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Sahih Muslim 1449a (Book 17, Hadith 19) #10723
Refusing Marriage Proposals Due To Fosterage Relationships

SUMMARY: The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) refused to marry Umm Habiba's daughter due to the fact that she was related to him through fosterage.

Umm Habiba, the daughter of AbuSufyan, reported: The Messenger of Allah came to me and I said to him: Have you any inclination towards my the daughter of Abu Sufyan? He (the Holy Prophet) said: Then what should I do? I said: Marry her. He said: Do you like that? I said: I am not the exclusive (wife) of yours; I, therefore, wish to join my sister in good. He, said: She is not lawful for me. I said: I have been informed that you have given the proposal of marriage to Durrah daughter of Abu Salama He raid: You mean the daughter of Umm Salama? I said: Yes. He said: Even if she had not been my step-daughter brought up under my guardianship, she would not have been lawful for me, for she is the daughter of my foster-brother (Hamza), for Thuwayba had suckled me and her father. So do not give me the proposal of the marriage of your daughters and sisters.
حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو كُرَيْبٍ، مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الْعَلاَءِ حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو أُسَامَةَ، أَخْبَرَنَا هِشَامٌ، أَخْبَرَنَا أَبِي، عَنْ زَيْنَبَ بِنْتِ أُمِّ سَلَمَةَ، عَنْ أُمِّ حَبِيبَةَ بِنْتِ أَبِي سُفْيَانَ، قَالَتْ دَخَلَ عَلَىَّ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ فَقُلْتُ لَهُ هَلْ لَكَ فِي أُخْتِي بِنْتِ أَبِي سُفْيَانَ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ أَفْعَلُ مَاذَا ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قُلْتُ تَنْكِحُهَا ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ أَوَتُحِبِّينَ ذَلِكَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قُلْتُ لَسْتُ لَكَ بِمُخْلِيَةٍ وَأَحَبُّ مَنْ شَرِكَنِي فِي الْخَيْرِ أُخْتِي ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ فَإِنَّهَا لاَ تَحِلُّ لِي ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قُلْتُ فَإِنِّي أُخْبِرْتُ أَنَّكَ تَخْطُبُ دُرَّةَ بِنْتَ أَبِي سَلَمَةَ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ بِنْتَ أُمِّ سَلَمَةَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قُلْتُ نَعَمْ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ لَوْ أَنَّهَا لَمْ تَكُنْ رَبِيبَتِي فِي حَجْرِي مَا حَلَّتْ لِي إِنَّهَا ابْنَةُ أَخِي مِنَ الرَّضَاعَةِ أَرْضَعَتْنِي وَأَبَاهَا ثُوَيْبَةُ فَلاَ تَعْرِضْنَ عَلَىَّ بَنَاتِكُنَّ وَلاَ أَخَوَاتِكُنَّ

TOPICS
marriage  *  proposal  *  fosterage  *  relationship

QUICK LESSONS:
Respect family relationships; Be aware of Islamic laws; Accept Allah’s will

EXPLANATIONS:
This hadith is about the Prophet Muhammad's refusal of a marriage proposal from Umm Habiba for her daughter. He refused because her daughter was related to him through fosterage. In this hadith we learn that it is not permissible in Islam for someone who has been fostered by another person or their family members to marry each other. This is an important lesson in Islamic law and shows us how important it is for us to be aware of our relationships with others and how they can affect our lives. We also learn from this hadith that even though we may want something very badly, if it goes against Islamic law then we must accept Allah's will and not pursue it further.

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