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Sunan an-Nasai 3259 (Book 26, Hadith 64) #17871
Marriage Proposals for Hafsah bint 'Umar

SUMMARY: The hadith is about Umar offering Hafsah in marriage to Uthman and Abu Bakr, but the Prophet Muhammad eventually married her.

'Umar bin Al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated: "Hafsah bint 'Umar became single when (her husband) ____Khunays____ ibn Hudhafah As-Sahmi (died). He was one of the Companions of the Prophet, and he died in Al-Madinah". Umar said: "I went to 'Uthman bin 'Affan and offered Hafsah in marriage to him. I said: 'If you wish, I will marry you to Hafsah bint 'Umar'. He said: 'I will think about it'. A few days passed, then I met him and he said: 'It seems that I do not want to get married at the moment'." 'Umar said: "Then I met Abu Bakr As-Siddiq, may Allah be pleased with him, and said: 'If you wish, I will marry Hafsah bint 'Umar to you'. Abu Bakr remained silent, and did not give me any answer, and I felt more upset with him than I had with 'Uthman. Several days passed, then the Messenger of Allah proposed marriage to her and I married her to him. Abu Bakr met me and said: 'Perhaps you felt upset with me when you offered Hafsah in marriage to me, and I did not give you any answer?' I said: 'Yes'. He said: 'Nothing prevented me from giving you an answer when you made the offer to me, except the fact that I had heard the Messenger of Allah speak of her, and I did not want to disclose the secret of the Messenger of Allah. If he had left her, then I would have married her'."
أَخْبَرَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ الْمُبَارَكِ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا يَعْقُوبُ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ بْنِ سَعْدٍ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا أَبِي، عَنْ صَالِحٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ شِهَابٍ، قَالَ أَخْبَرَنِي سَالِمُ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، أَنَّهُ سَمِعَ عَبْدَ اللَّهِ بْنَ عُمَرَ، يُحَدِّثُ أَنَّ عُمَرَ بْنَ الْخَطَّابِ، رضى الله عنه حَدَّثَنَا قَالَ يَعْنِي تَأَيَّمَتْ حَفْصَةُ بِنْتُ عُمَرَ مِنْ خُنَيْسِ بْنِ حُذَافَةَ السَّهْمِيِّ - وَكَانَ مِنْ أَصْحَابِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ فَتُوُفِّيَ بِالْمَدِينَةِ - قَالَ عُمَرُ فَأَتَيْتُ عُثْمَانَ بْنَ عَفَّانَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ فَعَرَضْتُ عَلَيْهِ حَفْصَةَ بِنْتَ عُمَرَ قَالَ قُلْتُ إِنْ شِئْتَ أَنْكَحْتُكَ حَفْصَةَ ‏.‏ قَالَ سَأَنْظُرُ فِي أَمْرِي فَلَبِثْتُ لَيَالِيَ ثُمَّ لَقِيَنِي فَقَالَ قَدْ بَدَا لِي أَنْ لاَ أَتَزَوَّجَ يَوْمِي هَذَا ‏.‏ قَالَ عُمَرُ فَلَقِيتُ أَبَا بَكْرٍ الصِّدِّيقَ رضى الله عنه فَقُلْتُ إِنْ شِئْتَ زَوَّجْتُكَ حَفْصَةَ بِنْتَ عُمَرَ ‏.‏ فَصَمَتَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ فَلَمْ يَرْجِعْ إِلَىَّ شَيْئًا فَكُنْتُ عَلَيْهِ أَوْجَدَ مِنِّي عَلَى عُثْمَانَ فَلَبِثْتُ لَيَالِيَ ثُمَّ خَطَبَهَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ فَأَنْكَحْتُهَا إِيَّاهُ فَلَقِيَنِي أَبُو بَكْرٍ فَقَالَ لَعَلَّكَ وَجَدْتَ عَلَىَّ حِينَ عَرَضْتَ عَلَىَّ حَفْصَةَ فَلَمْ أَرْجِعْ إِلَيْكَ شَيْئًا ‏.‏ قَالَ عُمَرُ قُلْتُ نَعَمْ ‏.‏ قَالَ فَإِنَّهُ لَمْ يَمْنَعْنِي أَنْ أَرْجِعَ إِلَيْكَ شَيْئًا فِيمَا عَرَضْتَ عَلَىَّ إِلاَّ أَنِّي قَدْ كُنْتُ عَلِمْتُ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ قَدْ ذَكَرَهَا وَلَمْ أَكُنْ لأُفْشِيَ سِرَّ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ وَلَوْ تَرَكَهَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ قَبِلْتُهَا

TOPICS
marriage  *  proposal  *  secret

QUICK LESSONS:
Respect your elders and those who are more knowledgeable than you; do not disclose secrets shared with you by others; respect other people's privacy; think before speaking or making decisions; consider all options before making decisions; be patient when waiting for answers from people regarding important matters such as marriage proposals etc..

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith tells us a story about how Umar offered his daughter, Hafsah bint 'Umar, in marriage to two of the companions of the Prophet Muhammad - Uthman bin 'Affan and Abu Bakr As-Siddiq. Both declined due to their knowledge that the Prophet was interested in marrying her himself. Eventually, he did marry her and this hadith serves as an example of how we should respect secrets that are shared with us by others. It also teaches us that we should not disclose secrets even if it means declining something beneficial for ourselves such as a marriage proposal. Furthermore, it shows us how important it is to respect our elders and those who are more knowledgeable than us since they may have information or insight that we do not possess yet.

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