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Sunan Abi Dawud 4089 (Book 34, Hadith 70) #24379
Respect Through Tidiness

SUMMARY: The hadith is about the importance of tidying up one's appearance and avoiding obscenity in order to be respected by others.

Narrated Qays ibn Bishr at-Taghlibi: My father told me that he was a companion of Abu Darda'. There was in Damascus a man from the companions of the Prophet , called Ibn al-Hanzaliyyah. He was a recluse and rarely met the people. He remained engaged in prayer. When he was not praying he was occupied in glorifying Allah and exalting Him until he went to his family. Once he passed us when we were with AbudDarda'. AbudDarda' said to him: Tell us a word which benefits us and does not harm you. He said: The Messenger of Allah sent out a contingent and it came back. One of the men came and sat in the place where the Messenger of Allah used to sit, and he said to a man beside him: Would that you saw us when we met the enemy and so-and-so attacked and cut through a lance. He said: Take it from me and I am a boy of the tribe Ghifar. What do you think about his statement? He replied: I think his reward was lost. Another man heard it and said: I do not think that there is any harm in it. They quarrelled until the Messenger of Allah heard it, and he said: Glory be to Allah! There is no harm if he is rewarded and praised. I saw that AbudDarda' was pleased with it and began to raise his hand to him and say: Did you hear it from the Messenger of Allah ? He said: Yes. He continued to repeat it to him so often that I thought he was going to kneel down. He said: On another day he again passed us. AbudDarda' said to him: (Tell us) a word which benefits us and does not harm you. He said: The Messenger of Allah said to us: One who spends on (the maintenance of) horses (for jihad) is like the one who spreads his hand to give alms (sadaqah) and does not withhold it. He then passed us on another day. AbudDarda' said to him: (Tell us) a word which benefits us and does no harm to you. He said: The Messenger of Allah said: Khuraym al-Asadi would be a fine man were it not for the length of his hair, which reaches the shoulders, and the way he lets his lower garment hang down. When Khuraym heard that, he hurriedly, took a knife, cut his hair in line with his ears and raised his lower garment half way up his legs. He then passed us on another day. AbudDarda' said to him: (tell us) a word which benefits us and does not harm you. He said: I heard the Messenger of Allah say: You are coming to your brethren; so tidy your mounts and tidy your dress, until you are like a mole among the people. Allah does not like obscene words or deeds, or do intentional committing of obscenity. Abu Dawud said: Similarly, Abu Nu'aim narrated from Hisham. He said: Until you will be like a mole among the people.
حَدَّثَنَا هَارُونُ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو عَامِرٍ، - يَعْنِي عَبْدَ الْمَلِكِ بْنَ عَمْرٍو - حَدَّثَنَا هِشَامُ بْنُ سَعْدٍ، عَنْ قَيْسِ بْنِ بِشْرٍ التَّغْلِبِيِّ، قَالَ أَخْبَرَنِي أَبِي، - وَكَانَ جَلِيسًا لأَبِي الدَّرْدَاءِ - قَالَ كَانَ بِدِمَشْقَ رَجُلٌ مِنْ أَصْحَابِ النَّبِيِّ يُقَالُ لَهُ ابْنُ الْحَنْظَلِيَّةِ وَكَانَ رَجُلاً مُتَوَحِّدًا قَلَّمَا يُجَالِسُ النَّاسَ إِنَّمَا هُوَ صَلاَةٌ فَإِذَا فَرَغَ فَإِنَّمَا هُوَ تَسْبِيحٌ وَتَكْبِيرٌ حَتَّى يَأْتِيَ أَهْلَهُ فَمَرَّ بِنَا وَنَحْنُ عِنْدَ أَبِي الدَّرْدَاءِ فَقَالَ لَهُ أَبُو الدَّرْدَاءِ كَلِمَةً تَنْفَعُنَا وَلاَ تَضُرُّكَ قَالَ بَعَثَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ سَرِيَّةً فَقَدِمَتْ فَجَاءَ رَجُلٌ مِنْهُمْ فَجَلَسَ فِي الْمَجْلِسِ الَّذِي يَجْلِسُ فِيهِ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ فَقَالَ لِرَجُلٍ إِلَى جَنْبِهِ لَوْ رَأَيْتَنَا حِينَ الْتَقَيْنَا نَحْنُ وَالْعَدُوُّ فَحَمَلَ فُلاَنٌ فَطَعَنَ فَقَالَ خُذْهَا مِنِّي وَأَنَا الْغُلاَمُ الْغِفَارِيُّ كَيْفَ تَرَى فِي قَوْلِهِ قَالَ مَا أُرَاهُ إِلاَّ قَدْ بَطَلَ أَجْرُهُ فَسَمِعَ بِذَلِكَ آخَرُ فَقَالَ مَا أَرَى بِذَلِكَ بَأْسًا فَتَنَازَعَا حَتَّى سَمِعَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ سُبْحَانَ اللَّهِ لاَ بَأْسَ أَنْ يُؤْجَرَ وَيُحْمَدَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَرَأَيْتُ أَبَا الدَّرْدَاءِ سُرَّ بِذَلِكَ وَجَعَلَ يَرْفَعُ رَأْسَهُ إِلَيْهِ وَيَقُولُ أَنْتَ سَمِعْتَ ذَلِكَ مِنْ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ فَيَقُولُ نَعَمْ ‏.‏ فَمَا زَالَ يُعِيدُ عَلَيْهِ حَتَّى إِنِّي لأَقُولُ لَيَبْرُكَنَّ عَلَى رُكْبَتَيْهِ ‏.‏ قَالَ فَمَرَّ بِنَا يَوْمًا آخَرَ فَقَالَ لَهُ أَبُو الدَّرْدَاءِ كَلِمَةً تَنْفَعُنَا وَلاَ تَضُرُّكَ قَالَ قَالَ لَنَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ‏"‏ الْمُنْفِقُ عَلَى الْخَيْلِ كَالْبَاسِطِ يَدَهُ بِالصَّدَقَةِ لاَ يَقْبِضُهَا ‏"‏ ‏.‏ ثُمَّ مَرَّ بِنَا يَوْمًا آخَرَ فَقَالَ لَهُ أَبُو الدَّرْدَاءِ كَلِمَةً تَنْفَعُنَا وَلاَ تَضُرُّكَ ‏.‏ قَالَ قَالَ لَنَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ‏"‏ نِعْمَ الرَّجُلُ خُرَيْمٌ الأَسَدِيُّ لَوْلاَ طُولُ جُمَّتِهِ وَإِسْبَالُ إِزَارِهِ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَبَلَغَ ذَلِكَ خُرَيْمًا فَعَجِلَ فَأَخَذَ شَفْرَةً فَقَطَعَ بِهَا جُمَّتَهُ إِلَى أُذُنَيْهِ وَرَفَعَ إِزَارَهُ إِلَى أَنْصَافِ سَاقَيْهِ ‏.‏ ثُمَّ مَرَّ بِنَا يَوْمًا آخَرَ فَقَالَ لَهُ أَبُو الدَّرْدَاءِ كَلِمَةً تَنْفَعُنَا وَلاَ تَضُرُّكَ فَقَالَ سَمِعْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ يَقُولُ ‏"‏ إِنَّكُمْ قَادِمُونَ عَلَى إِخْوَانِكُمْ فَأَصْلِحُوا رِحَالَكُمْ وَأَصْلِحُوا لِبَاسَكُمْ حَتَّى تَكُونُوا كَأَنَّكُمْ شَامَةٌ فِي النَّاسِ فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لاَ يُحِبُّ الْفُحْشَ وَلاَ التَّفَحُّشَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ أَبُو دَاوُدَ وَكَذَلِكَ قَالَ أَبُو نُعَيْمٍ عَنْ هِشَامٍ قَالَ حَتَّى تَكُونُوا كَالشَّامَةِ فِي النَّاسِ

TOPICS
respect  *  tidiness  *  obscenity  *  appearance  *  adab  *  alasadi

QUICK LESSONS:
Look presentable when meeting people; Be humble; Show proper etiquette; Avoid obscene words or deeds; Spread your hand to give charity without withholding it ; Spend on horses for jihad .

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith is about the importance of having good manners and respecting oneself and others. It was narrated by Qays ibn Bishr at-Taghlibi who heard it from his father who was a companion of Abu Darda'. In this hadith, Abu Darda' asked a man from the companions of Prophet Muhammad to tell them something beneficial that would not harm him. The man then told them three stories which all taught different lessons on how to behave properly in order to gain respect from others. The first story was about a man who bragged about his accomplishments in battle but was reprimanded for doing so as it showed arrogance instead of humility. The second story was about Khuraym al-Asadi whose long hair and clothing were seen as inappropriate so he quickly changed his appearance when he heard this advice from Prophet Muhammad. Lastly, the third story taught that one should always look presentable when meeting their brethren or anyone else for that matter as Allah does not like obscene words or deeds or intentional committing of obscenity. All these stories teach us important values such as humility, modesty, respectability and proper etiquette which are essential for gaining respect from others in society today just like they were back then during Prophet Muhammad's time.

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