such proposals. It teaches us that we should always be mindful and respectful towards others even if they are going through difficult times such as mourning for a lost loved one.

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