Bismillahi Ah-Rahman, Al-Rahim

Assalaam alaikum

I am over half way through Martin Lings Mohammad.  I am troubled by the many times in which the prophet (pbuh) seemed to marry the most beautiful girl of his conquests and had revelations telling him it was alright. That seems a little ironic to me.  Perhaps it is my western mind that finds the idea of more than one wife troubling. would someone please help me understand this. thank you in advance

The best of you is the best to his family and I am the best among you to my family.

The most perfect believers are the best in conduct and best of you are those who are best to their wives. (Ibn-Hanbal, No. 7396)

Sign*Reader wrote: Salaam Kay: I had recommended the Br. Ling's acclaimed book for it's beautiful language and unique narrative loved by all I have come across. Your point on his marriages should never be compared with the current western norm. Need a comparison look up the Prophets of the OT. What is page  # you have the issue with the author and we can discuss the appropriate detail for your edification. Rami and David's responses were just superb scholarship.

In respect to what has been written, I am focusing on a trival word-beauty- pg 168- Hafsa bint Umar described as beautiful and accomplished.

pg 213-Umm Salama described as a great beauty

pg 219 Zaynab bint Jash described as beautiful amd the Prophet(pbuh) was amazed by her beauty.

Pg 250 Juwaryirya, a captive- described as woman of great lovliness and beauty

pg 279 Safiyya bint Huyayy Captured in battle, described as beautiful-caused jealousy among other wives

pg 286-287 Maria al Qibitiyy- slave?? Prophet (pbuh) marveled at her beauty reavelation on banning.

I can see where some people would exploit the use of this word and cast doubt on the Prophet (pbuh) and his motives.  When i did a search for wives of Muhammad I got a list with motives and most were charity or political to cement relations with others. I don't really have a problem with more than one wife, but that word beautiful kept jumping out at me. 

Senekerk:

Please ask your questions in Islam for non-Muslim section. This thread will be moved there.

Peace

Salam Alaikom. Well, lets not forget that the prophet never wanted to marry after Khadija whom he greatly loved.

The main reason he married many women was that the Arabs were tribal people. They have been divided for hundreds of years. So he was afraid that after he dies, if he had only married one woman from one tribe the people would fight. The tribe boasting that he only married from them. So he married a woman from the biggest tribe so that there would be no problems between them. He didnt care about women (as in sexually) proof is that he was offered by the Quraish tribe to be their king and their richest one and to get all the women he wants as long as he gives up calling ppl to Islam. He refused and said that "I sware by the name of God oh uncle that if they place the moon in left hand and the sun in my right hand that I should leave this matter I did not leave it until God makes it triumph or I perish defending it".

Even his beloved wife Aisha reported that he could ignore sexual activity and all these things for an infinite amount of time. Prayer was all he cared about and "He was the living Quran".

Hope I cleared it up senekerk. So in conclusion the mainr eason was not to divide the Arabs and so that they wont have conflicts after his death. Keep in mind the Arabs would go to war over anything two tribes once went to war for 40 year over a goat. They had an argument who would have the goat! And killed each other for fourty years!

OK so he married to form bonds with Arab tribes, and he did not really want to marry and sex wasn't an issue so why did he marry beautiful women?

Sign*Reader wrote: senekerk wrote: OK so he married to form bonds with Arab tribes, and he did not really want to marry and sex wasn't an issue so why did he marry beautiful women? By asking this type of questions you are past the point of seeking into rude trolling and wasting the time and energies of sincere members of this forum. You have overlooked the rest of his grand performance and and being a picayunish on his personal life. Allah does not tolerate the rudeness to his messenger and doesn't care for someone who has pathetic ideas stuck into her head. IMHO the Satan is whispering this to nafs. My answer to your question is>>>>>>>> why not? I think your nafs (ego) will not be satisfied by any body when you let your wild imagination run into trivial non productive areas of such sort of seeking. I would suggest that other folks to stop answering this kind of nonsense. Arab: salaam  If I remember correctly that you are graduating from high school wants to study psychology, mashallah you have good knowledge of faith and you like to help and  inform the seekers. Ithink you are young and sincere but you know your efforts will well served for some one who is really seeking and not trolling.

