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Sunan Abi Dawud 5181 (Book 43, Hadith 409) #25472
Asking for Permission

SUMMARY: When asking for permission, one should not persist if it is not granted after three attempts.

Abu Musa said that he came to 'Umar and asked permission three times saying : Abu Musa asks permission, al-Ash’ari ask permission, and 'Abd Allah b. Qais asks permission, but it was not granted to him. So he went away and 'umar sent for him saying: what did you return? He replied: The Messenger of Allah (May peace be upon him) said: When one of you asks permission three times and it is not granted to him, he should go away. He said: Establish the proof of it. He went, came back, and said; This is Ubayy. Ubayy said: 'Umar, do not be an agony for the Companions of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him)'.Umar said : I shall not be an agony for the Companions of the Messenger of Allah .
حَدَّثَنَا مُسَدَّدٌ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ دَاوُدَ، عَنْ طَلْحَةَ بْنِ يَحْيَى، عَنْ أَبِي بُرْدَةَ، عَنْ أَبِي مُوسَى، أَنَّهُ أَتَى عُمَرَ فَاسْتَأْذَنَ ثَلاَثًا فَقَالَ يَسْتَأْذِنُ أَبُو مُوسَى يَسْتَأْذِنُ الأَشْعَرِيُّ يَسْتَأْذِنُ عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ قَيْسٍ فَلَمْ يُؤْذَنْ لَهُ فَرَجَعَ فَبَعَثَ إِلَيْهِ عُمَرُ مَا رَدَّكَ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ‏ "‏ يَسْتَأْذِنُ أَحَدُكُمْ ثَلاَثًا فَإِنْ أُذِنَ لَهُ وَإِلاَّ فَلْيَرْجِعْ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ ائْتِنِي بِبَيِّنَةٍ عَلَى هَذَا ‏.‏ فَذَهَبَ ثُمَّ رَجَعَ فَقَالَ هَذَا أُبَىٌّ فَقَالَ أُبَىٌّ يَا عُمَرُ لاَ تَكُنْ عَذَابًا عَلَى أَصْحَابِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ‏.‏ فَقَالَ عُمَرُ لاَ أَكُونُ عَذَابًا عَلَى أَصْحَابِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ

TOPICS
request  *  persistence  *  respect

QUICK LESSONS:
Be respectful when asking someone else for something; ask up to 3 times before giving up; have faith in Allah's plan & timing .

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith speaks about the importance of respect and politeness when asking for permission. It is narrated by Abu Musa and Ubayy ibn Ka'b that Abu Musa asked 'Umar for permission three times but was not granted it. He then went away, as the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said that if someone asks for permission three times and it is not granted to them, they should go away. 'Umar then sent someone to bring him back, but Ubayy reminded him of the Prophet's teachings on respect and politeness towards others. This hadith teaches us that we should be respectful when asking for something from another person, even if we are denied multiple times; we must still maintain our composure and politeness in order to show respect towards others. We must also remember that Allah will provide us with what we need in His own time; therefore, we must have faith in Him instead of relying solely on ourselves or other people.

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