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Sunan an-Nasai 1847 (Book 21, Hadith 30) #16458
Grieving with Dignity

SUMMARY: The hadith is about the Prophet Muhammad's reaction to the news of three of his companions' deaths and how he instructed a man to prevent their womenfolk from weeping.

It was narrated that 'Aishah said: 'When news of the death of Zaid bin Harithah, Ja'far bin Abi Talib and 'Abdullah bin Rawahah was announced, the Messenger of Allah sat down and it could be seen that he was grieving. I was looking through a crack in the door, and a man came and said: 'Ja'far's womenfolk are weeping'. The Messenger of Allah said: 'Go and prevent them'. He went away, then he came back, and said: I told them not to do that, but they refused to stop; He said: Go and prevent them; He went away then he came back, and said: I told them not to do that, but they refused to stop. He said: 'Throw dust in their mouths'." Aishah said: "I said: 'May Allah rub his nose in the dust, the one who is over there! You did not leave the Messenger of Allah alone but you were not going to do (what he told you to do)"".
أَخْبَرَنَا يُونُسُ بْنُ عَبْدِ الأَعْلَى، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ وَهْبٍ، قَالَ قَالَ مُعَاوِيَةُ بْنُ صَالِحٍ وَحَدَّثَنِي يَحْيَى بْنُ سَعِيدٍ، عَنْ عَمْرَةَ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، قَالَتْ لَمَّا أَتَى نَعْىُ زَيْدِ بْنِ حَارِثَةَ وَجَعْفَرِ بْنِ أَبِي طَالِبٍ وَعَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ رَوَاحَةَ جَلَسَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ يُعْرَفُ فِيهِ الْحُزْنُ وَأَنَا أَنْظُرُ مِنْ صِئْرِ الْبَابِ فَجَاءَهُ رَجُلٌ فَقَالَ إِنَّ نِسَاءَ جَعْفَرٍ يَبْكِينَ ‏.‏ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ‏"‏ انْطَلِقْ فَانْهَهُنَّ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَانْطَلَقَ ثُمَّ جَاءَ فَقَالَ قَدْ نَهَيْتُهُنَّ فَأَبَيْنَ أَنْ يَنْتَهِينَ ‏.‏ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ انْطَلِقْ فَانْهَهُنَّ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَانْطَلَقَ ثُمَّ جَاءَ فَقَالَ قَدْ نَهَيْتُهُنَّ فَأَبَيْنَ أَنْ يَنْتَهِينَ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ فَانْطَلِقْ فَاحْثُ فِي أَفْوَاهِهِنَّ التُّرَابَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَقَالَتْ عَائِشَةُ فَقُلْتُ أَرْغَمَ اللَّهُ أَنْفَ الأَبْعَدِ إِنَّكَ وَاللَّهِ مَا تَرَكْتَ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ وَمَا أَنْتَ بِفَاعِلٍ

TOPICS
death  *  grief  *  respect  *  dignity  *  mawt  *  huzn  *  ihtiram  *  karam

QUICK LESSONS:
Show respect while grieving , Help others during times of grief mindfully

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith speaks to the importance of grieving with dignity and respect. When news of the death of Zaid bin Harithah, Ja'far bin Abi Talib and 'Abdullah bin Rawahah was announced, the Prophet Muhammad showed grief but did not allow himself or others to express it in a way that would be disrespectful. He instructed a man who came with news that Ja'far's womenfolk were weeping to go and prevent them from doing so. When he returned saying they refused to stop crying, he told him again until eventually dust was thrown in their mouths as an act of prevention. Aishah then expressed her disapproval at this man for not leaving the Messenger alone when he asked him for help. This hadith teaches us that we should grieve respectfully without causing distress or disruption in our communities; we should also be mindful when helping others during times of grief as our actions can have unintended consequences if done without thoughtfulness or consideration for those affected by loss.

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