Ask Dr. Aslam - Marital problems

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Marital problems

Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: Religion - Islam
Forum Name: Ask Dr. Aslam
Forum Description: You can ask questions related to Islam to Dr. Aslam Abdullah.
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=43767
Printed Date: 25 April 2024 at 12:47pm
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Topic: Marital problems

Posted By: Dunya22
Subject: Marital problems
Date Posted: 01 December 2018 at 6:27pm

Asalamu 3aleikum, my husband of 8 years has recently lost his job leading him to not have drive for anything anymore.. he goes from being worried I’m going to leave him to hit caring and saying to me “I want a divorce” when arguments happen about his work ethic or ills and rent! He also has always been verbally abusive and has always pt me down with his words ... in this situation I get a bipolar attitude from him and the verbal abuse comes out all over again! I have a issue with myself... I tend to chase after him even tho he’s definetly in the wrong and I can’t relax or just sit still cuz of my worries I have also lately been wanting to leave him or have wonder in my head how my life would have been with someone else I even at times just want to find someone else! Please help me cope with this situation I need guidance and I need an idea on how I can become more independent and not need him financially.. I have 3 kids one who is a 6 month old and I nurse so for me to work it seems impossible! I vowed to myself once I can work and stand up on my two feet I will leave him! He has brought so much hate out of me towards him I can’t even sleep in the same room as him anymore!

Replies:

Posted By: Dr. Aslam
Date Posted: 14 March 2019 at 4:33pm

Salam,

Please support him with your words at this moment of trial. He has lost job and he feels embarassed and he needs to be reassured for his ability to find another job. Support him. Avoid confrontation. In the meantime try to develop some skills that might enable you to stand on your own feet.

Aslam

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Best Regards,
Aslam Abdullah