wife doesn't want children
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URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=41742
Printed Date: 26 April 2024 at 6:57pm
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Topic: wife doesn't want children
Posted By: NewYorker1626
Subject: wife doesn't want children
Date Posted: 17 December 2017 at 2:19pm
Salaam. My wife (31 and I (34) have been married for 20 months. Prior to marriage we had agreed to wait a year before we start trying for a child. I found out on my wedding night my wife was on the pill. I asked my wife to come of the pill after 9 months so we could start trying on the 12 month and the pill would be out of her system. She refused, and came off the pill on the 13th month. So I said we'd wait for a few months to let the body remove the remains of the pill. After the 4 months had passed I brought up the discussion about trying and I was told that if my wife fell pregnant instantly that would mean she would give birth during Ramadan. She didn't want to put others out her family etc and she thinks people would be in a bad mood. Now we are finally trying and during the most fertile days my wife decides to stay with her own family and spend time with her friends and then comes home tired. I desperately want to start a family. My wife is well aware of this.
A little background on my wife. She had a lot of problems living with her fathers family. Her mum has been basically told to run around after children and her dads brothers. My wife lived in the household running around after her cousins. She said she despises children. She barely bonds with my nieces and nephews.
I love my wife to bits. Ive given her own house. she sees her family, friends and I want her to have a career. I have always put her first. I just really want children. Where do I stand? I always thought women would want children and grow the ummah. I really don't know what to do..... please help
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Replies:
Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 20 December 2017 at 5:36am
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Salaams, and welcome. Why was an agreement made to wait a year before having a child? Did you know she "despises" children prior to marriage? Has she said she despises children, or is this your assumption?
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Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 26 December 2017 at 5:42am
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It seems puzzling that she would agree to have children if she indeed hates kids, which I doubt, and why I asked for clarification.
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