Print Page | Close Window

i’m farting a lot

Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: General
Forum Name: General Discussion
Forum Description: General Discussion
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6985
Printed Date: 28 March 2024 at 4:55pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.03 - http://www.webwizforums.com


Topic: i’m farting a lot
Posted By: lost
Subject: i’m farting a lot
Date Posted: 29 September 2006 at 7:39am
and i have to go to work, and then masjid for friday prayer, but i've been farting so much, i've farted 3 times in the past 40 minutes. do i have to do wudu each time? my stomic hurts, i think i ate something bad in the morning.   



Replies:
Posted By: Suleyman
Date Posted: 29 September 2006 at 7:51am
..sorry but so funny


Posted By: lady
Date Posted: 29 September 2006 at 9:26am
You are just joking


Posted By: lost
Date Posted: 29 September 2006 at 6:16pm
you guys are mean 

it was so bad. i had to stay home as late as i could because i didn't want to go to masjid and do wudu there. the talking starts around 12:30 to 1, and thats when i usuually go, to listen. but today i was scared, i didn't want to go and fart with everyone around and then have to do wudu.

so i stayed home til the latest, 1:40. when i tried to do wudu, i had farted in the middle of my wudu, this happened a few times.

washing left hand
*FART*
start over
washing face
*FART*
start over
washing right feet
*FART*
start over
just as i finished my 3rd time on the left leg
*FART*

it was impossible, but i finally managed to finish wudu and ran to masjid. i was able to hold it in for 10 minutes while we prayed, and just as we turned out heads to salam, i had the feeling so i ran out, not wanting to fart in masjid. i ran outside and let out a silent one, but it was DEADLY!

the whole day today, i was farting right and left

i came to you guys for help, and you all laugh at me meanies!

i just wanted to know, did my wudu break each time i farted? isnt it like if you are sick, or have gas problems, farting wont break ur wudu?  if it happens to me again (probably will since i'm still farting stink bombs) will it break my wudu?

i hope not!

(but yea, it is kinda funny, this might seem like a big funny joke, but honest to Al'lah, its the truth) so stop laughing at me no matter how funny it may seem


Posted By: Shadi_Al-amin
Date Posted: 29 September 2006 at 8:15pm
Lol it is better to keep things like this to yourself  although the story was funny.


Posted By: ak_m_f
Date Posted: 29 September 2006 at 8:30pm
Originally posted by lost lost wrote:

you guys are mean�it was so bad. i had to stay home as late as i could because i didn't want to go to masjid and do wudu there. the talking starts around 12:30 to 1, and thats when i usuually go, to listen. but today i was scared, i didn't want to go and fart with everyone around and then have to do wudu.so i stayed home til the latest, 1:40. when i tried to do wudu, i had farted in the middle of my wudu, this happened a few times.washing left hand*FART*start overwashing face*FART*start overwashing right feet*FART*start overjust as i finished my 3rd time on the left leg*FART*it was impossible, but i finally managed to finish wudu and ran to masjid. i was able to hold it in for 10 minutes while we prayed, and just as we turned out heads to salam, i had the feeling so i ran out, not wanting to fart in masjid. i ran outside and let out a silent one, but it was DEADLY!the whole day today, i was farting right and left i came to you guys for help, and you all laugh at me meanies!i just wanted to know, did my wudu break each time i farted? isnt it like if you are sick, or have gas problems, farting wont break ur wudu?� if it happens to me again (probably will since i'm still farting stink bombs) will it break my wudu? i hope not!(but yea, it is kinda funny, this might seem like a big funny joke, but honest to Al'lah, its the truth) so stop laughing at me no matter how funny it may seem


Brother, in future dont post information abuot your Chemical weapons program.

Please contact your local intelligence service, you will be added to the list of possible terrorist targets. your protection is our survival.

Can you imagine the consequences that your fart will unleash if some terrorist get hold of it!?


Hang in there, CIA is sending HAZMAT team to secure your farts.

meanwhile stay in an isolated room and anyone who approaches you should be protected by Level 4 HAZMAT suit.


