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Sunan an-Nasai 3226 (Book 26, Hadith 31) #17838
Choosing a Wife for Religious Commitment

SUMMARY: The Prophet Muhammad advised Jabir to choose a wife who is religiously committed rather than one who is beautiful or wealthy.

Narrated Jabir: It was narrated from Jabir that he married a woman at the time of the Messenger of Allah, and the Prophet met him and said: "Have you got married, O Jabir?" He said: 'Yes'. He said: 'A virgin or a previously-married woman?' I said: 'A previously-married woman'. He said: 'Why not a virgin who would play with you?' I said: 'O Messenger of Allah, I have sisters, and I did not want her to come between them and I'. He said: 'That's better then. A woman may be married for her religious commitment, her wealth or her beauty. You should choose the one who is religiously committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (may you prosper)'."
أَخْبَرَنَا إِسْمَاعِيلُ بْنُ مَسْعُودٍ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا خَالِدٌ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الْمَلِكِ، عَنْ عَطَاءٍ، عَنْ جَابِرٍ، أَنَّهُ تَزَوَّجَ امْرَأَةً عَلَى عَهْدِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ﷺ فَلَقِيَهُ النَّبِيُّ ﷺ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ أَتَزَوَّجْتَ يَا جَابِرُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ قُلْتُ نَعَمْ قَالَ ‏"‏ بِكْرًا أَمْ ثَيِّبًا ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ قُلْتُ بَلْ ثَيِّبًا ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ فَهَلاَّ بِكْرًا تُلاَعِبُكَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ كُنَّ لِي أَخَوَاتٌ فَخَشِيتُ أَنْ تَدْخُلَ بَيْنِي وَبَيْنَهُنَّ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ فَذَاكَ إِذًا إِنَّ الْمَرْأَةَ تُنْكَحُ عَلَى دِينِهَا وَمَالِهَا وَجَمَالِهَا فَعَلَيْكَ بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ تَرِبَتْ يَدَاكَ
TOPICS
din  *  marriage  *  spouse  *  religion  *  commitment  *  nikah  *  zauj  *  wafaat

QUICK LESSONS:
Prioritize religious commitment when selecting your life partner.

EXPLANATIONS:
In this hadith narrated by Jabir ibn Abdullah al-Ansari, the Prophet Muhammad advises him to choose a wife based on her religious commitment rather than her beauty or wealth. He emphasizes that religious commitment should be the primary factor in choosing a spouse and encourages him to do so by saying “may your hands be rubbed with dust” which is an expression of blessing and prosperity. This hadith teaches us that when selecting our life partner we should prioritize their faith and piety over other factors such as physical appearance or financial status. It also serves as an example of how the Prophet Muhammad was concerned about his followers’ personal lives and provided them with guidance on matters such as marriage.

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