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Sahih Muslim 715f (Book 17, Hadith 71) #10775
Marriage Advice from the Prophet

SUMMARY: The hadith is about Jabir's marriage to a previously married woman and the Prophet's advice to him.

Jabir b. 'Abdullah (Allah be pleased with them) reported: 'Abdullah died and he left (behind him) nine or seven daughters. I married a woman who had been previously married. Allah's Messenger said to me: Jabir, have you married? I said: Yes. He (again) said: A virgin or one previously married? I said: Messenger of Allah, with one who was previously married, whereupon he said: Why didn't you marry a young girl so that you could sport with her and she could sport with you, or you could amuse with her and she could amuse with you? I said to him: 'Abdullah died (he fell as martyr in Uhud) and left nine or seven daughters behind him; I, therefore, did not approve of the idea that I should bring a (girl) like them, but I preferred to bring a woman who should look after them and teach them good manners, whereupon he (Allah's Messenger) said: May Allah bless you, or he supplicated (for the) good (to be) conferred on me (by Allah).
حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ يَحْيَى، وَأَبُو الرَّبِيعِ الزَّهْرَانِيُّ، قَالَ يَحْيَى أَخْبَرَنَا حَمَّادُ بْنُ زَيْدٍ، عَنْ عَمْرِو بْنِ دِينَارٍ، عَنْ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، أَنَّ عَبْدَ اللَّهِ، هَلَكَ وَتَرَكَ تِسْعَ بَنَاتٍ - أَوْ قَالَ سَبْعَ - فَتَزَوَّجْتُ امْرَأَةً ثَيِّبًا فَقَالَ لِي رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ‏"‏ يَا جَابِرُ تَزَوَّجْتَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ قُلْتُ نَعَمْ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ فَبِكْرٌ أَمْ ثَيِّبٌ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ قُلْتُ بَلْ ثَيِّبٌ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ فَهَلاَّ جَارِيَةً تُلاَعِبُهَا وَتُلاَعِبُكَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ أَوْ قَالَ ‏"‏ تُضَاحِكُهَا وَتُضَاحِكُكَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ قُلْتُ لَهُ إِنَّ عَبْدَ اللَّهِ هَلَكَ وَتَرَكَ تِسْعَ بَنَاتٍ - أَوْ سَبْعَ - وَإِنِّي كَرِهْتُ أَنْ آتِيَهُنَّ أَوْ أَجِيئَهُنَّ بِمِثْلِهِنَّ فَأَحْبَبْتُ أَنْ أَجِيءَ بِامْرَأَةٍ تَقُومُ عَلَيْهِنَّ وَتُصْلِحُهُنَّ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ فَبَارَكَ اللَّهُ لَكَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ أَوْ قَالَ لِي خَيْرًا وَفِي رِوَايَةِ أَبِي الرَّبِيعِ ‏"‏ تُلاَعِبُهَا وَتُلاَعِبُكَ وَتُضَاحِكُهَا وَتُضَاحِكُكَ

TOPICS
marriage  *  advice  *  prophet  *  nikah  *  nasihah  *  jabir  *  rasulullah

QUICK LESSONS:
Consider other people's needs when making decisions in life; Teach children good manners; Follow what pleases Allah most

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith is about the marriage of Jabir b. 'Abdullah and his conversation with the Prophet regarding it. When asked by the Prophet if he had married a virgin or one previously married, he explained that his father had died leaving nine or seven daughters behind and so he wanted someone who could look after them and teach them good manners. The Prophet then blessed him for this decision and supplicated for good to be conferred on him by Allah. This hadith teaches us that when making decisions in life we should consider not only our own needs but also those of others around us as well as what would please Allah most. It also shows us how much importance was placed on teaching children good manners in Islam which is something we should strive to do today too!

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