Posted By: lost
Date Posted: 29 September 2006 at 8:46pm
Originally posted by Shadi_Al-amin Shadi_Al-amin wrote:

Lol it is better to keep things like this to yourself  although the story was funny.
thats the good thing about the internet. no1 knows me :-P


u guys r so mean
this is the last time i ask you all for help


Posted By: Suleyman
Date Posted: 30 September 2006 at 12:31am

Brother if you are farting so strongly and not if it is not avoidable then you should only have your wudu after the azan then your wudu is valid till to finishing your pray...

This is the easyness Islam gave to you...ws..

 



Posted By: Daniel Dworsky
Date Posted: 30 September 2006 at 1:48am
Thank You for sharing


Posted By: Suleyman
Date Posted: 30 September 2006 at 4:58am

Originally posted by Daniel Dworsky Daniel Dworsky wrote:

Thank You for sharing

Brother i think you are suffering from the same problem...

Let me tell you a little stroy including a pic...

There is a mountain which i climb there at every summer,there are more or less 6 spring water holes on the apex that they spread world's wonderful pure water over 5 Centigrade degrees,but one of the source spreads gasy water normally you can't realize how it is gasy if you did not drink...This is my favorite source because it is more pure than the others and also more tasty....

I normally full bottles with this gasy water and carry to my summer home because it helps to digesting easily bcs of my mom needs so much of it tho she avoids in recent years form the side effects of it...

One day,my big brother who is 48 years old,came at to the summer house for one night vacation and he drank it without knowing the side effects...

...it was in the middle of the night,normally the birds were loving to sleep on the trees in my garden but none of them was at there that night...the 48 years old man entered to his mom's room with a crying mode saying mommy Mommy something happens so huge in me...we were knowing the huge things happening inside and the impact of the blasts that the birds were flew away to the other side of the village for finding a more silent place to sleep....

Here is the pics of the spring water source:

http://outdoors.webshots.com/photo/2746074020067680394FNdonQ - [img=http://thumb14.webshots.net/t/59/159/0/74/2/27460740200 67680394FNdonQ_th.jpg -

Note,you can only full your bottle under of the big rock where the pure water moves up to to sky,the other parts are durative that can't be used...

 

 



Posted By: Suleyman
Date Posted: 30 September 2006 at 5:00am
Can't be used because at the middle of the nights the wild pigs make beauty baths inside of it...Lol...i should live in Texas i am an real cowboy


Posted By: Daniel Dworsky
Date Posted: 30 September 2006 at 5:30am
Originally posted by Suleyman Suleyman wrote:

[QUOTE=Daniel Dworsky]Thank You for sharing[/
QUOTE]


Brother i think you are suffering from the same
problem...


Let me tell you a little stroy including a pic...[/
COLOR>


There is a mountain which i climb there at every
summer,there are more or less 6 spring water holes on the apex that they
spread world's wonderful pure water over 5 Centigrade degrees,but one
of the source spreads gasy water normally you can't realize how it is gasy
if you�did not drink...This is my favorite source because it is more pure
than the others and also more tasty....


I normally full bottles with this gasy water and carry
to my summer�home because it helps to digesting easily bcs�of my�mom
needs so much of it tho she avoids in recent years form the side effects of
it...


One day,my big brother who is 48 years old,came�at
to�the summer house for one night vacation�and he drank it without
knowing the side effects...


...it was in the middle of the night,normally the
birds were loving to sleep on the trees in my garden but none of them
was at there that night...the 48 years old man entered to his mom's room
with a crying mode�saying mommy Mommy something happens so huge
in me...we were knowing the huge things happening inside and the
impact of the blasts that the birds were flew away to the other side of the
village for finding a more silent place to sleep....


Here is the pics of the spring water�source:


http://outdoors.webshots.com/photo/
2746074020067680394FNdonQ
- [img=http://thumb14.webshots.net/t/
59/159/0/74/2/27460740200 67680394FNdonQ_th.jpg
-


Note,you can only full your bottle under of the
big�rock where the pure water�moves up to to sky,the other parts are
durative that can't be used...





Okay, Now who's been Talking?

Bro I'm thinking of taking my family for a vacation in Turkey.
Can you tell me which resutrants to avoid...