I am truely sorry you think I am being rude. I am not a troll and my feeling are very hurt by your sarcasm.  I am 58 yrs old not graduating from high school and after reading about four wives who were described as beautiful I was a little put off by it.  The rest of the book is not a problem. and I know it is a trival point but somehow it makes Muhammad (pbuh) less prophet like and more male-like and I just want to understand.  I think an apology is owed

Arab wrote: He was a human being and who doesnt love beauty? Plus not al the woman he married were beatiful, many were and theres nothing wrong with that as I said who doesnt love beauty.

Thank you arab this is the answer I expected and I accept it

I guess the best answer is because Allah willed it.

Sign reader, i can not afford to hold a resentment over what you said I admit I was pickyunise and trite concerning the word beautiy please accept my apologies. i must let my hurt feelings go and let allah handle the situation

Regards Kay

senekerk wrote: Bismillahi Ah-Rahman, Al-Rahim Assalaam alaikum I am over half way through Martin Lings Mohammad.  I am troubled by the many times in which the prophet (pbuh) seemed to marry the most beautiful girl of his conquests and had revelations telling him it was alright. That seems a little ironic to me.  Perhaps it is my western mind that finds the idea of more than one wife troubling. would someone please help me understand this. thank you in advance

Greetings senekerk.

I am not sure what particular thing is troubling to you?

So it is wrong to marry more than one woman in your view?

So it is wrong for a man to be attracted to a woman who has some physical attribute that is pleasing to the eye?

Please clarify.

senekerk wrote: Sign*Reader wrote: Salaam Kay: I had recommended the Br. Ling's acclaimed book for it's beautiful language and unique narrative loved by all I have come across. Your point on his marriages should never be compared with the current western norm. Need a comparison look up the Prophets of the OT. What is page  # you have the issue with the author and we can discuss the appropriate detail for your edification. Rami and David's responses were just superb scholarship. In respect to what has been written, I am focusing on a trival word-beauty- pg 168- Hafsa bint Umar described as beautiful and accomplished. pg 213-Umm Salama described as a great beauty pg 219 Zaynab bint Jash described as beautiful amd the Prophet(pbuh) was amazed by her beauty. Pg 250 Juwaryirya, a captive- described as woman of great lovliness and beauty pg 279 Safiyya bint Huyayy Captured in battle, described as beautiful-caused jealousy among other wives pg 286-287 Maria al Qibitiyy- slave?? Prophet (pbuh) marveled at her beauty reavelation on banning. I can see where some people would exploit the use of this word and cast doubt on the Prophet (pbuh) and his motives.  When i did a search for wives of Muhammad I got a list with motives and most were charity or political to cement relations with others. I don't really have a problem with more than one wife, but that word beautiful kept jumping out at me.

So you would be happier if someone described them as ugly? Do you think that if any of them were ugly, that a companion would have transmitted that word in any form?

Look at Umm Salama.

She declined the Prophet's (saw) invitation for marriage because she was of age and already had 4 children!

senekerk wrote: OK so he married to form bonds with Arab tribes, and he did not really want to marry and sex wasn't an issue so why did he marry beautiful women?

So he should only choose ugly women? The leaders of other tribes should only offer ugly women?

Senekerk, I am not sure what your particular trouble is?

senekerk wrote: Sign reader, i can not afford to hold a resentment over what you said I admit I was pickyunise and trite concerning the word beautiy please accept my apologies. i must let my hurt feelings go and let allah handle the situation Regards Kay

senekerk,

some may seem to be quick to label you as a troll or missionary, etc. This is due to some of the ugly bashing that takes place in the internet. Please do keep up your investigation, and your questions, and keep your heart open to what you may find.

May God guid us all.

Bismillah..

Senekerk,

It is natural to have doubts at this stage, shaitan is working overtime after you. But you need to cast aside these doubts and concentrate on the bigger things. Say "aoozobillahi minash shaitanir rajeem". (I seek refuge in Allah from satan the rejected)

My brothers have explained so well to you that I have nothing to add. Keep reading quran (translation) and keep reading books on islam. MAy Allah help you find the true path.

wassalaam. 

I think senekerk is sincere in her questions  let her clear her doubts now better then having them latter and or forgetting about them and having them affect her uncontiouse mind. Senekerk, what you are having trouble with is what also many Muslims have troubles with. Not the prophets marriage, but understanding him. You see, at times he would behave as a normal human being, he gets married, he has conflicts with his wives and they make up etc. At times he would behave as a prophet, at times as a friend. We have to be able to understand these different parts of his life. For example, a conflict happened between two Muslims Al Zubair and another guy may Allah be pleased with them. So they went to the prophet for him to judge between them, and he told Zubair that it would be better for you if you did so and so. Zubair understood the different parts the prophet had so he asked him "is this an advice from a friend or is this the ruling of a prophet"? And the prophet said "no its an advice from a friend".

