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Sahih al-Bukhari 3679 (Book 62, Hadith 29) #3512
Respect for Self-Respect

SUMMARY: The Prophet (ﷺ) saw himself in a dream entering Paradise and encountered Ar-Rumaisa', Abu Talha's wife, Bilal, and a palace belonging to Umar. Umar was humbled by the Prophet's consideration of his self-respect.

Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah: The Prophet said, "I saw myself (in a dream) entering Paradise, and behold! I saw Ar-Rumaisa', Abu Talha's wife. I heard footsteps. I asked, Who is it? Somebody said, 'It is Bilal ' Then I saw a palace and a lady sitting in its courtyard. I asked, 'For whom is this palace?' Somebody replied, 'It is for 'Umar'. I intended to enter it and see it, but I thought of your ('Umar's) Ghira (and gave up the attempt)"'.Umar said, "Let my parents be sacrificed for you, O Allah's Messenger ! How dare I think of my Ghira (self-respect) being offended by you?
حَدَّثَنَا حَجَّاجُ بْنُ مِنْهَالٍ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الْعَزِيزِ الْمَاجِشُونُ، حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الْمُنْكَدِرِ، عَنْ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ـ رضى الله عنهما ـ قَالَ قَالَ النَّبِيُّ ‏ "‏ رَأَيْتُنِي دَخَلْتُ الْجَنَّةَ، فَإِذَا أَنَا بِالرُّمَيْصَاءِ امْرَأَةِ أَبِي طَلْحَةَ وَسَمِعْتُ خَشَفَةً، فَقُلْتُ مَنْ هَذَا فَقَالَ هَذَا بِلاَلٌ‏.‏ وَرَأَيْتُ قَصْرًا بِفِنَائِهِ جَارِيَةٌ، فَقُلْتُ لِمَنْ هَذَا فَقَالَ لِعُمَرَ‏.‏ فَأَرَدْتُ أَنْ أَدْخُلَهُ فَأَنْظُرَ إِلَيْهِ، فَذَكَرْتُ غَيْرَتَكَ ‏"‏‏.‏ فَقَالَ عُمَرُ بِأُمِّي وَأَبِي يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ أَعَلَيْكَ أَغَارُ

TOPICS
respect  *  selfrespect  *  dream  *  paradise  *  arrumaisa  *  ghira  *  adab  *  ihsaan  *  khashiyat

QUICK LESSONS:
Show adab/good manners towards others by being considerate towards their feelings & show ihsan/kindness towards them at all times so as not to hurt their khashiyat/sense of dignity in any way whatsoever .

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith is about the importance of respecting one another’s self-respect. In this hadith, the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ saw himself in a dream entering paradise and encountered Ar-Rumaisa', Abu Talha's wife, Bilal, and a palace belonging to Umar. When he thought of entering it out of curiosity, he remembered Umar’s self respect or ‘ghira’ as it is known in Arabic and decided against it out of respect for him. This shows us that we should always be mindful of other people’s feelings when interacting with them so as not to offend them or hurt their feelings even if unintentionally. We should also be aware that our actions can have an effect on others even if we are not directly interacting with them at that moment; this is why the Prophet ﷺ refrained from entering Umar’s palace despite being curious about it because he knew how much value Umar placed on his own self respect. We can learn from this hadith that we should always show adab or good manners towards others by being considerate towards their feelings and showing ihsan or kindness towards them at all times so as not to hurt their khashiyat or sense of dignity in any way whatsoever.

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