I can't believe this conversation


Posted By: lady
Date Posted: 30 September 2006 at 5:52am
I am sorry lost.  I thought that you were joking.  But since you swore to Allah(SWT),it is my duty to believe you.  I am assuming that you are a male, because women would not do this.  My advice for you is to train yourself.  I assume that  you normally do this because there is no reason for you to not have more control of yourself.  Are you eating lots of gasy foods, such as onions, beans, eggs, etc.  Try to avoid any gasy foods from you diet.  If you are not familiar with the ones that are more common, then google search them and avoid them.  We all need to keep bad smells from our environment and from yourself as a human being.  I am not saying that this is not normal, but I assume that you do not normally have control over yourself, and now that you are doing it more, it is hard to control it.  Practice control.  That is my advice.  Hope this helps.


Posted By: Suleyman
Date Posted: 30 September 2006 at 7:19am
Originally posted by Daniel Dworsky Daniel Dworsky wrote:

Originally posted by Suleyman Suleyman wrote:

[QUOTE=Daniel Dworsky]Thank You for sharing[/
QUOTE]


Brother i think you are suffering from the same
problem...


Let me tell you a little story including a pic...[/
COLOR>


There is a mountain which i climb there at every
summer,there are more or less 6 spring water holes on the apex that they
spread world's wonderful pure water over 5 Centigrade degrees,but one
of the source spreads gasy water normally you can't realize how it is gasy
if you did not drink...This is my favorite source because it is more pure
than the others and also more tasty....


I normally full bottles with this gasy water and carry
to my summer home because it helps to digesting easily bcs of my mom
needs so much of it tho she avoids in recent years form the side effects of
it...


One day,my big brother who is 48 years old,came at
to the summer house for one night vacation and he drank it without
knowing the side effects...


...it was in the middle of the night,normally the
birds were loving to sleep on the trees in my garden but none of them
was at there that night...the 48 years old man entered to his mom's room
with a crying mode saying mommy Mommy something happens so huge
in me...we were knowing the huge things happening inside and the
impact of the blasts that the birds were flew away to the other side of the
village for finding a more silent place to sleep....


Here is the pics of the spring water source:


http://outdoors.webshots.com/photo/
59/159/0/74/2/27460740200 67680394FNdonQ_th.jpg">


Note,you can only full your bottle under of the
big rock where the pure water moves up to to sky,the other parts are
durative that can't be used...


 


 



Okay, Now who's been Talking?

Bro I'm thinking of taking my family for a vacation in Turkey.
Can you tell me which resutrants to avoid...

I can't believe this conversation

Believe man, believe deeply, here is a banker so much bored from the week that missed his childhood days,i can tease on every point...

Daniel if you come to Turkey please have your hotel room seperated from your wife,we prefer marvellous tastes rather than Italian Kitchen eating and sulking...no way if you come here please be ready...in here if one not farts we call him the death or damned...

I remembered a funny story,

On of my relative was suffering from cancer and after the operation the doctor left a notice to us if he farts he will live and if he will not farts in 8 hours be assure that the operated bowels are not working and this is the end of the road i can not do any more...then we began to listen in his room if he will fart or not,if one was begins to talk all in the room will warning him with sssttt!!!,keep your silence we should hear him...

Then a fart heard then everybody began to giver party with oleyyy cheers...

The doctor came and made a speech that he will live that this fart poves that job being done...

Then in three days the man died...

A confess came from my uncle:"Sorry it was me the one farted"....

 

Daniel when you come to Turkey please do not eat from the streets,also please do not enter to cheap restaurants go to the best and have the best,i have a word " i am not as rich as to buy a cheap product"...take care... 



Posted By: ak_m_f
Date Posted: 30 September 2006 at 10:54am
Quote
I am assuming that you are a male, because women would not do this.


This is a sexist statement!


Posted By: Suleyman
Date Posted: 30 September 2006 at 11:19am

Originally posted by ak_m_f ak_m_f wrote:

Quote
I am assuming that you are a male, because women would not do this.


This is a sexist statement!

No Mr.Ak,this is not an sexist statement,

-Don't  the men THEY polish their noses to the backside of the sofa while watching tv?,do you know any male who stands up and go to the bathroom for cleaning his nose instead of polishing to the sofa with hidden ways while watching the football cup?

-Don't the men urinates while standing and little yellow drops comes on to their trousers?

-Yes she is right,we are the only created ones who can play with their noses and fart infront of the public area also smiling while in dialogue...

