Islam for non-Muslims - Process of conversion

I have been interested in Islam since I first saw a fellow youth gymnast from Saudia Arabia in 1988do his morning prayer at an international camp in the USA. Something about it stuck me as authentic and grounding. I remember other gymnasts joking about what he was doing later on but it wasn't funny. Many years later I took a sociology of religion course in college and that got my spiritual motor running again, but I was raised Catholic and I really rebelled from God and all the guilt layering, shaming, and the priests who lacked inspiration and luster that would later see in some practicing Muslims and in the life of the Prophet Mohammed PBOH. I left all the god stuff and studied Buddhism for years . I partook in intensive meditation retreats (who I believe the Prophet Muhammed PBOH did ) and it brought me come to a new understanding of God/ Allah and what that means.

Many cultural roadblocks are present which I am allowing to stop my conversion.I am caucasian male living in a prodominently christian, atheist area. We have a pretty large muslim population but many are first generation Americans from all around the world. I have been to the mosque and was treated great but could tell that I was seen as " hey this white guy is lost" and these days being what they are there are a lot of crazy white males doing psyco stuff so I'd be nervous too. The cultural gaps, learning the prayers, learning arabic, learning how to pray, explaining to my wife and co workers what I am doing all sounds very difficult. I don't want to create disharmony with those that I love just because I want to practice being closer to god and expressing it externally through prayer. I am doing it now by myself kinda in secret and I feel it in my heart. But people are so quick to put labels on you, and things, and then you become more alien to them even though you are greater and more present then before.