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Sunan Abi Dawud 2277 (Book 13, Hadith 103) #22568
Resolving Disputes Through Child's Choice

SUMMARY: The hadith is about a dispute between a divorced couple over their son, and the Prophet's (PBUH) solution to the problem was to let the child choose which parent he wanted to stay with.

Hilal ibn Usamah quoted Abu Maimunah Salma, client of the people of Medina, as saying: While I was sitting with AbuHurayrah, a Persian woman came to him along with a son of hers. She had been divorced by her husband and they both claimed him. She said: AbuHurayrah, speaking to him in Persian, my husband wishes to take my son away. AbuHurayrah said: Cast lots for him, saying it to her in a foreign language. Then her husband came and asked: Who is disputing with me about my son? AbuHurayrah said: O Allah, I do not say this, except that I heard a woman who came to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ while I was sitting with him, and she said: My husband wishes to take away my son, Messenger of Allah, and he draws water for me from the well of Abu Inabah, and he has been good to me. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: Cast lots for him. Her husband said: Who is disputing with me about my son? The Prophet ﷺ said: This is your father and this your mother, so take whichever of them you wish by the hand. So he took his mother's hand and she went away with him.
حَدَّثَنَا الْحَسَنُ بْنُ عَلِيٍّ الْحُلْوَانِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الرَّزَّاقِ، وَأَبُو عَاصِمٍ عَنِ ابْنِ جُرَيْجٍ، أَخْبَرَنِي زِيَادٌ، عَنْ هِلاَلِ بْنِ أُسَامَةَ، أَنَّ أَبَا مَيْمُونَةَ، سَلْمَى - مَوْلًى مِنْ أَهْلِ الْمَدِينَةِ رَجُلَ صِدْقٍ - قَالَ بَيْنَمَا أَنَا جَالِسٌ مَعَ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ جَاءَتْهُ امْرَأَةٌ فَارِسِيَّةٌ مَعَهَا ابْنٌ لَهَا فَادَّعَيَاهُ وَقَدْ طَلَّقَهَا زَوْجُهَا فَقَالَتْ يَا أَبَا هُرَيْرَةَ - وَرَطَنَتْ لَهُ بِالْفَارِسِيَّةِ - زَوْجِي يُرِيدُ أَنْ يَذْهَبَ بِابْنِي فَقَالَ أَبُو هُرَيْرَةَ اسْتَهِمَا عَلَيْهِ وَرَطَنَ لَهَا بِذَلِكَ فَجَاءَ زَوْجُهَا فَقَالَ مَنْ يُحَاقُّنِي فِي وَلَدِي فَقَالَ أَبُو هُرَيْرَةَ اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي لاَ أَقُولُ هَذَا إِلاَّ أَنِّي سَمِعْتُ امْرَأَةً جَاءَتْ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ﷺ وَأَنَا قَاعِدٌ عِنْدَهُ فَقَالَتْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنَّ زَوْجِي يُرِيدُ أَنْ يَذْهَبَ بِابْنِي وَقَدْ سَقَانِي مِنْ بِئْرِ أَبِي عِنَبَةَ وَقَدْ نَفَعَنِي ‏.‏ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ ‏"‏ اسْتَهِمَا عَلَيْهِ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَقَالَ زَوْجُهَا مَنْ يُحَاقُّنِي فِي وَلَدِي فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ ﷺ ‏"‏ هَذَا أَبُوكَ وَهَذِهِ أُمُّكَ فَخُذْ بِيَدِ أَيِّهِمَا شِئْتَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَأَخَذَ بِيَدِ أُمِّهِ فَانْطَلَقَتْ بِهِ
TOPICS
divorce  *  dispute  *  child  *  rights  *  talak  *  fitnah  *  walad  *  alwalidain

QUICK LESSONS:
Respect towards children’s wishes and feelings ; Consideration for others’ opinions in decision making processes ; Compassion towards those who are going through difficult times such as divorce or separation .

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith speaks of a dispute between a divorced couple over their son. The woman came to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) for help and he suggested that they cast lots for him so that the child could choose which parent he wanted to stay with. This teaches us that when it comes to disputes involving children, it is important to consider their wishes and feelings as well as those of both parents. It also shows us how much respect Prophet Muhammad showed towards children by giving them an opportunity to make decisions about their own lives. Furthermore, this hadith emphasizes the importance of parental rights in Islam; both parents have equal rights over their children regardless of whether they are married or not.

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