-Don't we the men have the tashes we drop into the meals while eating?,did not you see a man drinking an soup and his tash is wet of it?...

Brother Ak,should i tell more or do you agree with me that we are the ones who are really.... 



Posted By: ZEA J
Date Posted: 30 September 2006 at 8:40pm

Originally posted by lady lady wrote:

  I am assuming that you are a male, because women would not do this. 

....



-------------
"You will never attain piety and righteousness,(and eventually paradise)until you
spend of that which you love."(Al-Imran:92)


Posted By: Daniel Dworsky
Date Posted: 30 September 2006 at 11:12pm
ak_mf_ takes it right to the edge always but you Suleyman - you jump right
off without a parachute. What's got into you?
We are full into Yom Kippur here in a couple hours. The whole country is
winding to a stop. The kids are looking forward to getting the bikes out to
the free ways as there is no motorised traffic. If you dare drive your car on
the highway a black clad religious person will put a rock through your
windshield BTPLH (bless their pointed little heads)
Ramadan Mubarakh To quote Louis Armstrong of blessed memory
"Love Baby, Love. Yessssss. If we all jus' loved each othah This world could
be a Gasser" Although I think that he and lost were on a different page


Posted By: Mighty FOI
Date Posted: 01 October 2006 at 3:00am

Thanks for the laugh, I need that...



-------------
T.B.M.I.G.


Posted By: Daniel Dworsky
Date Posted: 01 October 2006 at 5:24am
Anytime bro but I'm worried about Suleyman He sounds lately like there may
be a gas leak in his house...
Throw open some window man before it's too late!


Posted By: UmmAmara
Date Posted: 01 October 2006 at 6:48am
Originally posted by Suleyman Suleyman wrote:

No Mr.Ak,this is not an sexist statement,

-Don't  the men THEY polish their noses to the backside of the sofa while watching tv?,do you know any male who stands up and go to the bathroom for cleaning his nose instead of polishing to the sofa with hidden ways while watching the football cup?

-Don't the men urinates while standing and little yellow drops comes on to their trousers?

-Yes she is right,we are the only created ones who can play with their noses and fart infront of the public area also smiling while in dialogue...

-Don't we the men have the tashes we drop into the meals while eating?,did not you see a man drinking an soup and his tash is wet of it?...

Brother Ak,should i tell more or do you agree with me that we are the ones who are really.... 



I fell of my chair reading this..... what i would do if many men were like u!


-------------
Acquisition of knowledge requires a great deal of patience and hardwork.


Posted By: Suleyman
Date Posted: 01 October 2006 at 7:25am
Originally posted by UmmAmara UmmAmara wrote:

Originally posted by Suleyman Suleyman wrote:

No Mr.Ak,this is not an sexist statement,

-Don't  the men THEY polish their noses to the backside of the sofa while watching tv?,do you know any male who stands up and go to the bathroom for cleaning his nose instead of polishing to the sofa with hidden ways while watching the football cup?

-Don't the men urinates while standing and little yellow drops comes on to their trousers?

-Yes she is right,we are the only created ones who can play with their noses and fart infront of the public area also smiling while in dialogue...

-Don't we the men have the tashes we drop into the meals while eating?,did not you see a man drinking an soup and his tash is wet of it?...

Brother Ak,should i tell more or do you agree with me that we are the ones who are really.... 



I fell of my chair reading this..... what i would do if many men were like u!

Sorry but i described the sex i belong in i was not talking about me.......



Posted By: mariyah
Date Posted: 01 October 2006 at 7:45am

Mashallah!, get some GAS X, chemical name simethicone!

 

Or, get a gas mask!



-------------
"Every good deed is charity whether you come to your brother's assistance or just greet him with a smile.


Posted By: ak_m_f
Date Posted: 01 October 2006 at 10:25am
Originally posted by Daniel Dworsky Daniel Dworsky wrote:

Anytime bro but I'm worried about Suleyman He sounds lately like there may
be a gas leak in his house...
Throw open some window man before it's too late!


Hope he dosnt smokes...


Posted By: Suleyman
Date Posted: 01 October 2006 at 11:17am

Okey guys,today is Sunday Night and i am turning to my serious mode till to Friday 05:00pm....for your considerations.