He had different parts of his life, and we have to know how to differ between them. For example, since he was a prophet and it would be better for us to imitate hm since he is our role model, should we also eat all that he ate and sleep like he slept etc. No these are personal things these are parts of his normal life as a human being we dont have to immitate them. So you have to be able to understand that he was a normal human being like us he used to get happy and get sad and laugh and joke and so on. If he didnt have these human urges that he had we would have said "well then how are we supposed to take him as a role model he didnt even have the urges we had". U know? So he was like us, but divinely inspired. A man, a ruler, a father, a husband, a friend, a prosecuted man, a politician, a negotiator, a single guy, a Prophet, a religious leader, a general, everything so that we would take him as a role model in everything but we have to understand the different aspects of his life. People study this at Islamic colleges for years and years, its hard for me and or you to understand this in one discussion. For example, there was a specific type of honey he didnt like because it would cause bad breath so he didnt use to eat it, can we eat it? Of course. He used to get sad and cry at times for example when his son Ibrahim died and when he was escaped Mecca, should we do the same thing if it happens to us and have the same reaction? We dont know because every human being has a different reaction. He is the best role model for us but he was still human and has the right to behave like one.

Look at Qu'ran 18:7-18:8 in the Asad translation and also in the Yusuf Ali translation.  The differences indicate we might benefit from going back to the Arabic  on this use of 'beauty'.

It could also be a idiomatic use too.  In American culture we always call brides and babies beautiful even though that might not be an objectve truth .  Perhaps the authors of the hadiths were simply being polite.

 Thank you for this explaination.

I think senekerk is sincere in her questions  let her clear her doubts now better then having them latter and or forgetting about them and having them affect her uncontiouse mind. Senekerk, what you are having trouble with is what also many Muslims have troubles with. Not the prophets marriage, but understanding him. You see, at times he would behave as a normal human being, he gets married, he has conflicts with his wives and they make up etc. At times he would behave as a prophet, at times as a friend. We have to be able to understand these different parts of his life.

Arab-i think you hit the nail on the head so to speak. Thank you for your time and explainations and support.

This site means alot to me and I learn very much from it.  It has been a positive experience for me and I don't want anything to hamper that. So bear with me while I ask my questions. Bismillah  Ar-Rahmaan Ar-Raheem this is what I cling to and try to emulate.

Peace

I had been away from the dscussions for the last few days and wondered about the reactions of muslims about the topic when I saw the heading. I am glad to see that everything is okay and peace has come back to the forum. I want to thank especially to Arab who grasped the subject strongly and narrated a very understandable, simple but rich paragraph about the view point of Islam towards the last prophet.

I read another book written by Lings however his perspective seemed to be covering the culture rather than having a deep insight into the religion itself. I hope I am not forcing the treshold of politeness by explaining this idea since I am certainly not a writer nor an authority about Mohammed's (sav) life. As a citizen of a developing country (as the developed say) I am well aware of that muslims will be bothered with similar questions either about Mohammed's private life or about some other issues which doesn't seem easily understandable by the western mind. These exercises will help the muslim to develop the way of thinking and deepen their sincere understanding of Islam and help newcomers pass over the obstacles of mind they encounter during the walk to the reality.

This discussion was an exciting one, thanks everybody for their contributions.

I hope Kay will not stuck on rough points but walk through the wider way of understanding. In time muslims learn more about life and about Allah and become closer to Allah so that rough points become smoother and questions find their answers one by one.

As salaam.

 on1on5 wrote: 

 I hope Kay will not stuck on rough points but walk through the wider way of understanding. In time muslims learn more about life and about Allah and become closer to Allah so that rough points become smoother and questions find their answers one by one.

There is a lot of truth in what you say.  I have been told acceptance is the answer to most of my problems.

Jamal thank you for the link. it was a good article

Salam Alaikom.. I also would like to add that (unfortanetly I cant findthe hadith humber for this, Im trying to find it) that the Prophet never saw any of his wives completely without clothing out of respect to them and never allowed any of them to see him in that way either. I will try and find the hadith humber insha Allah

As Salaam Alaikom

Arab, thank you for your kindness, but it is not necessary for you to find the hadith.  I am through this rough spot.  Your previous posts satisfied my questions.

Peace