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Sunan Abi Dawud 2103 (Book 12, Hadith 58) #22394
Keeping Promises

SUMMARY: The hadith is about a man who promised to marry his daughter to someone in exchange for a lance, but when the time came, he refused to fulfill his promise. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) then advised him not to break his promise and that neither of them would be sinful if they did not go through with it.

Narrated Maymunah, daughter of Kardam: I went out along with my father during the hajj performed by the Messenger of Allah . I saw the Messenger of Allah . My father came near him; he was riding his she-camel. He stopped there and listened to him. He had a whip like the whip of the teachers. I heard the Bedouin and the people saying: Keep away from the whip. My father came up to him. He caught hold of his foot and acknowledged him (his Prophethood). He stopped and listened to him. He then said: I participated in the army of Athran (in the pre-Islamic days). The narrator, Ibn al-Muthanna, said: Army of Ghathran. Tariq ibn al-Muraqqa' said: Who will give me a lance and get a reward? I asked: What is its reward? He replied: I shall marry him to my first daughter born to me. So I gave him my lance and then disappeared from him till I knew that a daughter was born to him and she came of age. I then came to him and said: Send my wife to me. He swore that he would not do that until I fixed a dower afresh other than that agreed between me and him, and I swore that I should not give him the dower other than that I had given him before. The Messenger of Allah said: How old is she now? He said: She has grown old. He said: I think you should leave her. He said: This put awe and fear into me, and I looked at the Messenger of Allah . When he felt this in me, he said: You will not be sinful, nor will your companion be sinful. Abu Dawud said: Qatir means old age.
حَدَّثَنَا الْحَسَنُ بْنُ عَلِيٍّ، وَمُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الْمُثَنَّى، - الْمَعْنَى - قَالاَ حَدَّثَنَا يَزِيدُ بْنُ هَارُونَ، أَخْبَرَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ يَزِيدَ بْنِ مِقْسَمٍ الثَّقَفِيُّ، - مِنْ أَهْلِ الطَّائِفِ - حَدَّثَتْنِي سَارَّةُ بِنْتُ مِقْسَمٍ، أَنَّهَا سَمِعَتْ مَيْمُونَةَ بِنْتَ كَرْدَمٍ، قَالَتْ خَرَجْتُ مَعَ أَبِي فِي حَجَّةِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ فَرَأَيْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ فَدَنَا إِلَيْهِ أَبِي وَهُوَ عَلَى نَاقَةٍ لَهُ فَوَقَفَ لَهُ وَاسْتَمَعَ مِنْهُ وَمَعَهُ دِرَّةٌ كَدِرَّةِ الْكُتَّابِ فَسَمِعْتُ الأَعْرَابَ وَالنَّاسَ وَهُمْ يَقُولُونَ الطَّبْطَبِيَّةَ الطَّبْطَبِيَّةَ الطَّبْطَبِيَّةَ فَدَنَا إِلَيْهِ أَبِي فَأَخَذَ بِقَدَمِهِ فَأَقَرَّ لَهُ وَوَقَفَ عَلَيْهِ وَاسْتَمَعَ مِنْهُ فَقَالَ إِنِّي حَضَرْتُ جَيْشَ عِثْرَانَ - قَالَ ابْنُ الْمُثَنَّى جَيْشَ غِثْرَانَ - فَقَالَ طَارِقُ بْنُ الْمُرَقَّعِ مَنْ يُعْطِينِي رُمْحًا بِثَوَابِهِ قُلْتُ وَمَا ثَوَابُهُ قَالَ أُزَوِّجُهُ أَوَّلَ بِنْتٍ تَكُونُ لِي ‏.‏ فَأَعْطَيْتُهُ رُمْحِي ثُمَّ غِبْتُ عَنْهُ حَتَّى عَلِمْتُ أَنَّهُ قَدْ وُلِدَ لَهُ جَارِيَةٌ وَبَلَغَتْ ثُمَّ جِئْتُهُ فَقُلْتُ لَهُ أَهْلِي جَهِّزْهُنَّ إِلَىَّ ‏.‏ فَحَلَفَ أَنْ لاَ يَفْعَلَ حَتَّى أُصْدِقَهُ صَدَاقًا جَدِيدًا غَيْرَ الَّذِي كَانَ بَيْنِي وَبَيْنَهُ وَحَلَفْتُ لاَ أُصْدِقُ غَيْرَ الَّذِي أَعْطَيْتُهُ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ‏"‏ وَبِقَرْنِ أَىِّ النِّسَاءِ هِيَ الْيَوْمَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ قَدْ رَأَتِ الْقَتِيرَ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ أَرَى أَنْ تَتْرُكَهَا ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ فَرَاعَنِي ذَلِكَ وَنَظَرْتُ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ فَلَمَّا رَأَى ذَلِكَ مِنِّي قَالَ ‏"‏ لاَ تَأْثَمُ وَلاَ يَأْثَمُ صَاحِبُكَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ أَبُو دَاوُدَ الْقَتِيرُ الشَّيْبُ

TOPICS
wad  *  promise  *  marriage  *  reward  *  age  *  zawaj  *  thawab  *  qatir

QUICK LESSONS:
Keep your promises and fulfill your obligations

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith speaks about the importance of keeping promises and fulfilling one's obligations. It tells us that we should always strive to keep our word and honor our commitments even if it may be difficult or inconvenient for us. The Prophet Muhammad's advice was that neither party would be sinful if they chose not to go through with the marriage due to the age difference between them. This teaches us that we should always try our best to keep our promises but also understand when circumstances make it impossible or impractical for us do so without any guilt or shame.

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