Sincerely yours,



Posted By: aramuh
Date Posted: 02 October 2006 at 1:26pm

Originally posted by lost lost wrote:

Originally posted by Shadi_Al-amin Shadi_Al-amin wrote:

Lol it is better to keep things like this to yourself  although the story was funny.
thats the good thing about the internet. no1 knows me :-P


u guys r so mean
this is the last time i ask you all for help

Lots of flatulence can be serious -if its not cleared by now I suggest getting medical advice.  Try clearing out your bowels - plenty of honey with warm water does wonders as a laxative and this is the perfect time since it is Ramadan to start a better diet to avoid this problem in the future.  If it stinks then you need to watch your food combinations for a bit.  Eg fruit on an empty stomach then veges then bread/nuts then meats for example.  These foods all have different rates for digestion.  If you eat one type of food that digests quickly (like fruit) on top of say bread  then the fruit just ferments in the stomach and intestines and produces smelly gas.  A meal of fruit/veges and meats or a meal of bread and veges are better combinations than eating everything together in one go.  Also it pays to wait a good three to four hours before every meal.

 



Posted By: Angela
Date Posted: 02 October 2006 at 1:43pm

Don't say a woman would never do this...

Ever heard of the walking farts?????  I've seen old ladies with walkers that could be deadly.

But, as for poor Bro Lost.  They are right, avoid gassy foods and seek a doctors advice.  If you're really having this problem, it could be a sign of a more serious issue.

My sister's life was saved because of a similar problem, she went in for help and the doctor did and exam and found cancerous pulips.  They were not causing the problem but they were found because she complained to a doctor about her problem.  God might be warning you of something more dangerous than a little gas.

 

 



Posted By: aramuh
Date Posted: 02 October 2006 at 1:49pm
Originally posted by Angela Angela wrote:

Don't say a woman would never do this...

Ever heard of the walking farts?????  I've seen old ladies with walkers that could be deadly.

But, as for poor Bro Lost.  They are right, avoid gassy foods and seek a doctors advice.  If you're really having this problem, it could be a sign of a more serious issue.

My sister's life was saved because of a similar problem, she went in for help and the doctor did and exam and found cancerous pulips.  They were not causing the problem but they were found because she complained to a doctor about her problem.  God might be warning you of something more dangerous than a little gas.

 

 

This is so true - there is also such a thing as a woman's fart which can sometimes be indicative of a prolapse or other such "feminine" problems.

 All about education really...

Peace



Posted By: ak_m_f
Date Posted: 02 October 2006 at 2:23pm
no wonder its a silent killer....


Posted By: Hanan
Date Posted: 02 October 2006 at 9:20pm

Ever heard of the walking farts?????  I've seen old ladies with walkers that could be deadly.

Angela, why you talk about me!

lost, how are you feeling today? Do you still have that problem? Hopefully it was just temporary, and if not than you really should see your phycisian.



Posted By: lovetabuleh
Date Posted: 02 October 2006 at 9:59pm

OOH MY ALLAH!!� you guys are helarious!�


the first thing that came to my mind from Lost's inquirey�was maybe there is�gallbladder problem.�


if you have symptoms of�the�four "F's"�then more than likely you have a gallbladder infection and must get surgery to take gallstones out or there might be an infection in there.


The 4 "F": if�you are FEMALE, FAT, over FORTY, and experiencing extreme�FLATULANCE (farting), then go to the doc and get your gallbladder checked.�



it's a simple procedure, quick and easy.� :)� no worries,





Posted By: candid
Date Posted: 03 October 2006 at 12:25am

I know a joke:

Once an American, a Russian and an Indian met in a cathedral. Soon their converstaion turned towards  as to who can fart the strongest. They decided to compete.

First the American farted. He farted so loudly that all the glasses in the windows of the cathedral broke up.

Next, it the Russian's turn. He farted so strongly that the entire cathedral blew up and the sound was heard from great distances. However, the Statue of God remained unaffected. It was hailed  as a miracle by the Chrisitians.

Next, the Indian farted and even the Hand of God started moving to hold His nose.



Posted By: Angel
Date Posted: 03 October 2006 at 12:55am
Originally posted by Angela Angela wrote:

But, as for poor Bro Lost.  They are right, avoid gassy foods and seek a doctors advice.  If you're really having this problem, it could be a sign of a more serious issue.

