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Sunan an-Nasai 3254 (Book 26, Hadith 59) #17866
Marriage of Umm Salamah to the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).

SUMMARY: The hadith is about the marriage of Umm Salamah to the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and how he addressed her concerns.

It was narrated from Umm Salamah, that when her 'Iddah had ended, Abu Bakr sent word to her proposing marriage to her, but she did not marry him. Then the Messenger of Allah sent 'Umar bin Al-Khattab with a proposal of marriage. She said: "Tell the Messenger of Allah that I am a jealous woman and that I have sons, and none of my guardians are present". He went to the Messenger of Allah and told him that. He said: "Go back to her and tell her: As for your saying that you are a jealous woman, I will pray to Allah for you to take away your jealousy. As for your saying that you have sons, your sons will be taken care of. And as for your saying that none of your guardians are present, none of your guardians, present or absent, would object to that". She said to her son: "O 'Umar, get up and perform the marriage to the Messenger of Allah," so he performed the marriage.
أَخْبَرَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ إِسْمَاعِيلَ بْنِ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا يَزِيدُ، عَنْ حَمَّادِ بْنِ سَلَمَةَ، عَنْ ثَابِتٍ الْبُنَانِيِّ، حَدَّثَنِي ابْنُ عُمَرَ بْنِ أَبِي سَلَمَةَ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أُمِّ سَلَمَةَ، لَمَّا انْقَضَتْ عِدَّتُهَا بَعَثَ إِلَيْهَا أَبُو بَكْرٍ يَخْطُبُهَا عَلَيْهِ فَلَمْ تَزَوَّجْهُ فَبَعَثَ إِلَيْهَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ عُمَرَ بْنَ الْخَطَّابِ يَخْطُبُهَا عَلَيْهِ فَقَالَتْ أَخْبِرْ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ﷺ أَنِّي امْرَأَةٌ غَيْرَى وَأَنِّي امْرَأَةٌ مُصْبِيَةٌ وَلَيْسَ أَحَدٌ مِنْ أَوْلِيَائِي شَاهِدٌ ‏.‏ فَأَتَى رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ﷺ فَذَكَرَ ذَلِكَ لَهُ فَقَالَ ‏ "‏ ارْجِعْ إِلَيْهَا فَقُلْ لَهَا أَمَّا قَوْلُكِ إِنِّي امْرَأَةٌ غَيْرَى فَسَأَدْعُو اللَّهَ لَكِ فَيُذْهِبُ غَيْرَتَكِ وَأَمَّا قَوْلُكِ إِنِّي امْرَأَةٌ مُصْبِيَةٌ فَسَتُكْفَيْنَ صِبْيَانَكِ وَأَمَّا قَوْلُكِ أَنْ لَيْسَ أَحَدٌ مِنْ أَوْلِيَائِي شَاهِدٌ فَلَيْسَ أَحَدٌ مِنْ أَوْلِيَائِكِ شَاهِدٌ وَلاَ غَائِبٌ يَكْرَهُ ذَلِكَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَقَالَتْ لاِبْنِهَا يَا عُمَرُ قُمْ فَزَوِّجْ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ﷺ فَزَوَّجَهُ ‏.‏ مُخْتَصَرٌ
TOPICS
marriage  *  proposal  *  concerns  *  jealousy  *  guardianship

QUICK LESSONS:
Be considerate when addressing people's concerns in order for them to accept our proposals or requests; Be patient when dealing with people who are jealous or have other issues so that we can help them overcome their difficulties in a respectful manner; Pray for Allah’s guidance and mercy; Show compassion towards others; Respect others’ feelings .

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith is about the marriage of Umm Salamah to the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. When Abu Bakr proposed marriage to her she refused because she was a jealous woman and had sons with no guardians present. The Prophet ﷺ then sent 'Umar bin Al-Khattab with a proposal of marriage and addressed her concerns by saying that he would pray for Allah to take away her jealousy and that he would take care of her sons as well as none of her guardians would object even if they were absent. She accepted his proposal and 'Umar performed their marriage ceremony. This hadith teaches us that we should be considerate when addressing people's concerns in order for them to accept our proposals or requests. We should also be patient when dealing with people who are jealous or have other issues so that we can help them overcome their difficulties in a respectful manner.

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