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Sunan Abi Dawud 2244 (Book 13, Hadith 70) #22535
Choosing Between Parents

SUMMARY: The Prophet ﷺ guided a girl to choose her father over her mother when they were both claiming her.

'Abd al-Hamid ibn Ja'far reported from his father on the authority of his grandfather Rafi' ibn Sinan that he (Rafi' ibn Sinan) embraced Islam and his wife refused to embrace Islam. She came to the Prophet and said: My daughter; she is weaned or about to wean. Rafi' said: My daughter. The Prophet said to him: Be seated on a side. And he said to her: Be seated on a side. He then seated the girl between them, and said to them: Call her. The girl inclined to her mother. The Prophet said: O Allah! guide her. The daughter then inclined to her father, and he took her.
حَدَّثَنَا إِبْرَاهِيمُ بْنُ مُوسَى الرَّازِيُّ، أَخْبَرَنَا عِيسَى، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الْحَمِيدِ بْنُ جَعْفَرٍ، أَخْبَرَنِي أَبِي، عَنْ جَدِّي، رَافِعِ بْنِ سِنَانٍ أَنَّهُ أَسْلَمَ وَأَبَتِ امْرَأَتُهُ أَنْ تُسْلِمَ فَأَتَتِ النَّبِيَّ فَقَالَتِ ابْنَتِي وَهِيَ فَطِيمٌ أَوْ شِبْهُهُ وَقَالَ رَافِعٌ ابْنَتِي ‏.‏ فَقَالَ لَهُ النَّبِيُّ ‏"‏ اقْعُدْ نَاحِيَةً ‏"‏ ‏.‏ وَقَالَ لَهَا ‏"‏ اقْعُدِي نَاحِيَةً ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ وَأَقْعَدَ الصَّبِيَّةَ بَيْنَهُمَا ثُمَّ قَالَ ‏"‏ ادْعُوَاهَا ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَمَالَتِ الصَّبِيَّةُ إِلَى أُمِّهَا فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ ‏"‏ اللَّهُمَّ اهْدِهَا ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَمَالَتِ الصَّبِيَّةُ إِلَى أَبِيهَا فَأَخَذَهَا

TOPICS
love  *  guidance  *  choice  *  mahabbah  *  hidayah  *  ikhtiyar

QUICK LESSONS:
Parents should love each other for their children's sake; Seek guidance from Allah when making decisions; Make wise choices in life; Respect your parents' wishes; Show kindness towards your family members.

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith is about a situation where a man and his wife were both claiming their daughter. The Prophet (ﷺ) was asked to help them decide who the daughter should go with. He then seated the girl between them and asked them to call her. When she inclined towards one of them, he said “O Allah! guide her” and she chose that parent. This hadith teaches us that parents should love each other for the sake of their children, as it is important for children to have both parents in their lives. It also shows us how important guidance from Allah is in making decisions, as He can help us make the right choice even when we are unsure or confused about what to do.

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