I agree with Angela.



-------------
~ Our feet are earthbound, but our hearts and our minds have wings ~


Posted By: najamsahar
Date Posted: 03 October 2006 at 3:41am

For starters, treat the gas as angela suggested, avoinding gassy foods. Dont eat beans!

1)you can try taking "beano", it s a nonprescription pill, available in all pharmacies.

2) If you can find ENO, its a powder that you mix in water and drink, its very fizzy. works great

3) if none are available, ask you pharmacist to suggest something.

During fasting, if you have a lot of gas,...... You need to do sit ups. Maybe 10 or 15, it will get the gut going and you will fart in the next  20 mins and will be all done.

NS



Posted By: ummziba
Date Posted: 03 October 2006 at 4:23am
Well, maybe it is just because I am old, but I find the "f" word very disturbing (as in rude, crude, rather harsh).  Perhaps we could rather use "passing gas" or "passing wind" or the more medical term "flatulence".........

-------------
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words...they break my soul ~


Posted By: lovetabuleh
Date Posted: 03 October 2006 at 8:15am
Originally posted by candid candid wrote:


I know a joke:


Once an American, a Russian and an Indian met in a cathedral. Soon their converstaion turned towards� as to who can fart the strongest. They decided to compete.


First the American farted. He farted so loudly that all the glasses in the windows of the cathedral broke up.


Next, it the Russian's turn. He farted so strongly that the entire cathedral blew up and the sound�was�heard from great distances. However, the Statue of God remained unaffected. It was hailed� as a miracle by the Chrisitians.


Next, the Indian farted and even the Hand of God started moving to hold His nose.





�� ummm...       �� ;       ��� ;       ��� ;       ��� ;       ��� ;       ��� ;    nevermind,



Posted By: lovetabuleh
Date Posted: 03 October 2006 at 8:26am

it's probably a gallbladder problem ppl.    Maybe Lost could tell us if those 4 'F' criterias fit her/him then we could deduce cause for this extreme flatullance.  (unless this guy's a phoney and is just wanting to have a little fun with the islamicity gang...  )

 

so Lost,...

 



Posted By: Nazarene
Date Posted: 09 June 2009 at 5:49am
assalaamLOL
 
 sorry i just had to post a reply to bring this to the front of the list. i laughed so hard i started to cry. i think i hurt myself.
leland


-------------
love for all conquers all


Posted By: Shasta'sAunt
Date Posted: 09 June 2009 at 12:23pm
Originally posted by amalhayati2 amalhayati2 wrote:

it's probably a gallbladder problem ppl.    Maybe Lost could tell us if those 4 'F' criterias fit her/him then we could deduce cause for this extreme flatullance.  (unless this guy's a phoney and is just wanting to have a little fun with the islamicity gang...  )

 

so Lost,...

 

 
The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind......


-------------
�No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.�
Eleanor Roosevelt


Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 09 June 2009 at 1:23pm
...so how about the Los Angeles Lakers this year?  Think Kobe can finally get a ring without the big guy - Shaq O'Neal? 


Posted By: Shasta'sAunt
Date Posted: 09 June 2009 at 4:12pm
[QUOTE=abuayisha]...so how about the Los Angeles Lakers this year?  Think Kobe can finally get a ring without the big guy - Shaq O'Neal?  [/QUOTE
 
I don't know. I know the Magic are down 2, and are hurting without Nelson, but a little voice is telling me not to count them out. What an upset that would be!!!


-------------
�No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.�
Eleanor Roosevelt


Posted By: lovetabuleh
Date Posted: 09 June 2009 at 7:34pm
Originally posted by Shasta'sAunt Shasta'sAunt wrote:

The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind......
 
wow... i asked that question in October of '06.  Stern%20Smile
 
imagine that!  lol    it's kinda embarrassing actually Embarrassed


Posted By: Gulliver
Date Posted: 10 June 2009 at 1:26am
 
 
Any wonder you were 'lost'.  
 
Ever hear of a butt plug ?
 
Pound of lard and a butt plug is the cure for uncontrollable flatulence. The kind that leaves you red faced and kills sparrows stone dead.
 
