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Non Muslim and Muslim relationships

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Category: Religion - Islam
Forum Name: Ask Dr. Aslam
Forum Description: You can ask questions related to Islam to Dr. Aslam Abdullah.
Printed Date: 18 August 2019 at 12:09pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 11.10 -

Topic: Non Muslim and Muslim relationships
Posted By: Ali2012
Subject: Non Muslim and Muslim relationships
Date Posted: 02 May 2018 at 4:50pm
Hi I'm writing in as a non Muslim who has been with a Muslim and have a child with this person as the non Muslim you may think that to have a family was my idea you would be wrong the thing that made me believe this person was a good kind person and would be a wonderful father and husband was how he spoke of his faith when we met and dated being a first relationship of any kind I couldn't believe my luck in meeting a person so kind but that all changed I started to realise the more I've learnt of the Muslim faith the more it was a facade because i realise that if this person was true of muslim faith he wouldn't want to start a family out of marriage with the promise of marriage nor would he not provide or be any kind of parent to a child he claimed to want. I have read lots and studied lots trying to understand and no where have I found that it says the right thing is to abandon or tell very bad lies or hide be deceitful I had found I was not his first relationship nor first person he said he would marry I found him on unsavoury websites that made me feel sick.I have since learned that his whole family have gone to prison for money fraud,no matter what he doesn't want to give up the deceitful lifestyle I naively didn't believe that a person would go through and meet a family and tell them he's going to marry a women be a good father to their child and not mean it,when I wanted the right way he convinced me that meant I didn't love him enough or trust him enough to put my business and degree on hold to become his wife and mother of his child I know that now in the first instance he would not done any of the things he has if his faith meant anything to him,my wish is that he does find faith real faith not to keep up appearances faith but real unquestionable faith to help him be a better father and a better man we had a nikkah only but that didn't really mean anything he has never lived with or provided for.I believed that he would be the first and last man in my life to care for and love nourish a family with and I haven't been able to give up on that I believe no matter your faith you must be true and honest about your values in life to make life better for others and be kind rather than go out of your way to cause hurt.

Posted By: semar
Date Posted: 02 May 2018 at 8:06pm
Definitely he is "a very bad apple".
Religion/faith is not just a statement in your lip. You should feel it in your haert and practice it in your attitude and action.

The Prophet said: "Do not eat before you are hungry, and stop eating before you are full"
"1/3 of your stomach for food 1/3 for water, 1/3 for air"

Posted By: Muslimah82
Date Posted: 01 June 2018 at 7:45am
Just like there are bad non-Muslims, there are bad Muslims. You have to speak to a counselor or imam about what to do. Not having more children with this guy seems like a good idea. Also, you have to think about your own spiritual well-being and salvation and that of your child. Keep praying.

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