Just slip one in, butt plug, not a stone dead sparrow - go about your business, and when you're feeling kinda full - you just take yourself to some discreet little place, preferably where there are no horses (they are sensitive creatures and frighten easily ) - pop out the plug and....
 
pppppffffffffffffffffffrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrppppppppppphhhhhhhhhhhhttttttttttttttttttttttt
 
 
 
.........let rip and tear till your heart's content. 
 
That sense of relief will give you such an overwhelming feeling of peace, you'll think you are having an out of body experience.
 
Then slip the little plug back in again, and go about your business with a big smile on your face and a song in your heart.
 
You can get them for 3 pence piece at http:/www.fartbusters.com
 
Was Shasta told me about 'em.  I don't have that problem myself ;-)
 


Posted By: Shasta'sAunt
Date Posted: 10 June 2009 at 3:44pm
"Was Shasta told me about 'em.  I don't have that problem myself ;-)"
 
Butt I've never heard of such a thing. I think you're just blowing hot air.
 
 
 


-------------
�No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.�
Eleanor Roosevelt


Posted By: lovetabuleh
Date Posted: 10 June 2009 at 5:54pm
Originally posted by Gulliver Gulliver wrote:



Any wonder you were 'lost'.��


Ever hear of a butt plug ?


Pound of lard and a butt plug is the cure for uncontrollable flatulence. The�kind that�leaves you red faced and kills sparrows stone dead.


Just slip one in, butt plug, not a stone dead sparrow�- go about your business, and when you're feeling kinda full - you just take yourself to some discreet little place, preferably where there are no horses (they are sensitive creatures and frighten easily�) - pop out the plug and....


pppppffffffffffffffffffrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrppppppppppphhhhhhhhhhhhttttttttttttttttttttttt




.........let rip and tear till your heart's content.�


That sense of relief will give you such an overwhelming feeling of peace, you'll think you are having an out of body experience.


Then slip the little plug back in again, and go about your business with a big smile on your face and a song in your heart.


You can get them for 3 pence piece at http:/www.fartbusters.com


Was Shasta told me about 'em.� I don't have that problem myself ;-)



who're you talking to? I don't think Lost has been here since he/she posted that ridiculous farting email.      

my question was in response to Lost's flatulence . I asked it in '06.



Posted By: Gulliver
Date Posted: 11 June 2009 at 1:54am
 
Sincere apologies Amalhayati.  It was meant for that person. A little light hearted 'wind' is needed from time to time. Laughter some times is the best medicine.
 
I have a Muslim friend who 'farted like a trooper'.  I was mortified.  I asked him about it when it seemed to settle a bit. He says, "Oh that was me in my Actimel period." (a yoghurt drink).   The excuses some people use.
 
 
 


Posted By: lovetabuleh
Date Posted: 11 June 2009 at 6:55am
*rolls eyes*       nice to know...

"A sense of humor may serve as a buffer against the shocks of disappointment" -James Russell Lowell


Posted By: Chrysalis
Date Posted: 11 June 2009 at 7:56am
Sahih Bukhari, 8.68

Narrated `Abdullah bin Zam`a: The Prophet forbade laughing at a person who passes wind. . .


-------------
"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."


Posted By: Gulliver
Date Posted: 11 June 2009 at 8:06am
 
Is that a joke, Chrys ?  It can be pretty offensive. But some times you cannot but laugh.
 
"Nomatter where you be.........   let your wind blow free." 
 
A leprechaun called Sean O Driscoll.  ;-)
 
Such a conversation.  This place has gone to the dogs ;-)


Posted By: Chrysalis
Date Posted: 11 June 2009 at 8:17am

Gulliver: Not at all. Its part of basic islamic ettiquette, and is an actual hadith that I recalled when I read the topic. Smile. It was also not meant as a rebuke to anyone at all! Just sharing a hadith on the subject.

 
 


-------------
"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."


Posted By: believer
Date Posted: 11 June 2009 at 2:11pm
great thread!!
 
member_profile.asp?PF=51715&FID=29 - ummziba   - At my kids grade school they called farting, fluffering!!  the kids wouldn't say I just farted, but I just fluffered.
 
Sometimes milk can make you very gassy if you are lactose intolerant.  Also pop- carbonated drinks.


-------------
John 3
16"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.


Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 11 June 2009 at 5:33pm
"great thread!!"  Yeah, once again, what about the NBA - Lakers and Magic?  If ever there was a thread worthy of derailing.....


Posted By: lovetabuleh
Date Posted: 11 June 2009 at 7:01pm
Originally posted by abuayisha abuayisha wrote:

  If ever there was a thread worthy of derailing.....
 
...yes, this would definately be one of 'em.   
 
Lakers?  i'm not fond of watching sports, but soon i'll be see the headlines of who did what during the game


Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 11 June 2009 at 10:08pm
Big night for Fisher.  Lakers go up 3-1.


Posted By: Sign*Reader
Date Posted: 11 June 2009 at 10:19pm
And don't forget Ariza...

-------------
Kismet Domino: Faith/Courage/Liberty/Abundance/Selfishness/Immorality/Apathy/Bondage or extinction.


Posted By: Gulliver
Date Posted: 12 June 2009 at 2:20am
 
Such a conversation.  You lot should be locked up in a methane factory and made to inhale deeply. The american footballers ;-)


Posted By: Shasta'sAunt
Date Posted: 12 June 2009 at 10:36am
Originally posted by abuayisha abuayisha wrote:

"great thread!!"  Yeah, once again, what about the NBA - Lakers and Magic?  If ever there was a thread worthy of derailing.....
 
I just think Kobe is overrated. Bring back the REAL stars, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Wilt Chamberlain, Julius Irving, Kareem Abdul Jabar, and the king: Michael Jordan. Those guys revolutionized basketball and changed the game forever.


-------------
�No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.�
Eleanor Roosevelt


Posted By: Sign*Reader
Date Posted: 14 June 2009 at 11:28pm
Well it is final now...

-------------
Kismet Domino: Faith/Courage/Liberty/Abundance/Selfishness/Immorality/Apathy/Bondage or extinction.


Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 15 June 2009 at 7:20pm
"I just think Kobe is overrated."  You're kidding right?  He's an exceptional player by all standards (except the rape charge), however I agree that he is commercially hyped, but at the end of the day NBA is in the entertainment business.


Posted By: Gulliver
Date Posted: 16 June 2009 at 1:34am
 
 
From farting     to american basket ball playing rapists.
 
 
Sublime to the ridiculous.
 
What religion is this again ?   ;-)
 


Posted By: Gulliver
Date Posted: 16 June 2009 at 1:37am
 
"they called farting, fluffering!!         .............wouldn't say, 'I just farted', but 'I just fluffered.'
 
Utterly vile. Dreadfully vulgar.
 
Here they'd say, "I think I just tore a hole in me nether regions".


Posted By: Shasta'sAunt
Date Posted: 16 June 2009 at 10:18am
Originally posted by abuayisha abuayisha wrote:

"I just think Kobe is overrated."  You're kidding right?  He's an exceptional player by all standards (except the rape charge), however I agree that he is commercially hyped, but at the end of the day NBA is in the entertainment business.
 
Kobe is king now because there is no other. If Shaq were still in the game, who would wear the crown?
 
Being the best means being the best because you are better than the rest, not by default. He is a great player, but he's no Michael Jordan.


-------------
�No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.�
Eleanor Roosevelt


Posted By: believer
Date Posted: 18 June 2009 at 6:08am

Gulliver - ROFL!!  LOL!!



-------------
John 3
16"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.


Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 18 June 2009 at 6:49am
Kobe is king now because there is no other. If Shaq were still in the game, who would wear the crown?
 
Being the best means being the best because you are better than the rest, not by default. He is a great player, but he's no Michael Jordan.

Ahh they are all overrated in their own way. I agree if there is a dominant center still around they will rule.

Kobe is an exceptional player just dysfunctional in many other ways. Such is life.


-------------
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi


Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 18 June 2009 at 6:19pm
It's been said that 75% of American families are dysfunctional and the rest are in denial.Smile


Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 18 June 2009 at 7:56pm
I agree Abuaysiha.. lol

-------------
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi


Posted By: Shaik Speare
Date Posted: 16 July 2010 at 12:53pm
Farting is such sweet sorrow.



Print Page | Close Window

Forum Software by Web Wiz Forums® version 12.03 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Copyright ©2001-2019 Web Wiz Ltd. - https://www.webwiz.net